


Enemies with benefits

by tenura



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Dom Tord - Freeform, M/M, NSFW, Red Army, Smut, TordTom, tomtord - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:35:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 85,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25843675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenura/pseuds/tenura
Summary: (There will definitely be smutAnd I'm only gonna warn ppl in the first chapter)Masturbation,Sexual frustration,Drama, hate and lubrication.Let's go with that(There's an actual story, not just smut.)This story can be originally found on my Wattpad account 'i_like_tordles'Have a pleasant life ouo
Relationships: Patryck/Paul (Eddsworld), Tom/Tord (Eddsworld)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 90





	1. Meaningless

Tord pressed me against the wall harshly, I could already feel my pants tightening. Our faces close together, he went straight for me neck, biting and sucking on all the places he usually does. He knew exactly where my sweet spots were, my head hitting the wall as I arched my back. We weren't even undressed yet and I was already moaning.

My face flushed a darker shade of red as I felt Tord grinding against me, our members pressing against each other in a rhythm.

"TorD~"

He started grinding harder, precum already dripping from the tip of my hard cock. Unusual, as it almost always took more time for me to be this aroused. But then again, I had my reasons.

"Wow, Tom. I didn't know you were this desperate today~.."

I turned my head to the side, avoiding Tord's gaze as he slipped his hands onto my thighs, moving them closer to my dick and palming me through my jeans.

"sh- aAh~ sh-ut i-it, ah-asshole~  
Y-ouv'e beEn b-usy wi-th with wor-k~"

I mentally slapped myself for hardly being able to get a sentence out normally. Incoherent mumbles left my mouth as Tord unzipped my pants, pulling them, as well as my boxers, fully down and staring at my lower half hungrily.

"Well, I guess I'll have to make up for the times I've been away."

Without warning, Tord wrapped his hand around my cock, licking the tip before swirling his tongue around my entire length. The feeling made me throw my head back, his mouth taking in my entire member. Before long, Tord was bobbing his head up and down, my dick hitting the back of his throat everytime he did so. The feeling was amazing, intense pleasure building up and being the one thing I could think about.

Without holding back, I moaned roughly. Gripping on Tord's hair, I pushed his head down slightly faster, moaning louder as I got close to my limit. Tord swirling his tongue around the tip whenever he came up made the action even more intense, breath hitching everytime he took my length in. Hardly any time passed, my legs were already giving up on me, Tord holding me up and speeding up his pace. Heat pooled in my lower abdomen, a few sounds of warning and pleasure being all I could make to tell Tord I was close. Though, being the bastard commie that he is, Tord pulled away before I could let loose. Whines left my mouth as he stood up with a smirk.

In a swift action, Tord grabbed me by my thighs, lifting me up and carrying me to the bed. My back hitting the mattress abruptly, I saw Tord working on unzipping his pants. He eventually got them undone, pulling his pants off completely and throwing them away before his shirt joined them on the ground.

Now dressed in only his boxers, Tord crawled on top of me, biting my neck and lifting my shirt with his hands. His sharp teeth sunk into my skin, tongue grazing over as he found a sweet spot of mine. Pleasure building up, small mewls left my mouth along with other incoherent curses and noises. Tord ran his fingers over my chest, starting to play with my nipples, breathless moans and pants leaving my lips. His tongue glazed over my skin, saliva leaving a trail over the bites and love marks Tord left.

He pulled my shirt off completely. I was entirely naked, a fact Tord seemed a little too excited about. My legs were moved to lay loosely on Tord's shoulders, my lower half shaking as Tord moved his hands down my chest and onto my stomach.

He pulled away from my neck, giving me a lustful grin.

"Do you want prep, or should we-?"

Drool left my mouth as I shook my head wildly, mind clouded with thoughts of lust.

"J-just st-art-"

Tord wasn't surprised by my answer. It was the same one I'd give after going for so long without his touch. Either way, he grabbed the bottle of lube sitting on the nightstand, squirting some onto his hand and coating his lower half with it. He smeared some over my blushing hole, the cold liquid making me shiver lightly. A slight gasp left my lips as I felt the tip of his dick poking at my entrance, eventually going through and pushing into me slowly. My breath hitched, jaw clenched in pain as I shut my eyes and gripped the bed sheets tightly.

It took a few moments, but Tord eventually pushed all the way in, stretching my entrance painfully, though I didn't regret telling him not to prep me. I couldn't take another moment of him not being inside me. He waited for me to adjust, as he always does. The feeling of him inside me wasn't new, I'd grown used to it by now. After a few minutes, I nodded at him.

"M-move.."

Tord nodded, slowly pulling out of me until only the tip was left inside. I gasped sharply as I felt him thrust into me at a fast pace, driving me up the wall with pain and pleasure. Eyes going wide and white, I couldn't help but stay stuck in a moment of blissful shock. He repeated the action, my breath constantly hitching as I realized how I really should've taken some form of prep. Instead, Tord was tearing me a new asshole, sending me into a flurry of pain. Tears pricked my eyes, some rolling down as he thrusted into me.

After minutes of painful pounding, I finally began to grow used to the feeling, going so far as to arch my back with a lustful smile on my face. Tord sped up his pace, making me scratch his back, the intense pleasure making me lose myself in the moment.

Soon enough, Tord was ramming into me, gasps and moans filling our ears as I felt my muscles tensing up, pleasure becoming immense. Tord was sputtering profanities in Norwegian, nothing I could understand, but his tone said it all. His nails dug into my sides, he increased his speed to the point where I couldn't hold myself back from screaming. Everything felt so intense, Tord's rough thrusts making it feel like electricity was coursing through my body.

He went back to sucking on my neck, louder moans escaping my lips as I gripped the bed sheets tighter, knuckles going white. I felt my lower half tremble, the obvious sign that I was close.

"T-Tor-d I'm-"

"I kno-w.. me too-"

The last few thrusts were sloppy and fast, my back arching and hands clenching tighter as I came, feeling him fill me up right after. A loud, long moan filled the room, breathless pants ringing in my ears as I kept my eyes shut tightly. I fought with myself, trying my hardest not to let go of the pleasure in order to move. Tord pulled out of me after a few tired thrusts, panting deeply as he flopped on the bed beside me.

Opening my eyes slightly, I saw him staring at the ceiling, out of breath and blushing madly. Wanting physical contact, I groaned while shuffling over to Tord, placing my head on his chest and my arms around his waist. Of course, he wasn't a big fan of that. He never is.

"Tom, you know I only want to cuddle with someone I'm together with. I've told you before-"

I didn't want to hear the lecture Tord was going to give me again. Rolling my eyes, I cut him off and cuddled tighter.

"I don't care. You were rough, and I want snuggles."

A sharp sigh leaving his lips, Tord reluctantly put his arms around my body, my lips curling into a soft smile as my eyes closed tiredly again.

"Happy?"

"Very."

Tord let a chuckle escape his lips, that sound could send shivers down my spine any day. My favourite part of this routine is always the sweet tone he uses when we talk closely. Skin on skin, heartbeats in sync, this was always the part that made me smile the most.

"You're lucky Edd and Matt are gonna be gone for a while, or else I would've kicked you out already."

Ah, there it is. The cold, bitter sound of a distant man trying to keep his dignity and come out on top. It's not like he has to, though. He's already on top to begin with.

A small nod was all I could muster, focusing on the steady heartbeat of Tord, a smile still glued to my lips. Whatever kind, I couldn't tell.

Things had been going on like this for as long as I could remember. We'd fight in the hallways, make fun of each other in public, taunt, laugh, glare at each other.

But behind closed doors, we can't get enough of each other. The sound of bodies shared at twilight, bed creaking and breathless screams filling the room. Our lustful desires get the best of us, making our minds clouded and vision go blurry from tears.

But it doesn't mean a thing. Tord has no feelings for me, as I do not for him. The kisses, pleasure, lust shared between us is all for our personal gain. Sexual frustration being let out as we help each other whenever we need to. Somehow, it makes me upset knowing my only relationship is based on animalistic needs, my want for pleasure overpowering me when I meet him at midnight.

Of course, there are always some moments that are beautiful. Things I think back to when I feel unloved or upset. Times when Tord would show absolute kindness to me, holding me when I'm crying on my bed. Cradling me in his arms, kissing me passionately, without a trace of selfishness. Those moments make me feel better than being intimate with Tord.

"You should probably leave soon. Who knows if Edd might come back to get something."

Those are the moments I miss when they're over.  
Because they always end too soon.

"Yeah, I guess..."

I sat up again, looking down at my stomach to see some cum sticking to it. Cringing slightly, I go to wipe it off with my shirt, but Tord beat me to it with a tissue. My bare body aching, pain residing in my lower half, I struggle to get off the bed. My clothes were handed to me by Tord, a soft smile curling at his lips as he did so.

"Th-anks."

A nod as a response. My legs shakily straightened themselves, feet dragging my body over to the door as I slipped my boxers and shirt on again. One last look at Tord. Just one.

He was smiling, still slightly out of breath, my cheeks still flaming hot as I gave him a little wave. He returned it, giggling softly.

"Thank you, Tord. I had a great time, as always."

Tord snorted, laughing a bit before sighing and tiredly waving at me again.

"Good night, Jehovah."

"Good night, Commie."

The door shut softly, my footsteps echoing through the empty hall as I walked to my room and went inside. Laying on my bed, tired and worn out. There was no doubt I would fall asleep as soon as I closed my eyes, but I didn't want to.

Since we started our secret activity, I found myself replaying what had happened in my mind before falling asleep. The sounds and smells coming back to me, the feeling of Tord touching me sending small shivers down my back. I couldn't help but keep a goofy smile on my lips, being fully pleased with how the night turned out.

Hot and needy, the feelings I had were amazing. My body almost lost all control, intense pleasure coursing through my veins. It was as memorable as every other time.

It doesn't mean anything.


	2. Morning Greetings

My head hurt like a bitch the next day. So did my back. And legs. And ass.

Thanks, Tord.

Pushing the suffocating covers off my body, I managed to open my eyes wide enough to see the crack in my curtains, sunlight filling my room. After stretching my relaxed muscles, I sat upright, dizzily blinking to adjust my eyes to the light. I looked at the floor, some clothes tossed on the ground from a few nights ago, having never bothered to pick them up.

Body still exhausted, legs dangling over the edge of my bed, my feet touched the ground and hoisted me up to stand.

Stumbling slightly, my messy hair and clothes came in view as I looked in my full body mirror. There was still a wet spot of precum on my boxers, making me cringe at the sight before taking new clothes from my drawer and wrapping a towel around my waist.  
I walked quickly to the bathroom, wanting to take a shower before Edd finishes making breakfast. I could already smell the bacon.

Handle twisting, yet I wasn't the one to open the bathroom door. Before me stood a half naked Tord, shirtless, with black sweatpants and a wet towel over his shoulder. For a moment, I was met face to face with his chest, unable to look away from it until he let out a sharp breath. My eyes wandered up to meet his.

He gave me a glare, I snapped out of my gaze and returned it.

"Get out of my fucking way, Jehovah."

A growl left my lips as Tord pushed past me.

"Well if you'd fucking left the shower earlier, I wouldn't be in your goddamn way, Commie!"

Turning a heel, Tord glared daggers into my eyes, his actions mirrored by mine. He looked pissed. But he shouldn't be, seeing as how I was in more pain than he was.

A voice from downstairs cut through the tense atmosphere.

"Can you guys please stop fighting? Especially so early in the morning!"

Edd sounded upset. Of course he was. Who wouldn't be annoyed with hearing his friends yell at each other right after getting up?

I rolled my eyes, walking away from Tord with a snarl. Somehow, even without looking back at him, I could tell Tord was doing the same. Being near him like this made me sick to my stomach. Knowing he probably had that horrible, smug look on his face for making me angry. It just ruins my otherwise alright morning.

Feeling the beads of water rush down my body, my annoyance soon washed away, steam rising and collecting on the ceiling of the bathroom. Of course, I could never stay mad at Tord after distracting myself long enough. Soon enough, my thoughts returned to last night, face blushing a light pink as I remember calling Tord's name with a long moan following. It was rough, but wonderful. Unlike many nights, we focused on pure pleasure with only slight pain in the background.

Other nights, Tord and I would be intimate to either let go of sexual tension or to feel better. I'd often go through slight upsetting or downright depressing episodes, feeling unloved or unwanted. Like I'm a mistake and the world shouldn't have to put up with me, much like my friends shouldn't have to face a disaster of a person.

But when Tord wraps his arms around my body, lays me down gently and leaves no part of me untouched, my thoughts and worries melt away. Somehow, he settles my mind in more ways than I could ever have imagined. Even if our relationship doesn't exist, it still helps knowing he's around. That he can calm me down and make me feel loved in the sweetest and kindest ways I never knew he could.

My shower ended with my hair being drenched, warm water starting to slip away and get chilly.

Feet touching the tile floor, a small shiver ran down my spine at the coldness beneath me. I grabbed my towel, drying my body off well enough to slip on my clothing and walk out of the bathroom, feeling refreshed.

A few steps to my room, I laid everything on my bed to deal with later. It was early in the morning, after all.

I followed the intoxicating smell of bacon to the kitchen, seeing Edd placing everyone's food down, while Tord and Matt were already seated. I sat opposite Tord, glaring at him while he played with his fork and knife.   
So immature. So annoying.

Edd sat to the left of me, Matt on the right. It was a typical breakfast; eggs and bacon with a glass of orange juice. For most of us, at least. Edd, of course, had his signature can of cola in his hand, as well as the most amount of bacon on his plate. I didn't need to see Tord's face to know he was scowling at Edd.

"Hey, old friend. Don't you want to give some of that bacon to me? I don't think you can handle all of that by yourself."

A forced smile made its way on Tord's face, staring at Edd with a worryingly threatening gaze. Knowing Edd, he was never going to give up any of his bacon.

"You're wrong, Tord. I think I can."

Really? Arguing this early in the morning? Well I guess now I know how Edd must've felt. Still, it was annoying, and I was not in the mood to hear screaming across the table.

"Oh yeah? Well I think - NgH~"

A sadistic smile crept on my face at the sound that left Tord's lips. Matt and Edd looked at him, confusion written all over them as Tord's face went bright red. My foot pushed harder against Tord's crotch, seeing the anger and embarrassment bubble up inside of the other.

"Uh, Tord? You ok?"

Tord managed to nod to the other, squeezing his legs together and glaring at me, the action going unnoticed by Edd and Matt.

"J-ust st-ubbe-d m-y t-OE-"

His legs being pressed closed didn't phase me at all as I pressed harder with my foot. Tord was growing redder every second, going so far as to cover his mouth with his hand while looking at his plate with wide eyes. I knew what that meant...  
Yup.  
I could feel him get a little excited.

An uncomfortable hum came from Edd, who went back to eating every strip of bacon at once. Taking a sip of his cola, he let out a surprised sound as he put the drink down again.

"Tord! Didn't you have some sort of announcement?"

Said man looked at Edd, face cherry red and pants getting tighter by the second. Though I had to admit, Tord having an announcement to make did catch my attention. But then again, I was having too much fun with our secret fight under the table.

My breath hitched when I felt something on my crotch. Ooh, it seems like Tord wants revenge.

"Y-yEs, actUAllY... I d-iD have an annOunce-Ment.."

The foot on my crotch didn't have much of an effect on me, seeing as Tord was too distracted to put pressure on it. That didn't mean I couldn't, though. While Tord was stumbling over his words, I circled my foot around his crotch, feeling his member rising, though restricted by the pants he was wearing.

"I-it'S actUaLly i-mp-ORTan-t, s-o I'd ap-PREciAte it i-f yOu A-ll pA-id AtteN-tiOn!"

Venom was laced into his voice, I could see a hint of anger and hatred in his eyes. Ok, maybe it was a good time to stop...

Well, stop the motion, at least. My foot stayed firmly on Tord's pants, but not enough pressure was added to make him even more flustered.

His blushing died down, having a light red blush dust over his cheeks. If he wasn't so annoying, I'd almost think he looked pretty cute. Matt and Edd were incredibly confused, yet they didn't question what had just happened. That was probably for the best.

"Thank you. Now, I have something to announce, that some of you may not like..."

A brow raised, I had grown intrigued about what Tord had to tell us. Of course, I don't like anything he says, so he's already right about one thing.

Clearing his throat, Tord seemed a bit hesitant to speak. Maybe it was something embarrassing? I would've love to hear him tell us that a waifu body pillow was going to be delivered here. Or that we 'shouldn't be surprised' if the amount of hentai in the mailbox was doubled. Oh yeah, that's definitely something he would announce to us. I coudn't wait to hear what this sick fucker had to say-

"I'm moving out."


	3. Please

Suddenly, I didn't feel like teasing Tord anymore. My foot slipped, hitting the floor with a soft thud, though it went unnoticed. The atmosphere was tense. No one spoke a word. It was obvious Tord was regretting what he said, or more like the way he said it. Stern and cold, cutting through the playfulness that was going on between us. 

I couldn't process what he had said at first. It came as a sudden shock, a complete surprise. My face was white, eyes wide, throat going noticeably dry. Those three words. Those three fucking words were the ones worse than any threat Tord had given me. Sure, I hate Tord. He's an asshole who doesn't give two shits about me...  
When we're around other people.

He's thrown me against the couch, poured ice cold water over my head while I was asleep, cut one of Susan's strings, stolen a bunch of my hoodies... you get the point.

But Tord had also held me when I was upset, given me more love than anyone else had, taken care of me when I was sick, stuck up for me when I needed protection. He's shown me acts of love and care when I needed them. I still hate his guts, but there are times when I can't help but feel loved.

If Tord leaves, I won't feel that again. 

"I'm sorry, but I have to leave. I must try my luck in the big city. Get a good job, make enough money, follow my dreams, you know?"

Every word built up more and more anger in my body. He was going to leave us to 'follow his dreams'? What kind of bullshit is that?! Looking at Edd and Matt, I could tell they were just as concerned. 

"That's... that's a big decision, Tord. When are you planning on leaving?"

It was clear Edd was trying to hold back his frown. Matt, on the other hand, was pouting like a lost dog. Tord didn't face anyone but Edd, probably because he couldn't bear the weight of responsibility that comes with making Matt sad. What a coward.

"I'm planning on leaving tomorrow, at noon."

I slammed my hands on the table, standing up abruptly and placing my uneaten food on the counter. My friends simply stared at me as I walked away, not making eye contact with any of them. My door was slammed shut as I walked to my bed, flopping on top of the blankets and stuffing my face into the pillow. 

How was I supposed to feel? Happy, or annoyed? Happy that I won't have to deal with that annoying bastard, who teases and mocks me in the hallways? Annoyed that I won't be able to let out any pent up anger or frustration through him anymore? How about angry that he's leaving us behind, so he can get some fancy job. He already has a well paying one, apparently. Hell, he's paying half of the rent! What the fuck will happen to that when he leaves?

A loud groan left my mouth as I rolled over, staring at the ceiling. My mind didn't stop flooding with questions and negative thoughts, going so far as to think Tord would ruin our lives entirely if he leaves. Though somehow, through the chaos and mayhem going on in my mind, I found a tear rolling down the side of my cheek. Wiping it away, my mind went blank. Was I crying? Why? Through all of the hate rushing through my body, how was I able to muster a tear?

I didn't want to put up with this anymore. My eyelids felt heavy as my thoughts carried me away into a slumber, worries and stress seeming distant, as all I could focus on was my consciousness slipping away. Too much drama with that boy. Too much drama.

Of course, I had no idea how long I slept. I awoke to the sound of knocking on my bedroom door, accompanied by a familiar Norwegian man calling my name. A loud groan left my lips as I remembered what had happened earlier. A gaze out of my window told me I had been asleep for a long time, seeing as the sun was on the other side of the sky, beginning to descend. 

"Ugh, what is it, Commie?!"

The excessive knocking ceased. Thank god.

"May I please come in, Tom?"

My eyes rolled at the request, but I walked to the door and opened it. Well, I stumbled there. Tord had woken me up from a deep nap, after all.

"What the hell do you want?"

He stood before me, eyes glazed with slight guilt and expression less confident than usual.

"Can we talk please? Edd and Matt are out buying me a farewell gift."

An annoyed scoff left my lips as I walked to my bed, sitting on it with my arms crossed. 

"What do you have to say?"

The spot next to me was occupied by Tord, I didn't make eyes contact with him as he sat there. He doesn't deserve my recognition.

"I know you're annoyed with me, and I know it's short notice on me leaving, but I hope you don't think I'm abandoning you guys. You three will always be in my heart, and I'll try writing to you whenever I can. But I have to follow my dream. And I can't do that here."

Every word leaving his lips sounded more and more like a script. It was clear he'd been planning this for a while and didn't bother telling us about it.

"You probably believe that I'm sick of you guys, but that's not right."

My blood boiled at that line. Sure, I had underlying thoughts about why he's leaving and what I thought the reason was, but that's not what made me agitated. When he finished talking, I spoke up, venom laced into my voice.

"And what about me?"

He seemed confused at my question. Dimwit. It was obvious what I was referring to.

"What about you?"

My teeth clenched, hands balled up slightly.

"Didn't you give any fucking thought about what will happen to me when you leave?!"

Tord didn't get it. How could he? He only cares about himself. Tilting his head to the side, it was clear he wanted me to explain.

"You goddamn idiot. You were the only reason I cut down on my drinking. Why I didn't go out to clubs to get laid. And now that you're leaving, what the fuck do you think I'll do? Our little 'sessions' have been the only things keeping me from losing my mind! If you leave, I... I don't know if I can stop myself."

My heart ached as I spoke. Somehow my hand found its way on my chest, gripping the cloth tightly. Tord stayed quiet, looking down with a guilt ridden expression. Pathetic. It just made me angrier.

"WELL?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO THAT? DID YOU GIVE ANY THOUGHT ABOUT ME? ABOUT THIS? ABOUT US?!"

Arms laced around my torso, holding me close and pulling me into a hug. At first, I struggled against Tord's embrace, though eventually I gave up and let him hug me.

Pulling away, Tord cupped my cheeks, wiping away tears I hadn't noticed were running down my face. There was a moment between us. A moment without hatred and without lust. Where our lips touched gently, no underlying want of sex or pleasure. I found myself pressing my lips against his, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer. Because I knew, this would be the last time. 

So, as I was laid down by the very arms of the man who once hurt me, I was shocked by the gentle kisses and nibbles that were left over my face and exposed neck. Hoodie lifted off of my body, meeting Tord's on the floor. Gentle licks trailed over my bare torso once my shirt slipped off my body. It wasn't long before the remaining clothes on our bodies were off, piled on the ground, while Tord and I simply ignored their very existence.

Warm hands caressed my sides slowly, lips moving from my stomach to my chest and neck, lube-coated fingers tracing my blushing hole before slowly pushing their way inside of me. A surprised gasp escaped my lips, the cold lubricant making me clench my eyes shut as I waited for Tord to prep me. As two fingers eventually made their way deep enough inside, I could feel my entrance beginning to stretch with every motion they made. 

A small hiss left my mouth as I felt Tord add another finger, though after a while, I began whining for more. Eventually, Tord's fingers left my hole completely, the empty feeling being worse than the pain of being prepped.

Soon enough, Tord's member was positioned in front of my hole. Fingers gripped the blanket in pain as he began pushing inside of me. I didn't know why, but this time felt more painful than every other one. It felt like my first time again. 

Why? Was it because this was the last time? Because it was taking longer than usual to adjust? Or because the small kisses and sweet nothings Tord gave me felt like we weren't just having sex again. It felt like so much more.

After a few minutes, the pain began to wear off. I nodded my head at Tord, already sweating from nervousness and pleasure. He didn't even start moving yet, and I was already breathless. Though soon enough, I let out a moan, feeling Tord slide out about halfway before thrusting back into me... slowly.

Part of me was taken aback by the action. Usually Tord didn't waste a minute before pounding into me, which was honestly invigorating. But his slow thrusting made me question my own sanity. This seemed to be more like what everyone else says sex really is. Making... love.   
What a ridiculous thought. Making love with Tord of all people. 

Another moan escaped my lips, I couldn't hold them in for the life of me. The thrusting was kept at a slow, passionate pace. It felt so unreal, so alien, to have Tord make me feel so loved. I looked at him in a daze, a strange feeling stirring inside of me as we kissed. Small, sweet kisses and pecks left on my lips. Eyes closing softly, hands on his shoulders as my body began to crave more. My hips moved along with Tord's thrusts, he got the message and slightly sped up.

My head thrown back, I gasped, nails digging into Tord's shoulders, though I couldn't help myself. My insides tingled, my figure began shivering with pleasure. Breathless moans and whimpers leaving my lips, mind clouded with overwhelming sensations. 

He picked up speed again, I couldn't stop the embarrassing sounds and gasps escaping my mouth. As he hit a nerve inside of me, I screamed, my back arching as I came over my chest.

"H-IT TH-AT S-PO-T A-AGA-IN~"

Tord did as he was told, constantly thrusting into my prostate, making me melt under him. Never before had I experienced such intense pleasure, burning desire to make this moment last forever. Tord huffed in my ear, his thrusts getting sloppier, though he still made me moan in ecstasy. 

With his last few thrusts, he came inside of me, the feeling of him filling me up making me come again with an exhausted moan. He rode out his orgasm with a few more thrusts before finally settling down and pulling out. The feeling of his hot seed seeping out of me made me squirm, though I was too tired to do anything against it.

A pair of arms laced around me, pulling me close to Tord's chest. He draped the blanket over us with minor difficulty, laying on his back while I listened to his racing heartbeat. I didn't even notice a tear roll down my cheek.

"Please, Tom."

My head tilted up to see Tord's eyes shut, his expression seeming as if he's trying to hold back tears.

"Please don't forget me."

A soft chuckle left my lips. That was impossible. Tord has given me so many memories I can't possibly forget if I tried. Both good and bad.

"Only if you promise me one thing, Tord."

A brow raised, I hesitated to speak the words I've held in my mind for too long.

"Promise you'll come back for me."

A smirk and a hum. It strangely made my heart flutter.

"I promise I'll come back for you, Tom."


	4. Goodbye

Waking up to an empty bed. I suppose it's only natural to say I'm used to it by now. But after last night, all I longed for was a pair of arms draped around my shoulders. I'd fallen asleep with Tord by my side, holding me close to his chest and feeling his warm breath on my head. Though, sitting up and looking beside me, I could only see the shuffled around bed sheets. It was painfully clear that Tord was here for a few hours, though the side wasn't even warm. He must've left a long time ago.

With a sigh, my legs were kicked over the edge of the bed, dangling off the side as I sat with a slouch. A small stretch straightened my back, a yawn woke me up a little more, though I knew I was just doing pointless acts to make it seem less quiet. Of course, when the unmistakable sound of Edd yelling was heard, I perked up to listen.

"TOM! COME SAY GOODBYE TO TORD BEFORE HE LEAVES!"

Oh yeah... Tord's leaving. 

"I'll be right there!"

I didn't feel like yelling, and to be frank, Edd really didn't have to. He was clearly on the other side of my door, and my bed wasn't that far away from it. 

So, Tord hasn't left yet. I suppose it's only fair to say goodbye. After all, he did give me a lot to remember. Especially last night. Somehow, I doubt I'll ever be able to forget the warm feelings I felt in my body as Tord touched me.

A strange shiver ran down my spine as I stood up, almost falling down again, due to my knees wanting to give out beneath me. I slipped on my dark blue jeans and my 'Stay Safe' shirt, before grabbing my regular hoodie and putting it on while I walked. At the bottom of the stairs, I could see a few boxes lying around. By the looks of it, it seemed like Tord was close to being done with moving out completely. As he came inside to take another box, he looked up at me.

I froze in my spot. It seemed he did, too. There was a moment of stillness between us. Not moving, not breathing. Just us.  
He broke the stillness first.

"I'-m sorry I left so early. I had to get on with packing, you know? Before Edd and Matt found out where I was."

A fake smile plastered on my face, I walked down the stairs to stand in front of Tord. I could see Edd and Matt out of the window, fighting over a mirror that clearly belonged to Tord. 

"It's fine, Tord. I'm used to waking up alone."

He's frowning... crap. Did I really make him upset about that? This was supposed to be a 'no emotion, just sex' relationship. I mean, we did hang out together a few times at my request, seeing as I don't want to fuck someone I didn't get to know a little better first. Those were nice. I learned a lot about Tord that I never knew. Of course, we still had to fight with each other around other people, but when Edd and Matt were out of town? I had so much fun with Tord. Those times I would wake up with a pair of arms around my waist and a heavy blush on my cheeks were amazing.

"This is probably the last time I can do this for a while, so I want you to know something."

Raising a brow, I was about to ask what Tord meant, when my lips were occupied with his own. He kissed me softly, unlike the usual times he would roughly shove his tongue into my mouth while we made out. This kiss was sweet, dare I say, loving. Gentle and caring in a way I only found out last night. It lasted a few blissful seconds until Tord pulled away, leaving me breathless and shocked. His hands on my shoulders, he faced me with a light pink painted over his cheeks.

"Thomas, there's something I've wanted to say for a long time now."

It felt as if time around us stopped once again, I awaited his answer with a strange feeling in my chest. It felt tight. My breath was, held though I didn't know why. Tord seemed hesitant to speak, his mouth opening and closing with no words coming out, his gaze flickering to the floor and back. Though, as we heard a loud crash from outside, we turned to see Edd and Matt outside, a mirror smashed on the ground. A sigh leaving his mouth, Tord looked at me with an empty smile.

"You're really good in bed."

Pulling away from me, Tord left me frozen. In a daze. As he turned his back on me, I felt cold. And as he walked out of the house, carrying a box in his arms, I felt lonely. His answer left me unsatisfied, my chest still feeling too tight to breath. Heart pounding, I was met with a longing feeling. Wanting Tord to come back and say something- ANYTHING other than... that. Those five words that mean nothing but lust.

"Good morning, Tom! Wanna help us carry some boxes to Tord's car?"

Why would I want to? Why would I want the one person who makes me feel anything to leave faster?

"Uh... sure, I'll help."

Is there something I should do? Something I should say before he leaves? Possibly forever.

"Great! It's not that much, anyway."

Can't there be a way to find out what this is? This nagging voice in the back of my head trying to crawl through and take over my body, telling me to change something. To let something in. But I don't understand. I don't understand anything anymore. Not since last night.

The box in my hands wasn't too heavy. That being said, it wasn't the lightest thing I could've picked. By the label on the front, I could tell it was mostly full of bed sheets and mattress covers. Making my way over to the car, Tord smiled at me before taking the box from my hands, placing it neatly in the back seat, before taking another one from Matt. 

The car was full too soon. Everything Tord possessed was in there. Familiar posters and bodypillows came to mind as I saw the box labeled 'For the love of all that is holy, do NOT open this box unless you're Tord'. A soft chuckle left my lips, though it was cut short as my attention was turned towards Edd.

A sad frown on his lips, I watched him hug Tord gently, the men parting a quite large amount of time after. Matt was next, his brows furrowed as he too frowned with sadness. Though he quickly replaced it with a smile as Tord handed him a red object Matt remembered playing with a few times before. 

"We'll never forget you, Tord! You, or your memory eraser gun! Ah, so many memories...."

Hearing a sigh, my attention turned to Edd.

"I can't believe Tord is leaving..."

A quick reply from the Norski. Too quick.

"Yes, Edd! I have to follow my dream, and make it in the big city!"

A stab to the heart, I knew I couldn't let anything out of the ordinary take place here. Edd and Matt finding out about us right before Tord left would just mean bad news for me.

"Fine by me!"

A few more comments here and there, the goodbye wasn't stretched out for too long. Only one line stuck in my head as Tord prepared to sit in the car.

"Goodbye, old friends!"

Friends? No. We're not friends. We never were friends. I'm...

"I'm not your friend."

Not a moment later, a cloud of smoke blown my way, Tord drove off. He was gone. A strange sensation built up in me. Part of me was relieved. No more fights in the hallways, death threats between us were done for good. Of course, another part of me longed to chase after him out of desperation. 

Was I really desperate?   
No... I can still make this work.

"Tom! You coming inside or what?"

I look back to see Edd waving from the doorway for me to follow. Not like there was much to do out here besides watch the smoke dissipate. With a small sigh, I followed my friends into the house, my head hanging down out of habit.

Without looking up at my friends who were sitting down to eat breakfast, I walked towards the fridge and pulled out a bottle of Smirnoff. Despite the plate of perfectly made eggs for me, I walked away from the table and left the room. Though, I didn't get very far with Edd calling me out.

"Tom? Where are you going?"

An annoyed sigh escaping my lips, I didn't bother to turn around and face my friend. My time was better spent making my way to the door I was heading to.

"I'm going to my room. Where else?"

"What about breakfast? I made a plate for yo-"

The door closed before he got to finish his sentence. Yes, I feel bad for ignoring my friend, but I couldn't deal with him right now. Or anything else for that matter. My mind was too busy trying to piece everything together while my world crumbled apart. 

What is this? This confused state of mind where everything feels so distant from me? Sliding down against the door, my thoughts all leading back to the man who would usually comfort me in a time like this. 

Sure, Tord and I acted harshly towards each other very often. Though other times, he made me wonder if the man I threatened not even an hour ago was the same one holding me in his arms. Part of me could still feel his chest against my back, his soft breaths on my head making me smile gently and calm down. But when I raised my hands to hold his arms softly, the feeling disappeared. It was never there to begin with.

The cap opened, my room filled with the wonderful scent of Smirnoff once more as I took a sip, ignoring the burning sensation as the fluid slid down my throat. I needed anything to make me forget the strange ache in my heart.

After a few minutes, I felt it. The familiar sensation of desperation and need. God, why am I so needy? Tord and I have fucked basically every day for the past week, yet I still feel this way. As if there's some void in me that needs to be filled with pleasure. Something to distract me from the raging pain everywhere else in my body. In my heart.

Motivation kicked in as I stood up, taking another swig of my drink and locking the door, before walking over to my bed and reaching under it. I grabbed the box that's been sitting there for so long. It's been a while since I've opened it, seeing as how Tord was always my go-to for this.

Picking up the lid, I looked at my old sex toys and vibrators, hardly remembering the last time I ever used one of them. Though I'd probably be using them a lot more frequently from now on.

Choosing my dark blue dildo, I put the box aside, sitting up on my bed and pulling out a bottle of lube from the nightstand. Taking off my regular hoodie and throwing it on the ground, my shirt and pants followed soon after. Sitting cross-legged on my bed, wearing nothing but boxers, I got ready to take all of my pain away, while trying my best not to make any loud noises. 

I was about to slip my checkered boxers off as well, when a small piece of paper caught my eye. It was laying on the ground, a few feet away from me. I hadn't noticed it before, maybe I was too deep into my own thoughts to see it laying on my bed.

Placing the objects in my hand to the side, I picked up the note swiftly and brought it close to my face to read in full view. A smile crept on my lips as I did so, cheeks dusting a light pink.

'Hey, asshole.  
I have to tell you. Even if your hoodies smell like shit and you drink way too much Smirnoff for your own good, you still have to know something.

No matter how hard I could possibly try, I'll never be able to forget our little games. I never got to thank you for doing this all with me. It wasn't easy to keep hating each other to the point of threatening you with a knife all the time. But weirdly enough, it was worth it.

So, thank you. For every feeling, memory, and experience you've given me for these past few months.

I won't break my promise, Tom.

See you in the future~

-Tord'

Suddenly, lust didn't seem that important to me at that moment. Only the words written on that small, crumpled up note in my hands.


	5. Alcohol

Strobe lights lit the club up as I sat on a stool by the bar. My head was pounding, the alcohol had already sunken in and was taking effect on my brain. Mind fuzzy, I gazed around the room, spotting out anyone on the floor that was interesting enough to look at.

For the past few months, I'd been going out every night and getting wasted in the name of forgetting everything that happened a year ago. The whole ordeal of Tord leaving and my stress levels going through the roof sometimes. Alcohol and one night stands have kept me from breaking down, getting my stress levels to a somewhat normal degree. They got me to break down for different reasons instead. 

A tap on my shoulder, I turned to face a man with dirty blonde hair and soft, brown eyes. He gave me a heavy smirk, leaning on the counter lightly and looking me up and down. Though, it was difficult to tell if anything I saw was accurate, the blinding lights and the empty glasses beside me were enough to make reality seem like another dimension. 

"Hey there, short stack. What're you doing here all alone~?"

Letting out a playfully offended gasp, my hand hit my chest as I looked at him with a pout. 

"I'm not thaaaaat short! Plus, how would yoOou know? I'm sitting on a chaaair!"

I poked my tongue out at him childishly, getting a low chuckle in return. God, I was so drunk. And holy shit, that guy looked hot as fuck with my limited vision.

"Fair enough, dollface~"

A hand placed on my waist, the blonde scooted closer to me with a light smirk. Being used to this, I bit my lip and giggled drunkenly, my face getting very close to the other's until his breath his my skin.

"What's your name, shortcake?"

My gaze flickered from his mouth to his eyes, though it was difficult to tell the difference. A quick flashback of someone ran through my mind, the person harboring the same smirk as the man before me. Someone who I wish was in front of me instead.  
Though, due to me being drunk off my ass, I couldn't give enough of a shit to care about that.

"Mmm you have to gueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess!~"

The look of annoyance on his face made me burst out laughing, I couldn't keep a straight face when I saw his blank one. But as soon as his smirk came back, his hand pulling me closer by the waist, it was clear he would take advantage of the situation.

"Alright... Is your name my sexy boyfriend? Because I'd love to call you that."

A gasp once more, though this time out of astonishment.

"Damn smooth."

He chuckled, obviously proud with himself. Hot, sexy, smooth as fuck, I didn't need any more proof. Grabbing him by his tie, his face was pulled closer to mine, as we were only inches apart. He let out a surprised yelp, though it quickly melted away as he saw my flirty expression.

"Alright, Mr. Chick Magnet. I only have oooone question for you!"

The man looked at me with a smirk, resting his head on his palm and giving me a small nod.

"What's your naaame, huh?! Like, you know soooo much about me, I wanna know about youuuu~"

It took a bit for him to answer, as he was busy checking me out again and biting his lip.

"Jason."

As soon as the name left his lips, my hand pulled his face even closer to mine by his tie, connecting our lips in a rough and heated kiss. It's been too long since I've felt chapped lips against my soft ones. Reminds me of that same someone from before. Someone I've given up on already.

We pulled away, Jason panted against my skin as I licked my lips.

"Th-at was... really unex-pected."

A drunken giggle left my lips, eyes half lidded and slight drool leaving the corner of my mouth.

"Hehehe, I would've expected a hoooot guyy like yourseelf to be used to thaat~"

Despite being flustered and slightly buzzed, Jason kept himself composed, looking at me with his signature smirk. A slightly embarrassed chuckle leaving his lips, he looked around the room, his eyes eventually just leading back to mine. Of course, I never took my eyes off of him. 

When he turned to face me again, he put on a nervous smile which complimented his widespread blush. I giggle at his face, thinking he was being absolutely adorable. He must not have been used to this. That, or he didn't expect to get any reaction from me.  
Either way, I wasn't going home tonight. Not alone, anyway.

I needed to forget someone. What better way than getting drunk and fucking around?

"S-o uhm..."

My attention was brought back to the man in front of me, he rubbed the back of his neck while trying to start up conversation. It made me roll my eyes playfully. Not much of a dom, though it was better than nothing.

"Wanna go to a hotel?"

He nodded eagerly, attempting to hide his wide smile.

Not half an hour later, a hand combed through my hair roughly, pulling it slightly as a tongue grazed over my neck. It was accompanied by a pair of teeth, a burning sensation forced onto my skin as all I could do was moan in ecstasy.

Feeling two fingers prep me, my back arched, nails clawing at the mattress while drool escaped my mouth. Before long, I felt the fingers leave my entrance, making me whine. Though, as I felt something else push inside, another breathless moan accompanied my overheated panting.

Adjusting to the size wasn't difficult. It wasn't as big as I was used to, which wasn't really his fault. A few minutes passed, small whimpers filling the room as I nodded at him to begin moving.

The pace was rough and quick, I did regret not taking more time to adjust. I tried telling the other to slow down, my pleads going unheard. It hurt, but at that point, I was used to being ignored. For the past year, I'd been treated as nothing but a toy by other men, people I'dhardly spoken to using me for their own personal gain.

Sure, it was something like what I had with my former roommate, though there was a key difference.

Tord cared.

Yet no one else did.

But who cares about that? The past year had been about nothing but lust. Filling a void left inside of me by letting strangers use my body in a way I should be against. Maybe it was out of spite that I did this. Spite for myself, for missing that traitor who left us. Or maybe, I just tell myself that I enjoy this. It's anyone's guess.

Nerves tingling, I could feel I was getting close. This night was honestly nothing compared to half the men I'd been with, but hey.  
Sex is sex.  
Who cares if it's good. It's only a distraction, anyway.

"C-um soo-n-"

His words broken, it looked like Jason was enjoying this a lot more than me. His face was flushed, lip bruised from biting and eyes clenched shut in pleasure.

I was reaching my limit, finally starting to feel good for the first time tonight. My back arched, feeling him thrust quicker than before, getting quite sloppy. A familiar feeling built up in me, I let myself go with a loud moan. But being so lost in my thoughts, I wasn't paying attention to what I was moaning out.

"To-oOrD~"

Jason came quickly after, though he stopped thrusting as soon as he released inside of me. Instead of a lustful smirk and a grunt of pleasure, I was met with wide eyes as soon as I looked up at him.

"I'm... Jason. Who the hell is Tord?"

He pulled out of me, my eyes darting around to come up with a good lie to cover my mistake.

"JAsoN? I ThouGht YoUr nAme is ToRd! Hehe... WhAt a stuPid naMe.  
TOrd."

I let out a drunken snort, pulling Jason closer by wrapping my arms around his neck. He relaxed slightly, melting into my embrace as he thought I was just drunk. That wasn't a complete lie, though I knew exactly who he was.  
Or who he wasn't.  
He wasn't Tord, the man I desperately want to get over.

He still hasn't come back for me. After a year, I'd started believing he'd completely forgotten about the promise, our agreement of him coming back as long as I never forget him.

Pff, how can I? He's always on my mind, no matter what I do or who I'm with. It's like a curse, and I'm the only one holding my end of the deal.

"Well that was fun~"

Facing Jason with a smirk, I giggled and nodded while burying myself into his skin.

"I doubt you'll remember this, since you're completely drunk and all, but if we ever run into each other someday, do you wanna do this again?"

The question took me by surprise. It wasn't really a special night, though the man I was with seemed like a good guy. Despite the fact that he banged someone with a chance of forgetting everything, he seemed like a caring man.

After this evening, I simply wanted to sleep. Instead of answering his question, not that I had an answer to begin with, I mumbled out a few words before snuggling into the pillow, hearing Jason chuckle lightly.

"Alright, go to sleep. I guess we probably won't see each other again anyway.  
But just in case, I'll leave you my phone number, alright?"

The words came to my ears, though no attention was given to them. A simple nod to a question I didn't understand shut him up, remembering to tell him something before I fell asleep.

"B-y the way, I'm Tom."

Letting out a light yawn after speaking, it made Jason smile softly.

"Sleep well, Tom."

His arms snaking around my waist and hugging me softly from behind. A familiar feeling, one that I've missed. It's not hard to guess what it reminds me of, though for the sake of letting Jason have his fun, I let my mind go blank and eventually fell asleep.


	6. Worried

None of this was new to me. Waking up alone in a hotel, a glass of water and aspirin on my nightstand. At least Jackson, or whatever his name was, was a gentleman. Next to the water, stood a small card. I carefully picked it up, taking the aspirin with a sip of water before reading what it said.

'Hey, Tom!  
Just wanted to tell you that I had a great night!  
You were amazing~  
If you ever want to get together again, here's my number!  
~Jason'

He wrote his phone number down under the note, a small heart drawn next to it. Although my memory of last night wasn't the best, I remember being barely satisfied by this guy. But then again, who knows? Maybe he was just drunk as fuck and didn't know how to go faster. It was anyone's guess, at least I thought so.

Taking a shower and getting dressed, I cleaned the room up a bit, slipping the note into my pocket, before eventually leaving the hotel. Thankfully, we didn't choose a hotel too far from my house, so I was able to walk there within half an hour. The sun blaring down, cars honking loudly on the streets around me, my headache was just getting worse by the second. I practically ran inside the house as soon as it was in view.

Once I closed the door, I let myself relax for a few seconds, chuckling at how quiet the house was. That was, of course, until I turned around, seeing Edd standing in the living room with his arms crossed. He held a scowl on his face, eyes narrowed and posture intimidating. I was screwed.

"Thomas Rigewill. Sit down right now."

Though his words alone weren't terrifying, his tone of voice made me sit in the armchair in a heartbeat. Hearing him let out a forceful sigh, Edd looked down at me. I could feel my body sinking into the seat as he did so.

"Where the hell were you last night?!"

Before I could speak, Edd cut me off.

"And while we're on the subject, where were you Wednesday night!? Or Sunday? Or the whole of last Friday?!"

A slight cringe tugged at my face, those were the nights I left to go out to a bar to get wasted. Friday was honestly spent with this guy who kept begging for another round, so I just stayed with him all day while we fucked my depression away.

"Listen, Edd. I know I haven't been around that much, but I'm not going to stop going out some nights. I've been on edge for a long time, and going to a bar calms my nerves. So can you please just understan-"

"So that's what you've been doing, huh? Going out to get drunk every night!? Keeping me worried while you go out there and waste our hard earned cash?! In case you haven't noticed, this place is falling apart! Matt keeps asking where you are at dinner, and I'm running out of things to tell him! Tord used to help pay for rent, but when he left, it's been a lot harder to keep up with it! We can hardly pay for a home, Tom! And instead of helping, YOU JUST FEED YOUR GODDAMN ALCOHOL PROBLEM!"

Everything was silent after Edd's outburst. He was right, it's been tough to get by around here, especially since the Commie took half the rent with him. A few minutes passed, it didn't feel right to speak up to my friend. He sighed sharply, calming down from his lecture, before finally cutting through the silence.

"Staring tomorrow, you're looking for a job. No more going out at night, no more drinking at the bar. You need to help us too, Tom. Not just yourself."

With that, Edd walked out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. A feeling of guilt crawled its way into my heart, my face sinking into my hands as I stayed put on the seat. I didn't know how much time had passed before Matt showed up, walking into the living room and giving me a cheerful smile and wave.

"Hey, Tom! It feels like forever since I've seen you!"

My hands sliding off my face, I gave the other a small wave back, chuckling lightly. Not a genuine chuckle, though I hoped my friend wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Of course, he did. Matt may be a narcissist, but he knew when his friends needed help.

"What's got you down, Tom? You look sad."

A slight shrug of the shoulders, words can't explain how I felt. What would I even say? That I feel bad for going out and having sex every night instead of helping with the rent? Pretty much leaving my friends to worry and wonder where I am at dinner, while I down another bottle of Smirnoff? No, I would never say something so absurd to anyone, especially not Matt. He shouldn't have to deal with my issues. Nor should Edd.

"It's nothing."

Matt looked unconvinced, which was understandable. Two words aren't very convincing. An exaggerated sigh left my lips, my legs dangling off the chair once more while I slumped back.

"Edd wants me to find a job tomorrow. I mean, I get why he says that. I really need to help with the rent... I have no idea where I should get a job."

Humming in though, Matt sat down on the couch, rubbing his chin while looking who knows where in the room. Eventually, he snapped out of it, looking at me with a wide smile on his face.

"You can always play your guitar to earn money! I heard the coffee shop wants some entertainment for their customers!"

On the outside, it looked like I was smiling in support. Of course, I was internally facepalming and giving Matt an expression of annoyance.

"Matt, I play the bass. There's a difference. Also, I don't think playing relaxing songs for a few people a day would get me enough money. I need something better."

Smile turning to an upset frown, Matt sighed. He shrugged his shoulders, going quiet for an uncomfortable amount of time. Honestly, I wondered if he was still breathing.

"Well, where do you normally go?"

A small pause on my part, it took me a while to understand what Matt was getting at.

"The bar."

The day went by quickly, my answer still stuck in my head as I walked down the familiar road I usually do. Every shop looks the same, their neon signs buzzing, despite it being the middle of the day. Of course, the sky was usually cloudy, as today was no exception. It didn't take long for me to reach the building, some stairs with wooden railing leading up to the front door.

It was a cozy place, lights hanging from the ceiling, seeming to look old-fashioned, like dangling oil lamps. The atmosphere in there was warm, chairs and tables set out to give everyone the appropriate amount of space, while making do with what little area they have to use. The bar itself swerved around in a horseshoe shape, stools set every half-meter apart. It was mostly a non-smoking area, though there was a small part in the back designed for cigarette use. I've never gone there, though. Drinking is enough for me.

The shelves behind the bar were covered in bottles, ranging from big to small, red to blue, mild to strong. There was a time I tried the most exotic drinks here, though I usually just stick to my vodka and occasionally some shots.

By this point, I was a regular customer, meaning every bartender that worked there knew my name. As I sat myself down on the plump, red stool, I was greeted by the friendly face of the worker I knew best of all.

"Hey, Eric!"

A light chuckle leaving his lips, he always seemed to smile when I saw him. It made me happy to know he enjoys his job.

"Hello, hello! What's a wild Thomas doing here so early in the day? Did that anime guy force you out of the house again?"

It was my turn to chuckle, that brought back memories. Most of the time, Tord was blasting his hentai so loud that I had no choice but to leave before my ears started bleeding. Thank god that was over.  
Either way, I shook my head with a smile.

"No, he's been gone for a while now. But anyway, for once, I'm not here to get drunk off my ass!"

He gasped out of shock, playfully staring at me with wide eyes. It made me roll my own, smiling at his cliche acts.

"Who are you and what have you done with the real Tom?!"

We both chuckled, it was hard to keep down a smile when I was around my friend. Though eventually, he settled down, asking why I was here.

"Edd told me I need to get a job, so this place was the first on my list to check. I just need some extra money to help pay for rent. You think you can help me out?"

Eric picked up a glass, humming slightly as he looked around for a bit.

"Well, we aren't really looking for anyone at the moment, but that doesn't mean we're not happy to have an extra set of hands on a rag and mop!"

My face dropped, a glare present in my eyes. Eric picked up on my expression, laughing whole-heartedly and shaking his head.

"Ah, don't worry, Tom. I'll have a talk with the boss about getting you a place at the bar. You'll need a license to mix drinks, but you can help wipe the bar down, dry some glasses, and get customers some salted peanuts and chips."

My glare stayed on the man in front of me, watching him snicker as he walked through a small door in the back.

"Just give me a few minutes!"

A small huff leaving my lips, Eric walked through the door, leaving me sitting alone at the bar. I looked around, finally noticing how empty the pub was. Sure, it was the middle of the day and most people would be at work, but I never expected to be the only one here at any time. Unless I was the last to leave, of course.

The clock on the wall made an unbearable noise with every second that went by, muffled sounds from the outside ringing in my ears. There wasn't much left to do but just sit down and wait for the manager to come out, if he even says yes. Thankfully, I'm on pretty good terms with the manager, having chatted with him a few times and shared a bottle with him at one point.

Minutes passed, I sighed. It would look bad to check my phone while waiting for a possible job offer, but then again, who knows how long it would take for them to get done?  
Taking a quick peek, my phone turned on with the lock screen shining brightly under the bar counter. With no new messages to check, I got caught up looking at the picture as my wallpaper.

It was taken a few years back, the four of us all on a Ferris wheel making silly faces. Edd, Matt, Tord, and me. I was next to Tord in that photo, and although Edd and Matt had no idea, I knew he was holding me around my waist. His hand was covered by the bar in the picture, though the light blush on my cheeks while I was sticking my tongue out at the camera reminded me of snuggling with the other some nights.

A thought popped into my head. A question.

'Is he coming back for me?'

Maybe if he did, I could escape the reality I'm living in. I could get out of the glass bottle I was trapped in, drinking my sorrow away instead of keeping up with what really matters. Who really matters.   
My friends had been let down by me so often, memories of happier times like the Ferris wheel photo seeming more and more distant. I just wish it could be like it was a year ago. When Tord was still with us and my drinking was kept to a minimal. Not to mention, I never woke up with a stranger I hardly remember when I was with Tord. Those scars I've gotten from our usual fights were now cherished marks of good times. What if he never comes? What if I'm forced to wait out my life while satisfying myself to a minimal amount, drinking my sanity away with every bottle?

Those thoughts all started from looking at Tord's smiling face in the photo. I missed his hand on my waist.

Hearing the door open again, I was quick to put my phone away, seeing Eric walk out with the manager. He gave me a kind smile, offering me a place to sit in a booth. We sat opposite each other, Eric going back to drying some more glasses.

"So, Tom! Eric tells me you'd like to work here. Mind expanding on that thought?"

Clearing my throat nervously, I explained everything that Edd had told me, as well as already being familiar with this place for a long time and knowing how it's run. After a few minutes of debating with himself, the manager gave me a smile, accompanied by a light chuckle.

"Well, I suppose we could let you deal out a few drinks, as long as you don't mix them. You'd need a license, and I'm not sure where you could get that from. Sorry, it's the best I can offer you."

Hearing the offer made me perk up with a smile, grinning from ear to ear.

"That sounds awesome! When do I start? What will my shifts be? What should I know? How much is the pay? Will I need to work on the weekends?"

The manager stopped my waterfall of questions, laughing along with Eric, who was watching from the counter.

"There will be plenty of time for us to answer those questions. I think I should show you the room in the back first, alright? It's where you'll find me most of the time."

With a vigorous nod, we stood up, walking around the counter and through the door to go into the back room.

Maybe I don't need Tord to come back. I can do this on my own.


	7. Work

After having worked the same job for two months, I found no joy in anything I was doing. The only reason I was doing this, was so Edd would be happy and I could help pay for rent. It worked, though with every passing hour, I felt my frown grow more prominent. Wiping down tables and pouring the same drinks constantly was never something I'd planned on doing in my twenties. 

For years, Edd had been kind enough to share his earning with Matt and me, giving us the chance to buy whatever we wanted, like my beautiful Smirnoff. Due to not having to stress about paying for rent as much, we'd been able to spend more money, though mine's been sitting in my wallet the whole time. I wasn't allowed to go out anymore and drink, meaning there was hardly anything I wanted to spend my money on. 

A glass smashing on the floor caught my attention, I turned to see a drunk man waving a half broken bottle at a crowd of people. Eric walked up to the group, immediately being threatened by the drunk. 

"ALL OF YOU STAY THE FUCK BACK! I'LL CUT YOU! JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"

People took a few steps back, wanting to get away from the madman in front of them. I walked up to the crowd, standing beside Eric with furrowed brows. He looked deep in thought, not moving, even as the man with the broken bottle waved it towards the two of us. 

The man looked scared. Drunk, crazy, and scared. He started panting, eyes wide as he dropped the bottle. I jumped back, seeing the glass splatter as it collided with the ground. Not a moment later, the man fell to his knees, being sent into a coughing fit while gasping for air. My eyes wide with fear and panic, I was frozen on the spot.   
Thank God Eric wasn't.

He took immediate action, kicking the glass bottle away and kneeling down beside the man. It was difficult to see anything, the man sheltered by Eric's body from my angle.

"Someone call an ambulance!"

People whipped out their phones, dialing three numbers while the rest watched the man in horror, some people running or turning away.

Not ten minutes passed, before a loud siren was heard, the white truck parking hastily in front of the bar, blue lights flickering constantly.   
Everything was a blur, watching the man be placed on a stretcher and carried into the vehicle, seeing my friend talk to the professionals about the events that took place.

People constantly chatting away, the noise becoming unbearable at some point. Though, as soon as Eric stepped into the bar again, the ambulance driving away with the man inside, the room became much quieter.

A sigh cut through the silence, Eric pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. Without another word to the spectators, he walked to me, pulling me into the back room by my arm.  
The door closed, he looked at me with a frown.

"My guess is, he was either way too drunk, or he had a heart attack. Or some other thing I can't think of. I don't know! I'm not a fucking doctor!"

He looked shaken up. Then again, who wouldn't be? Silence rang through the room, he eventually let out a small, hiccup-like noise. Only then did I see the light lines of water leaving his eyes, running down his cheeks to decorate his face.

"Th-ey sai-d they c-ouldn't fee-l a pulse..."

A slight hit to the heart, it must've been difficult to see a man possibly die in front of you. My arms slung around his body, hugging him softly as he cried on my shoulder. It took a few minutes for his sobbing and sniffling to stop, though when it did, he hugged slightly tighter.

"If it's alright with you, I'd like to end my shift early. Are you alright to run this place by yourself for the rest of the night...?"

Still hugging my friend, I thought about the question. It wasn't long until the bar would close, maybe an hour or two. From this point on, most of the customers would be quiet men in their 30s, wanting to forget their troubles and talk about how much of a bitch their girlfriend is. Pour a beer for them, clean the place up, it wasn't too much for Eric to ask. Not to mention, I wouldn't want him working in this condition, anyway.

"Of course, Eric. Go home, clear your mind, get some rest. I'll close this place up in around an hour."

He pulled away from the hug, looking me in the eyes with a sad, but genuine smile.

"Thanks, Tom. Feel free to come in later tomorrow."

I nodded softly, smiling as my friend set everything up for me before leaving. It was the first time running the bar alone for a night, though I knew everything I needed to for the job. Eric came to me once more and patted my back.

"See you tomorrow, Tom. Don't burn this place down while I'm gone."

A light chuckle left my lips.

"No promises!"

Eric smiled at me once more before exiting the bar. I found myself sighing, looking around the room at the few customers that stayed. After the incident, some people had left, probably being too shaken up to stay and finish their drinks. Some others sat down again, straying far from the broken glass on the floor. Picking up the necessary cleaning supplies, I made my way to the broken glass and spilled fluids, getting on my knees to clean everything up. The glass swept into the dustpan, alcohol mopped up with a rag, it was a pain to get everything cleaned up quickly enough before having to man the bar again. 

A few customers came and went, no one staying there too late into the night. Nearing 1am, I started doing the regular clean up routine around the bar, no new customers entering through the door. I was given a few tips from some familiar faces, the last person leaving shortly after the clock struck 1. Tables and chairs packed away, the bar wiped down until you could see your reflection in it. Everything was quiet, as I was alone.

Or at least, I thought so. Though, as I was just grabbing the keys to the door, a voice rang from behind me, making me yelp.

"Damn, I didn't hear a last call. I was hoping to get a little something before I hit the road."

That voice. That intoxicating, breathtaking voice. I've missed it so much, more than I'd care to admit. Turning around on the spot, my eyes widened with excitement, keys dropping from my hand as I quickly looked the familiar man in the eyes.

And slapped him.

"TORD! WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

Without letting him answer, I jumped on him, sending us both falling to the floor with a thud. My arms were laced around his neck, legs on either side of him, straddling his lap. Tears stung my eyes, so many emotions coming up at once as I hugged him tightly, burying my face into his shoulder.

"Wh-ere were you? Why haven't you called? And what the hell are you doing in a bar at 1am?"

Voice obviously less enraged, my words were soft and hesitantly spoken. His absence had left me missing him more than I ever thought I would. Nothing seemed good without him. Not sex, drinking, or hanging out with our other friends. Just seeing him was enough to give me hope for myself, not having to rely on alcohol to keep me happy. 

"I'll explain everything, Thomas. Just as soon as we sit down in a booth instead of on the floor."

A nervous chuckle leaving my lips, I untangled my arms from around his neck, getting up and helping him stand without falling over. We walked to a nearby booth, sitting across from each other and staring into one another's eyes.

"So lay it on me, Tord. Where did you go, why didn't we hear from you, why are you here at this time. Tell me everything."

A short sigh leaving his lips, Tord gave me a guilty look, awkwardly chuckling with a hint of nervousness.

(wow i hate this part of the story -_-)

"I guess I should start with why I left. A few months ago, I joined something called the 'Red Army'. Things were going pretty alright, I was going up the ranks much quicker than any ordinary soldier would, thanks to my parents. They work in one of the highest positions, so I just needed to go through the training to get to the top. Of course, I wasn't able to contact you guys, because of military secrets or something. Sorry I couldn't tell you guys about this."

His words lingered in my brain, I processed them bit by bit. It was a lot to take in at once, learning that your sex buddy went to work for a fucking army without saying anything about it. With a nod to show I understood, I awaited the rest of his explanation.

"The training honestly went very quickly. When I found out about an open position at the top, I of course did my best to get there. It took a lot of effort, but I made it there. The absolute top of the ranks. I took my place as Red Leader."

Hold up. Now there was a phrase that sounded familiar. A few memories rang in my mind, news reports talking about some leader being spotted around town, clips of destroyed buildings shown on the screen. I never paid much attention to them, thinking they were someone else's problem. Or I was just too drunk to give a shit at the time. Though now, learning that the news reporters were talking about Tord, I stayed completely still in my seat, wanting to know what else the other had to say.

"After a few weeks, I got used to my new position as the leader of an army. I got my own section of the base, my room is close to my office, it's nice! Not to mention, my parents work very closely to me at times, so it's always sweet to hear how proud they are of me. But despite having it all pretty good, I keep thinking back to my time with Edd and Matt. The fun times we've made silly puns together or debated about cola vs pepsi. And I miss those times."

His voice saddened, a noticeable frown painted on his lips. It made me look down at the table, feeling the need to keep my head low.

"But I miss my time with you most, Tom. Even though we tried to kill each other sometimes, it was still fun to spend my time with you. And when Edd and Matt were gone, those nights together were some of the best I've ever had. I miss hearing your moans and feeling your body shiver under me. Nights with you were amazing."

A heavy blush dusted my cheeks, I didn't dare look up to see the soft smirk on the man's lips. He laughed lightly at my flustered state before continuing.

"The thing is, since I became a leader, it's been hard to have some time to myself. I'm constantly busy, work somehow keeps piling up, and eventually I find myself awake at 4am, trying to get a form filled out that could've waited until a few days in advance. Not to mention, I'm constantly bickering with other leaders in meetings about the stupidest stuff, which just makes me lose my shit as soon as it ends.

The point is, I need someone to keep me in check. Someone who will tell me to come to bed and snap me out of wanting to finish work set for the next week. And I need some sort of stress relief for all of this. It's not enough to hit the gym sometimes or jack off to some hentai I've read every night for the past week. I need someone real, who can be there to relieve my stress after a long day of work, as well as care about my well-being and stand up to me when I need them to.

Plainly put, I need you, Tom. I have an open position for a secretary in my army, meaning you'll be by my side pretty much all the time."

Tord looked up at me with a slightly red face, his rant about the stress he's under making it clear that he really needs some satisfaction. He was right. Who better than me to help him?

I stayed still for minutes, processing everything to piece together the information Tord had dropped on me. His face grew from embarrassed and ashamed to an expression of concern.

"Are you ok, Thomas?"

My head shaking to get out of my trance, I gave him an awkward smile and small laugh.

"Uhm, yeah. Sorry, I'm still thinking this over..."

What will happen if I say yes? I'll leave Edd and Matt to join the army, being by Tord's side every second of every day? What will happen to my friends? If I leave, they'll be worried sick! Plus, how will they pay for rent if I don't help them out with it?   
Maybe if I get paid for working for the army, I could somehow get the money to them. Maybe add a note to tell them what's been happening in my life. They'd have so many questions. I have so many questions! 

I was getting a little hot, my face was sweating and I felt a little dizzy. So many thoughts, so many feelings, I didn't know what I was supposed to say or do. What does it mean to work as a secretary to begin with?

A warm hand on my shoulder snapped me out of my clouding thoughts, I gazed up to see a worried Tord look me in the eyes. Those beautiful, silver eyes. They got all of my attention in a second.

"Don't stress yourself out about this, Tom. You don't have to decide now, you can tell me whenever you make your decision. I'll be in town for a few weeks, or until you tell me yes or no. 

But I could tell by the way you froze during the old man's collapse, that you're afraid to see something like that again here. Some people get too drunk, you know it might happen again if you stay here. Plus, I never thought of you as the cleaning type.

You don't have to stay here if you don't want to, Tom. I'm giving you a chance to leave. A chance for me to keep my promise. I promised I'd come back for you, Tom.  
I'm back. 

I'm back for you."

Our eyes staring deep into each other, his alluring words made it difficult to saying anything but yes to him, but I knew I'd have to think this over alone some other day. He was giving me a chance to get away from being stuck in this loop, this cycle of spending my days doing what Edd wants me to do, staying away from what he doesn't want me to have. 

A change was more than desired from me, and Tord was offering that. 

But after such a stressful and emotional day for me, there was no way I would talk about business with the man in front of me. I just got him back after over a year, feelings of lust and desire coming back to me, as I've needed to stay sex-free for two months. 

Perfect opportunity to get what I've missed for too long. And I was more than positive Tord wanted it just as badly as I did.

"So you said you've been hitting the gym a lot?"


	8. Again

Screams and moans of pleasure filled the room, accompanied by the unmistakable sound of skin slapping in a rhythm. Tord had my arms pinned over my head, legs on either side of him as he thrusted quickly and harshly, biting his lip so much it was bruised.

"O-OH MY G-OD I MI-SSED TH-IS-"

More incoherent, broken moans left my shivering lips, soon occupied by Tord's mouth, his tongue reaching down my throat to claim it all for himself. A few seconds went by, we pulled away. I was panting heavier than I had for a year. His pace quickened to the point where I rolled by eyes back, screams ringing throughout the hotel bedroom as I came, back arching and body shaking. Tears slipped out of my clenched eyes, nerves in my body tingling as the pleasure coursed through me. Mumbles left my lips, even I didn't know what I was saying. With some last thrusts, Tord sent his seed shooting inside of me, filling me to the point where I could only moan at the warm feeling. He rode out his orgasm, eventually flopping on top of me in exhaustion. 

We shared the same breath, panting in time with each other and murmuring quietly about how amazing that was. He eventually pulled out of me, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling with a red face. My eyes shut softly, breath still heavy, though gradually going down to the point where I could hear Tord's pants as well, instead of only hearing mine. 

"Th-ank you. I rea-lly needed tha-t."

My eyes opened slightly to meet Tord's, who wore a soft smile on his lips, one that I returned. Around us was silence for a few minutes, spare for the heavy breathing from both of us. Though, it felt nice to be next to this man again. For the first time in too long, I felt complete. 

Those nights spent with strangers, intoxicated and confused, it was all a cover up to hide my sorrow. Plainly put, without Tord, I couldn't keep myself together. Not even masturbating could feel as good as Tord's touch, making me whine and whimper with every kiss he planted on my body. A year he'd been gone, a year I'd been trying to fill the void.  
All of that made me remember the reason he came back. He came to find me, asking me to be by his side every day for God knows how long.

I wouldn't have to rely on alcohol and one night stands to make me feel less empty. I wouldn't have to live by Edd's rules, watch as drunken customers stumble out of the bar, sometimes in the hands of people they barely know. It hurt seeing something like that when I worked, but I suppose I understood. They were chasing that high feeling they were missing. So was I.

"I haven't felt this good in forever."

A light chuckle left the other's lips, my lips curling into a knowing smile.

"Tell me about it. You're pretty much the only guy who can make me moan louder than an anime girl."

Tord snickered, nodding lightly at my statement. A few shuffles towards him led for my head to lay on his chest, hearing his racing heart through his skin. He placed one hand on my shoulder, the touch feeling familiar and caring, much like other times he's held me in the past. This was the most caring and gentle touch out of every other that I'd received from strange men I met at the club. Tord's hand wasn't placed on my skin for sex. Well, not anymore.  
It was placed on my shoulder for comfort. Something no one had given me since he left.

"How're you doing?"

His voice soft, it made me snuggle up to him like a kitten.

"Much better than before. How are you?"

He lightly chuckled, snuggling closer to me and wrapping his other arm around my body.

"Same answer, heh. Work's been getting to my head too much. Thanks for helping me relax."

A nod of my head feeling like a snuggle, we both stayed quiet as we enjoyed each other's company like we used to. At least, when Edd and Matt weren't around. His heart beat slowly went back to its normal pace, our panting slowing down to regular breaths. The room was silent, our bare bodies exposed to the brisk air that crept in through a small crack in the window. It sending a light shiver down my spine, I snuggled closer to the other to get a little more warmth. 

Despite having had an intense sexual encounter and being awake at 3am, I was far from tired. Part of me believed this was all a dream, that I had gone so long without Tord's touch that I imagined him fucking me while I masturbated.

Another part of me never wanted to let go of Tord, scared he would pack up and leave after just having one night with me.  
And the last part of me...

That part of me was curious about if he missed me. If he just came back to ask me to sleep with him and be his stress reliever from work. Then again, that's what I always was, even before he left. He doesn't care about me. I don't care about him. We're just people having sex sometimes. What's so wrong with that?  
It doesn't mean anything.

So why am I thinking this?

Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask-

"Hey, Tord?"

Stop talking. Don't look him in the eyes. What are you doing, you idiot? Do you really want to hear his answer?

"Yeah?"

You're going to be disappointed in any answer he gives. Don't ask. Just don't ask, Tom. 

"Does this mean anything?"

You idiot. Can't you see the way he's looking at you? Like some alien who just landed in his back yard. Looking around, nervous to answer the question. Why did you have to ask? Why are you such an idiot.

"Well... of course it does. You help me relax again. Like, if you took the job, we'd be doing this a few times a week without having to be cautious. Not to mention, you'd be relieving a lot of pent up stress I've been getting from work. That goes a long way, being the leader of an army."

I pulled away, my head no longer on his chest as I laid beside him. Turning on my side, facing away from him, I let me soft frown overtake my lips. 

"Right. I'm just a source for stress relief. I mean, you're the same for me, so I guess it's a good thing, right?"

My question wasn't really asked towards Tord. It was more of me trying to convince myself that I was telling the truth. Tord was just there to relieve my stress, just like all of those other men at bars were. 

If I took the job, that would mean not having to wait for anyone to leave before being touched again. It would mean having Tord to myself, maybe sometimes tell him to come to bed and snuggle with me.  
Would we sleep in the same bed?  
Would he want to have sex every night? I know how much of a workaholic he can be, so I would probably have to pull him away from his desk sometimes.

Though, if I took the job, that would mean leaving Edd and Matt behind. Although Edd acts like a mom towards me, telling me to clean up, be safe, act mature, I still love him like a brother. Matt, too. We may not have had a close connection, but he's still a trustworthy friend to have, one I'd never been without.  
Leaving them would mean leaving everything back that I'd grown up with.  
The house we'd lived in since we were in college. The people who I'd grown to love like family.

They'd all be left behind, Tord and an army of strangers taking their place.

Then again, it would mean leaving the job at the bar, which sounded like a sweet deal no matter what. Plus, being a secretary and secretly sleeping with an army leader sounds like it could be exciting.

The thoughts of sneaking around the base at night with Tord, feeling him pinning my arms to the wall while telling me to be quiet made my heart start racing faster.

Excitement.  
Lust.  
Pleasure.  
I'd get to feel all of this again.  
All with the same man who'd given me countless memories and sleepless nights, all full of feelings no one else had ever given me.

Is it worth leaving my life behind to start a new one?  
Am I really chasing sex and lust instead of staying with my closest friends?

My mind was busy as I thought about the situation, trying to put some logical sense into this. Mind over heart, or heart over mind? Morals versus principals. Was there a right or wrong here? It was all up to me, unanswered questions making me slightly panic.

Until I felt a pair of lips press against mine, the action bringing me out of my thoughts and back to reality. Tord had his eyes closed, a hand placed on my hip as his lips moved softly with mine.

The kiss was gentle and caring, it was clear Tord was trying to calm me down. It worked.  
It always works.  
His lips got me to forget my worries in a manner of seconds, feelings of fear and worry melting away at his touch. After a few blissful minutes, Tord pulled away, leaving me panting and breathless.

We gazed into each other's eyes for a while, I had lost track of time by then. His half lidded eyes and the soft smirk that pulled at his lips got my face to heat up again, making Tord chuckle.

"Hey, don't think that's gonna be a regular thing between us. I'm still saving my kisses for whoever I fall in love with. You just looked like you needed one."

Oh, right. He didn't kiss me for any reason other than to calm me down.  
Way to make my anxiety shoot through the roof again.

Though, it wasn't like I could blame him. We started off being enemies, always fighting and yelling at each other, while Edd and Matt tried their best to stop us through their blurry eyes. It worked to some extent, though now we purposefully have to act cruel to each other.

The only problem was, when Tord and I started doing this, those feelings of hate for him gradually slipped away, leaving me to act overly spiteful towards him to cover up the fact that I honestly enjoyed his company.

Then again, he would always act cold and distant after a session. Well, sometimes. He'd kick me out, tease me, tell me it was nice to fuck me again. Sure, lust could drive me to spend my nights with him, though was that really what I need?ed  
Lust? Covered up by hatred and lies?

"We should probably go to sleep. You need rest, princess."

Tord giggled lightly, pulling the blankets over us and laying on his back after turning the lights out.  
That made me glare at him through the darkness.

There are times where he's a real gentleman who makes me feel cared for. He makes me cry and scream in pleasure like no other, almost bringing me to beg for his touch.

Then, there are other times like this one. Where he's just an asshole.  
Giving me a kiss before telling me it was a one time thing, teasing me, ending the night abruptly, then not even cuddling with me in the darkness.

Why does he make it hard for me? I don't know what to feel about him sometimes. Imagine how that would be like every day at work. Knowing you're just a source of this man's pleasure, though also knowing he'd go crazy without you

Knowing he's just waiting for someone permanent, while being aware that he came back to town just for you.

He came back for me.  
I've been waiting for him.  
I've been waiting for this lovable asshole for so long.  
Look at what happened while he was gone.

I didn't want to go through that again, even if that meant just being there at a source of stress relief.  
Though, under one condition.

"If you snuggle me, I'll accept the job."

A pair of arms wrapped around me faster than I even thought possible, making me giggle softly as I cuddled into Tord's bare chest.


	9. Talk

Thinking of what to tell my friends, I felt dizzy. A part of me hated myself for saying yes to Tord, though what else could I do? Turning down the offer meant staying here for who knows how long, going through the same cycle every day. Following the same rules I've had since I was a child, constantly hearing the same topics come up over dinner.  
I needed a change, and Tord was offering just that, along with many benefits.

Edd and Matt stared curiously at me, their heads tilted to the side lightly. They sat on the couch, myself being seated in the sofa chair next to them, wondering what my next words should be.

"Tom, what's going on?"

"Yeah, why are we on the couch?"

A large gulp, followed by a few more moments of silence. My mind was full of confusing thoughts, each one contradicting the last. Tord's words playing again in my head, making me wish I'd practiced what to tell my friends first.

'I don't want them to know I'm back, Thomas. They can't know anything about the Red Army, meaning I'll have to trust you to make something up for your reason on leaving.'

With a sigh, my thoughts raced, breath unsteady as I looked up to see Edd stand, his face unamused.

"If you don't have anything to tell us, I'm just gonna leave. We have better thing to do, T-"

"I'm leaving."

Edd's cola can dropped to the floor, creating a messy puddle on the carpet. That'll be a bitch to clean up, but that wasn't the issue at the moment. He stared me in the eyes, his wide and shocked. Everything was silent, frozen, as if time had stopped. After minutes, the sound of Edd sitting back on the couch was heard, him bending over to pick up his mostly empty cola can from the ground. He set it on the coffee table before looking at me again, his face neutral and blank.

"Explain."

Matt's face wasn't cheerful anymore, it was clear he was confused and hurt. Of course, it was to be expected. After Tord left, things weren't the same around here. Even Matt seemed gloomier, though the reason still eludes me. Maybe it had something to do with losing a friend we'd all had since childhood. Sure, Tord and I fought often in front of them, though I knew he was well befriended with Edd and Matt. They cared for him. It pained me to do this to them as well, but I had to.   
I have the right to be happy, too. 

Though, a problem came up as Edd asked. There was no lie I could think up on the spot to explain everything. Where will I go? Why am I leaving? Would we be able to stay in touch? Nothing but the truth could answer these questions, but seeing their blank yet hurt faces, I knew I had to say something.

"I'm sorry to suddenly bring this on you, but I don't know how else to tell you this. It's something I've been hiding for a long time, but I can't tell you why."

Edd raised a brow, Matt looking confused as well. Understandable, as even I wasn't sure if this was convincing at all.

"What can't you tell us?"

A few seconds passed, nothing but a soft sigh leaving my lips was to be heard. Only one thought came to mind, one idea that could convince my friends to let me go without a fight. They cared about my well-being and happiness, meaning they'd understand what I'm trying to tell them. Well, I hoped they would. 

"I've fallen in love."

Their eyes widened, not just in shock, but also in surprise, as I was never one to fall in love. I wasn't, though they didn't know that. Thinking I should keep explaining, I continued.

"It was a few months ago, I met... them at a club. We talked, laughed, spent some time together and all. I realized I started feeling something for them. Something new, but I knew it was good. It didn't take too long for us to confess to each other, eventually going so far as to spending nights with each other."

Edd furrowed his brows in thought, probably remembering the nights I didn't come home, now thinking I was with someone I fell in love with. Too bad it was a lie. I'd take love over meaningless sex any day. 

"A few weeks ago, they got a job offer in another part of England. Since we don't want to split apart from each other, they asked me to come with them. Seeing as how it's the first time I've ever been truly in love, I don't want to leave them when they move away. S-o I've decided to go with them."

A heavy silence fell across the room, my friends all looking at nothing in particular, seeming deep in thought.

"Why haven't we heard about this person? Or even met them, for that matter? Who are they?"

That had me frozen, there was no way I could tell the truth here after everything I said. If I told them they have already met my supposed 'lover', they wouldn't leave me alone until finding out who it was.   
My eyes darted around the room, I was thankful that they couldn't see where I was looking.

"W-ell, it's a guy. Not just that, but he's a uh... criminal."

I might as well dig my own grave by now. Edd jumped up, eyes wide and full of worry, opening his mouth in a rush, though I beat him to it.

"BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING-"

My voice was raised, obviously gaining Edd's obedience and letting me speak, him sitting down on the couch again. 

"Yes, I know being in love with a criminal isn't good, but there isn't anything I can do about it. I can't help that I'm in love, and I can't help that he doesn't have the cleanest record! Sure, he's done some shit things in the past, but it doesn't change who he is now! He's sweet and caring, when he wants to be. He might be a little rough around the edges, but I love him. And he.. loves me."

Why was it so easy to talk about this? Lying never came so naturally to me. It was like I was speaking the truth, although none of this was right. Sure, I was leaving with Tord after getting a good job offer, him having gotten one as well. He's leading an army, wanted signs of him hanging around the streets, though I never noticed them until I walked home from the hotel this morning. 

But I was lying about everything. Tord and I weren't in love; far from it. If anything, I would think of him as an annoying asshole who's good in bed, having nothing to do with love. Sex isn't love. Sex is pleasure. And I was going with Tord for pleasure, as well as some other things. Ergo, I wasn't going with Tord for love.

So, why am I talking like I am? I'm making my lover up, but some part of me keeps bringing Tord to my thoughts. It was probably just the guilt talking. This was the first time I was straight-up lying to them. It was bound to make me feel unsteady and wrong. Everything about this was wrong. But my motive felt so right. No chance to go back now.

"He can't be seen, nor does he want to be out in the open. At least, not in London. So, I'm..."

Maybe I could add some truth to this whole thing. Make it seem less like an excuse.

"I'm sorry. Edd, Matt. I'm sorry I haven't been around, sorry I would go out for nights, sometimes days at a time. Sorry I didn't tell you about my secret relationship, sorry I never introduced them as such. I'm sorry I'm an alcoholic, sorry I'm moving away, sorry I'm choosing someone else over you, sorry I'm quitting my job, sorry I-"

Arms laced around me, only now did I realize the tears dripping onto my hoodie. Edd and Matt held me tightly, their eyes welled up and watery, our arms holding each other tightly in a comforting manner. A few sniffles here and there, my eyes closed softly, heart heavy and full of dread. I felt Edd nod, even though no one asked a question.

"I-t's alright, Tom..."

My eyes opened once more, the hug being split up slowly, blurry vision focusing on my two best friends. Matt's eyes were puffy and red, though he still smiled with a tilt of his head, as he usually does when he's being genuinely happy or friendly. Edd looked like a mess, though smiled as well, his lips wobbling a bit as he did so. The sight of their tears stained cheeks made my heart ache even more, taking each of my friend's hands and holding them caringly.

"It's ok, Tom. We understand."

Matt's voice was soft and gentle, Edd looked like he was holding back sobs. Tord never got this reaction, then again, he was always a little more distant than us. Plus, I was going after him, meaning Edd and Matt already went through the pain of losing a friend. Now they're losing another. 

"W-e just wan-t you to be ha-ppy. S-orry if I w-as too con-trolling.."

Edd looked away shamefully, my reaction being a slight squeeze of his hand to get his attention back on me. My lips formed a smile of appreciation, as no matter how annoying he may have been when he complained about me, I knew it was all for my safety and well-being. 

"Th-ank you for ev-erything, you guys. I promise I'll still help pay the bills, a-nd I'll write to you whenever I can!"

The two nodded, sad smiles still on their faces, glimmering tears decorating their cheeks. We pulled together for another hug, feeling happy in each other's embrace. It felt good to do this. Apologize, tell them the somewhat truth, even if a few details were strewn around like snow. The basic part of it was true, the rest being mere variations of the truth. 

We spent the rest of the night in the living room, all three of us chatting and laughing on the couch, reminiscing about our fun adventures. Thankfully, Tord gave me another few days to stay with them, telling me to pack and have fun with the guys, just as he would've preferred to do. He told me to have the fun memories he didn't get to have, seeing as how he had to leave so early.  
Too early.

But despite the laughs and smiles, there was always an underlying sadness. One none of us addressed, apart from when they'd ask me about my 'secret lover'. Mostly just gossip, like if he's hot or just has a great personality. All I could say was, he was an annoying asshole that I need in my life.

And that was completely true.


	10. Present

Matt's words hurt, almost as much as the tears built up in his eyes. Yet somehow, he smiled cheerfully, his cheeks rosy and teeth showing through his parted lips. His arms snaked around me, mine doing the same as a small sob left his mouth. I ran soft, soothing circles into his back, feeling a few, light tears staining my hoodie. His, too. 

Edd ran out of the house, carrying a present the size of a shoe box. He had gone back inside before I would leave, wanting to give me something as a farewell gift, much like with Tord. 

Hearing a soft cheer, we turned to see Edd running towards us, the present on the ground for safety. Before I knew it, I was knocked to the ground, Edd and Matt on top of me, giving me the biggest and warmest hug I'd ever received. Giggles filled our ears, all three of us laughing together, hugging each other in a clump of limbs and smiles. 

After a few minutes, the laughter died down, the three of us enjoying the hug with warm smiles. Standing upright once again, tears wiped away by our sleeves, all three of us took a moment to smile at each other once again. 

"We'll keep in touch! A-nd I'll always remember to send something on your birthdays!"

A few soft chuckles left their lips, they gave me one last, warm hug, me melting into the touch. They really are irreplaceable. My childhood friends, always there for me when I needed them to be. All in all, they helped me grow as a person, being the people I would count on to support me. Even if that hadn't happened for a year, they were always there for me in the past. Those memories will never leave my mind.

"Ooh, Tom! Matt and I put a little something together for you!"

Edd picked up the box from the ground, handing it to me while Matt squealed. My eyes lifted happily, smile widening even more at the shimmering, blue wrapping paper, decorated in tiny stars and paw prints. They were probably left by Ringo, a little reminder of the small feline that somehow managed to sneak into my room and cuddle with me from time to time. I'd miss her, too.

"Thank you so much..."

More tears welled up in my eyes, taking the box from my friend's hands. I prepared to open it, though Edd and Matt placed their hands on top of mine, gaining my attention. Their faces were solemn, lips curled up to a gentle smile, stopping me from going any further.

"Open it when you're missing us, Tom."

My eyes blurry from tears, I gave a small nod, smile still wide, yet faltering with every second. Nothing had ever made my heart feel so pressed before, not even when Tord left. This was different, yet it was right. 

"I gu-ess I should open it now, then. I miss you al-ready!"

We all shared a soft chuckle, the three of us having puffy eyes from crying. Letting out a sigh, my chest started feeling less tight. They understood. They knew why I was going. Maybe not the full story, but they knew the most important part of the it.  
I needed to follow my heart, and my heart was leading me to follow Tord. I didn't know what would be waiting for me when I got in the car, windows tinted to hide the man sitting inside, probably watching us with a sad smile. Tord was waiting for me, I knew his lips were quivering as he looked at us. But, I understood why he couldn't come out and say hello. Too many questions, too much to explain, it wouldn't work.

"I love you guys."

Edd and Matt gave me their cheery smiles, cheeks pink and teeth peeking through. Their smiles always made me feel ok. Plus, I was sure this wouldn't be for forever. We'd meet again, one of these days.

"Talk to you soon, Tom!"

Matt gave me a thumbs up, a small wink going along with his determined face. Edd was giving me a small nod, showing me he accepted my choice. It made me give them a brave expression, a small smirk tugging at my lips.

"Talk to you soon."

Slowly, reluctantly, I walked away from them, getting into the car full of my belongings. The present was placed next to me on the dashboard, I buckled myself in before looking at my friends through the window. They were waving at me, an action I returned to show them I was going to be alright.

"You ready to go, Jehovah?"

With a soft chuckle, my tears wiped away with my hoodie sleeve, I gave an affirmative answer, feeling the car start to drive away. My eyes never left the sight of my friends, Edd and Matt hugging each other while waving at me with the biggest smiles they could muster. Once out of sight, I turned back to the front, seeing the car drive down the familiar street, one I'll never forget when I think about my old neighbourhood. Trees speeding by, cars going past us, as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on. 

To my right, gave a glance at Tord, seeing him try his best to keep himself together, probably having been reminded of how sad his own farewell was. Because I didn't feel like being mean at this time, I placed my hand on top of his, him giving me a small glance and a smile of appreciation. 

Things were quiet for a long time, the car ride being around 4 hours to get from the old house to wherever we were going. Tord was mostly silent, spare for a few times we played boring road games. I leaned my arm against the window, watching everything pass by without much happening. 

"Where are we going again?"

Tord gave a small chuckle, smirking slightly, as he knew this must've been the tenth time I'd asked. It's not my fault, though. He never answered!

"Alright, we're going to an airport of sorts. It's used only for the Red Army, and we're going to go in a private jet to the base in Norway."

That made my eyes widen. My mouth went dry, I took a few seconds to process what Tord had just said to me. 

"...NORWAY?!"

He chuckled at my panic, finding it funny that he dropped a bomb of information on me that I never even heard of before signing up for this.

"Yep, Norway. The actual Red Army base is there, so being the leader of it all, that's where we work from. I'll need to sign you up for training, as well as get someone to give you a tour around the place. I'll also be teaching you everything you need to know about being my secretary, and showing you to your room. So, there's a lot to do when we get there."

So much to take in all at once. I'd never given the actual job much thought, only thinking I would be there to tell Tord to go to bed and be his personal stress reliever. But actually having a real job at a base seemed a little scary to think about. 

"Ok, now I have a few questions."

Tord chuckled lightly, giving me a nod to tell me to ask.

"What kind of training do you mean? And what kind of things will I have to do exactly? Anything I should know before we get there? What if we go to war?"

Tord sighed, looking at me with a light smirk. I swear, that look makes his entire face seem like he's trying too hard. So stupid.

"For starters, you'll be going through the regular training that everyone in the army goes through, like shooting, self defense, basic first aid, rules to follow, stuff like that. But don't worry! The training only goes for about a week if you do well. About your job, the main part would be to be there with me in meetings and write everything down, as well as speak up when you have something important during the meetings to say. On top of that, help out with paperwork, tell me my schedule, get me a cup of coffee from time to time."

His smirk widened, I cringed at the sight. He even looks like an asshole with that expression. So annoying.

"Ooh, a few key things to follow regarding our 'relationship'. You'll need to address me as Sir or Red Leader when we're not alone, or are in public. No one in the base but two soldiers know my real name, and I'd like to keep it that way. I don't want anyone finding out about our agreement either, ok? No telling people you're the leader's fuck buddy."

I rolled my eyes, letting out a fake whine.

"Aw, but I wanted everyone to judge me and think I'm a slut!"

Tord let out a playful scoff, looking at me with a face that screamed 'Punch me'.

"That's all pretty understandable stuff, right? And if we go to war, you won't be forced to go with. If anyone attacks, you'll get a secured path of escape with me, but that probably won't happen. Anything else you want to know?"

Thinking about everything Tord had told me, one last question was on my mind.

"I'll be getting paid, right?"

The Norwegian looked at me curiously, having answered this question a few nights ago. He gave me a nod, letting me continue with my questions.

"I'm going to give my money to Edd and Matt to help pay for rent, you already know about that. But how will I keep in touch with them? If I send them letters from an address in Norway, they'll have a shit ton of questions."

Tord hummed in thought, turning a corner with the car and going down a desolate street. No other cars in sight, I only now realized I hadn't seen another person for an hour. 

"Send it to an address in England, then have someone mail it to their house. They could send a letter back to the address, then mail it over to the base. It could take a few extra days, but at least they won't be confused."

A few silent minutes went by, my nodding died down, thoughts always leading back to my friends. Before long, a feeling of dread washed over me, my stomach beginning to churn. The memory of Edd and Matt crying in each other's arms as they looked at me came to my mind. 

My vision shifted from out of the window to the box still sitting on the dashboard. Debating in my mind whether I should open it or not, I leaned forward and pulled it onto my lap. I was planning on saving it for later, but Edd told me to open it when I missed them.  
I missed them so much. What better time than now to open it?

Taking off the wrapping paper, I decided to fold it up and keep it for later. Maybe I just felt bad for having Ringo's paws painted in order to leave the prints on the paper. As the lid was taken off, my eyes started watering again. There wasn't anything expensive or exotic in there; far from it.

A hand-held mirror from Matt, a few star stickers stuck around it, as well as a note saying 'To see your beautiful face'. That's quite a compliment, coming from the biggest narcissist I know. Along with the mirror, a cola key-chain was placed beside it, obviously being from Edd. It looked like a splash of paint was around a cola can, this one being the colour blue. I'd seen Edd have a similar one on his keys, his being a nice green.   
The biggest object in the box was a checkered cloth, Matt's and Edd's presents placed on top of it. I picked up the cloth, feeling something inside of it being covered up by the material. Uncovering it, I saw a familiar picture of all four of us, Edd and Matt smiling at the camera, while Tord and I glared at each other. The picture brought a smile to my lips, a chuckle leaving them along with a tear landing on the glass. 

Curiously, Tord looked over, out of the corner of my eye I could see a sad smile painted on his lips. He moved one hand off the steering wheel to hold mine again, the action warm and comforting. It just made me feel like I wasn't making a mistake.

"Everything will be alright, Thomas. At least they won't step on your empty Smirnoff bottles anymore-"

I smacked the asshole over the head, getting a yelp and laugh as a response. Tord held his head while he drove, still smiling like the idiot he was. Somehow, it made me smile too, the both of us looking like morons as we continued on our way. 

Placing the gifts back into the box carefully, my eyes wandered to the window once again, seeing a strange gate in front of us, the car headed directly for it. A red symbol was painted on the top, one that I've seen before from the news reports, the words 'Red Army Landing Site, England' painted underneath it. Before driving into the secure gates, Tord stopped the car, my eyes darting towards him as he gave me a wide smirk.

"We're here!"


	11. Noise

Constant humming in the background, the plane's engine making a sound more aggravating than Matt complimenting himself in front of his mirror. Every tap Tord made with his phone made me grip my seat even more, every whisper spoken by the flight attendants sounding ever so loud. 

A small rattle from the plane made me yelp, the seat cover almost ripping from my tight grip. Trembling slightly, my eyes closed in fear of what might happen if I look out of the window. 

"Thomas?"

Tord's voice cut through the loud noises, the tapping on his phone having left the sea of sound seconds ago. Instead, I had to hear that bastard's annoying accent, even if it was full of concern. With a hand placed on my knee, Tord brought me to open my eyes, giving me a look of slight worry. Not that I could blame him, as I was trembling in my seat and sweating.

"Are you... afraid of flying?"

Gritting my teeth, I faced away from him, not wanting to see me vulnerable in an open area. Sure, in the bedroom it's a different story, but outside of that room, my dignity came first above all. He wasn't going to make me admit to my fears. I could beat this without him. 

My defiance to answer his question made Tord drop his concern, instead giving me a stern look of command.

"Tom, I'm trying to be nice here. It's painfully clear that you're scared. That's ok, you just have to distract yourself."

His words got me to snap my head at him, glaring into his eyes with a glint of anger.

"How the hell am I supposed to do that?! I can't sleep, the humming is driving me crazy, and we still have 50 minutes on this godforsaken machine!"

The Norwegian didn't seem fazed by my outburst, pressing a button on his seat with a blank expression. A moment later, one of the flight attendants I'd seen pass us walked up to Tord, greeting him in a foreign language. Tord spoke to her, his expression never faltering from his blank and stern one. The conversation lasted only a few seconds, the woman nodding before walking off.

"What was that about?"

I kept my eyes on the woman, seeing her go to a panel on a wall and press a series of buttons. My eyes widened as walls began to rise around our seats, trapping me with Tord in a somewhat cage. Though, the wall to the left of us had a door.

"Wh-at's goin-g on?!"

Tord didn't answer my question. As I turned back to him, I was frightened to see him right in front of me in his seat, giving me a sly smirk.

"These walls are padded to be soundproof, Thomas. No one can hear the sweet noises you'll make."

Still confused, I was taken aback when I felt Tord's hand slide up my thigh, immediately going to my crotch and palming me. My hand flew up to cover my mouth, eyes white and breath hitched. I could see that goddamn smirk growing as Tord moved his hand to the hem of my trousers. A dark chuckle left his lips, my head being thrown back slightly as he unzipped my pants, teasing me through my boxers.

"Wh-a-at i-f some-on-e co-ah~ com-es in-?"

God, I sounded so desperate. Maybe I was. Desperate for any kind of distraction from the fear I had from being on this goddamn plane. 

"They won't~"

My eyes narrowed at Tord, chest rising and falling quickly as I panted. I would've asked if he was sure, though the hand sneaking into my boxers and pulling my member out made whatever I had planned to say slip my mind. Either way, Tord seemed to get the message.

"You forget, Thomas. I'm the leader of this place. They have to answer to me, and if I tell them not to disturb me, they wouldn't dare do so."

All I could manage was a stiff nod as Tord played with my tip. His thumb tracing over the slit before running his fingers down my shaft. The action made me clench my eyes, hardly being able to keep my breath at a steady pace. Eventually, Tord wrapped his hand around my member, slowly pumping it up and down in a rhythm. Part of me hated how sensitive I was being, though the biggest part couldn't care about that, mind clouding with lewd thoughts and feelings. A small mewl left my mouth, some whines following right after as I arched my back.

Tord's pumping sped up, making me gasp and pull on the hand rests. Eyes shut tightly, my only focus was on the sensations in my lower area, nerves tingling as Tord kept up the action. He laughed lightly, teasingly running his other hand over the tip while he pumped. It all made my heart race, breath shudder, while my mouth opened and closed to mumble and whine without controlling my words. 

"You know, if you just whined like this all the time instead of being an annoying baby, you'd probably turn me on a hell of a lot quicker."

Through the pleasure and lust, I managed to glare at Tord. He bit his lip with a smirk, speeding up to a pace where I couldn't hold back from moaning. Every part of me hoped that Tord was telling the truth when he said the walls were soundproof, because if they weren't, I was sure everyone on the plane could hear my lewd noises.

My eyes rolled back in pleasure, drool slipping down my chin with a pleased smile on my face. Heat was pooling in my lower half, words coming out broken as a warning to the Norwegian. He nodded, still pumping as quickly as he could before his hand and some of his arm was covered in a creamy liquid, a loud moan sounding in the small room. Tord milked my dick to let out all of my cum before taking a few tissues with his spare hand and wiping everything off. 

I was panting, my hand covering my mouth while my eyes relaxed and opened slightly. Tord took his hand away, throwing the tissues he'd used into the trash before covering my member again and zipping my jeans up. He gave me a look of satisfaction, probably have a huge ego boost for making me moan loudly on a plane. 

Tord stood up, walking over to the door and looking back at me with a smirk. 

"Wh-y d-id you do th-at...?"

My words were broken, due to the shortness of breath that seemed like it would never go away.

"I told you, you just needed to distract yourself. The flight doesn't seem so long now, does it?~"

He walked through the door, leaving me alone in the soundproof room. His words stuck in my head, he was right. Thanks to his... help, the aggravating noises seemed much quieter than before. It was a skill I've only found in Tord, making me forget everything around me and gaining my attention in a heartbeat. It sometimes made me wonder why Tord wasn't in a real relationship with anyone. With his charm and skills, he could have any woman he desired.  
Or any man, for that matter.

Yet, here we were. Me, covering my mouth to help slow down my fast breathing to recover from an orgasm, while Tord was out, probably washing his hands from the liquid he milked out of me. He seemed to be taking his time, though. Probably jacking off in the bathroom with the thought of me making an ahegao face stuck in his head.

Goddamn pervert.

Just as I thought he got lost or something, Tord walked back into the room, giving me a smirk as he closed the door. I reacted by giving him a snarl, glaring daggers into his eyes with a noticeable frown. He let out a small chuckle, ruffling my hair before sitting down again.

"Hey, stop frowning at me. I did you a favour."

My frown turned into a scowl, hands folded over my chest in defiance.

"You know I only like doing that kind of stuff in the bedroom. Do you have any idea how embarrassing that would've been if someone came in?!"

All I got in return was an intimidating chuckle, seeing Tord give me a smirk that I'd never seen him use before. It made him look dominant and commanding, something I'd only partially seen in the bedroom. 

"You have so much to learn, Thomas. I've already told you, I'm in control of the entire army and every soldier who's a part of it. If I don't like someone or something, I get rid of it with a snap of my fingers. If someone breaks a rule I've set, steps out of line, even does something I don't want them to, they wish they'd never gone out of place to begin with. Everyone here respects me and my privacy. Only few people get the glory of telling me what to do.  
You should feel honoured that you're one of them, Thomas.

No one does anything I don't want. And if they do, no one heard from them ever again.

So don't worry, Thomas. As my closest worker, you'll be by my side with the same privileges that I have. No one will bother us, Tom.  
No one."

It scared me to see the chaotic expression on Tord's face as he spoke. He seemed different from the man I'd grown up with, the man I'd known to caress my skin and give me pleasure in ways I never even thought possible.

This man was more controlling. A perfectionist, possibly mad with power over an army of soldiers, all under his command.  
His words made me question if I truly made a mistake, now being bound to someone I suppose I never truly knew.

A lot must've happened in the time he was gone. The army changed him.   
It scared me.

Tord probably saw I was quiet, my eyes directed at a spot on the floor of the plane. I heard a sigh escape his lips, though it wasn't sharp like the tone he was using. It was soft, gentle and caring, three adjectives I least expected to use after hearing his speech about power.

A finger propping my chin up, Tord made me look him in the eyes, lips immediately occupied in a warm and tender kiss. His arms snaked around my waist, the action sudden and making me widen my eyes, a muffled yelp leaving my lips as he pulled me onto his lap.

We pulled away from the kiss, my hands on his shoulders and thighs straddling his lap. Tord laughed lightly, rubbing my hips softly while going under my shirt with his hands.

"Don't you worry, Tommy. You'll be treated differently by me than any other soldier. After all, you're the one who's going to do the most for me to begin with. You have a different set of rules to follow from the rest, I'll explain everything about that to you when we get to your room in the base. Your punishments would also be different, though. But don't worry."

That word made me go pale, trying to pull away from Tord's grip.

"W-ait, wait. Punishments?!"

Tord gave me a warm smile, unlike the menacing smirk he gave me two minutes ago. Damn, was he always this bipolar?

"Nothing as bad as punishments for my soldiers. You'll be getting a special punishment from me if you ever break any of the rules. Nothing that will kill you, though. I can't have my little darling out of my life! You're too important to me."

Were those words really sweet? He called me 'his little darling', told me I'd be treated differently, given special punishments if I ever stepped out of line. He wasn't being clear in the slightest, but he didn't give me time to ask about anything he meant. 

"Don't think about it, Thomas. It's really nothing bad, alright?"

All I could do was give a stifled nod before my lips were taken by Tord's again, his hands tracing around my back, softly and gently. 

"The plane is beginning its descent. Please fasten your seat belts and prepare for landing."

Tord pulled away from the kiss first, giving me another small peck, which made me giggle lightly. I sat back down in my seat, just in time to see the walls automatically sink back into the floor. 

The humming of the engine came back to my mind, the soft chatter from flight attendants and light tapping from Tord's phone. Though now, all I could do was look out of the window at the fluffy clouds, blocking those loud noises out of my mind.


	12. Smiles

Walking out of the plane after Tord, I was surprised to see every person there saluting, standing upright and giving Tord a look of obedience. Even without seeing his face, it was obvious he was enjoying this.

"At ease, soldiers!"

Everyone relaxed their pose, getting back to doing whatever they were up to before. Once at the bottom of the stairs, a woman in a blue uniform walked up to Tord, holding out a tablet for him to take.

"Welcome back, Red Leader. How was your stay in London?"

I walked next to him, seeing a soft smirk pull at his lips. 

"It was like a trip to the past, probably the last one I'll have for a while."

The woman smiled in a way that seemed much more informal than I thought would be appropriate. Somehow, seeing her give Tord the most flirtatious smile she could muster, which really just looked like a donkey opening its mouth, I felt a tinge of jealousy run through me. Her loss for not making a move on the leader. He was fucking me instead.

Once the woman noticed me, I was brought out of my thoughts, seeing her smile drop to an alien expression. 

"May I ask who this is, Sir?"

Before I could introduce myself, Tord spoke in a casual tone as he looked over a plan on the tablet.

"This is my new secretary, Thomas. He will be given access to every secure area of the base, and the room A02. I do hope it was refurbished while I was away."

Her face was priceless. Eyes wide, mouth hanging open, I could've sworn she went a little pale. Tord simply looked up, giving her a light smirk as he started walking, the two of us following behind.

"B-BUT SIR! YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE A RANDOM PERSON ONE OF THE HIGHEST POSITIONS IN THE ARMY!"

A chilling aura left Tord as he stopped, turning to face the girl with a threatening smile.

"Can't I? Last time I checked, there was no rule stating I cannot do so. It's my army, after all. So please, soldier. If you do not want to lose your rank after so much time and effort spent, refrain from taking authority here."

As he spoke, I could see his smile drop to a glare. It was like watching a children's toy morph into some kind of demonic nightmare. The woman stood upright, slightly sweating, looking like she was about to burst into tears.

"I apologize for speaking out of place, Red Leader. I didn't mean to challenge your authority."

Tord nodded, turning his back on her once again. Realizing it was my job to be next to him, I hurried after Tord, turning corner after corner while the girl stayed behind and frowned. It made me smirk lightly.

"So... where are we going?"

Every soldier that passed us gave a salute and a greeting to their leader. It seemed to make Tord stand taller, as if proud of getting the soldiers to address him as their superior. Tord always had a thing for being in charge. Probably why I was bottom in the first place.

Without getting an answer to my question, Tord eventually walked into a lobby, chairs spread out along the walls and three couches surrounding a coffee table in the middle. It was empty, seemingly cut off from the rest of the base. Everything seemed polished and new, a red stripe going along the off-white walls. 

The hallway split into two paths, a red stripe going along the right side, while a blue stripe went along the left. We went along the blue stripe, eventually coming to the end and standing in front of the door. Tord looked at me with a smirk, signalling me to open the door. Hesitantly, I walked closer, wrapping my fingers around the handle and twisting it.

My first thoughts were that a giant tentacle would shove its way down my pants while Tord watched with a smirk, but that wasn't the case. Far from it.

As I opened the door, I was met with the sight of a beautiful room, walls coloured a nice shade of dark blue, a checkered stripe going along them. Upon entering, a couch in front of a coffee table and TV were off to the right, a fresh plant standing in the corner of the room. The entire place was set up as just one room, the bed being to the left after going around a small corner. The bed sheets were checkered, carpet being a soft grey, and two extra rooms were off to both sides. To the right, a small kitchen, enough space in there to fit a sink, counter, fridge, and oven. By the bed, another room was placed, being a bedroom with a spacious shower among other things. 

I walked inside, mouth wide in astonishment and surprise. The door shut behind me, though I paid no attention to that as I slipped my shoes off and jumped on the bed with a giggle. I bounced a few times before the mattress stopped moving, letting me sit on it and admire the decorations around me.

"And? Do you like it?"

Tord sat on the blanket beside me, giving me another one of his usual smirks. A snort left my lips, eventually giggling while looking at Tord with a goofy grin.

"I LOVE IT! Is this mine?"

He nodded, giving me a close eyed smile, to which I let out an excited squeal.

"Yeah, I got everything styled the way I remember you liking it. But I have to admit, I never thought I'd hear you squeal over a room."

Through my giggling, I rolled my eyes, realizing it didn't look like anything to the other. Sitting up, I faced Tord with a goofy grin, giving him a soft hug for a few seconds.

"Thank you..."

As expected, he didn't hug back. He never does. Instead, Tord chuckled, whispering 'No problem' into my ear before I pulled away.

"Now that you've been shown to your room, I'll have to explain some things to you, so get comfy."

Raising a brow, I shuffled around, still sitting up to pay attention to what Tord would tell me.

"Alright, first of all, you already know not to call me by my name. If we're not alone, it's Red Leader or Sir to you."

With a huff, I hummed in agreement, already having gotten that through my head.

"Secondly, I've arranged for you to get special one-on-one training with my two best soldiers. The training will be a week long, starting tomorrow, and will go from 5am to 6pm."

I almost choked on pure air, letting out a surprised yelp.

"WHAT?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?! THAT'S WAY TOO LONG! AND FUCKING EARLY!"

Tord chuckled lowly, seeing me grip the bed sheets in anger and annoyance.

"Hey, being in the army, you should get used to waking up early. I'm always up at 4am and work until 8pm on a good day. Plus, the training isn't too bad. You'll just learn basic self defense tactics, shooting, and you'll get to know the layout of the base. Not to mention, you'll have a few breaks throughout the day."

Though the training sounded reasonable, I internally panicked. I was never one to be active or energized, especially in the morning. It felt like my life had turned on its head in one day, only now I realized how everything I'd ever known would drastically change. Tord saw my panic, my fear of messing up even slightly, like not getting up early enough. Even that could make me freak out.

"Don't worry, Thomas. If I didn't think you could do it, I wouldn't have brought you here to begin with."

He cupped my cheeks, his skin feeling warm and comforting. My eyes wandered up to meet his, a genuine smile on our faces as he leaned in for a kiss. It was still a strange feeling to have our lips touch without being intimate. He always said he only wanted to kiss a lover, yet he still kissed me when I needed it. 

Pulling away, Tord gave me a soft smile, one that made my cheeks slightly heat up with a light blush. Though, once he pulled away completely, I could feel him going back to his formal, distanced self.

"Anyway, after your training, you'll begin with work. We start at 5:30am, meeting each other in the cafeteria for breakfast. There, you and I will sit at a table reserved for only the two of us, where you'll give me a briefing on my schedule, updates, announcements, and we both eat breakfast."

A slight pout crept onto my lips, not liking the formal tone he was using. Either way, I paid attention, knowing this was important information that would make him annoyed if he had to repeat it. 

"We'll then follow the schedule throughout the day, go to meetings if I have any, fill out required paperwork, check up on the latest gadgets that are being made. I also usually go out to the training field to see if my soldiers are having difficulty with anything. Not every day is like that, but that is a typical schedule."

He paused, thinking about what else to add, before continuing again.

"At night, I usually spend a few hours with paperwork and eat in my office. Bed time is planned for 7pm, though lately I've been getting to sleep at around midnight and waking up way too late. I do hope you pull me out of that unhealthy routine..."

Tord looked over at me, my eyes caught looking into his own. He looked disappointed, not in me, but in himself. I knew how he felt. I'm usually disappointed when I wake up at 2pm, too. 

"Do you have any questions, Tom?"

A slight pause, I wasn't sure if it was right to ask. After all, he was telling me about the work part of me being here, as in just being his secretary. That is what I was, after all. Well, at least after the training. Though, I wanted to know. Hesitantly, I spoke up.

"What about us being..."

My words trailed off, voice going noticeably quieter as I took my gave from Tord's eyes. He hummed, though eventually caught on to what I was referring to.

"Oh. Well, I'm not quite sure about us being intimate yet. I guess, when we both need it, we do it?"

Looking up at Tord, I let out a light giggle. Seeing his softly tinted cheeks made me smile, knowing even someone as uptight as Tord could still get embarrassed about something as common as sex. He gave me a playful glare, pouting slightly as he looked away.

"Aww! Ok, how about this. Whenever you're stressed or lose your temper, which is honestly pretty often from what I've seen, I help you calm down, if you know what I mean. Because, come on. I didn't join your army for a job."

He looked back at me, humming softly. A light smirk playing on my lips, it was obvious he was thinking that to begin with. Either way, I was the one who said it.

"Sounds fair."

With that, my smirk widened, leaning back on the bed while Tord stood up and looked back at me. 

"I'll leave you to getting settled into your new room. Your uniform and other clothes have already been placed into your drawers and closet. If you need to contact me, my bedroom and office are down the red hall. My office is the door on the left. You have the rest of the day off, though you'll need to get up early tomorrow, so I suggest you rest and relax today while you have the chance."

Tord placed a tablet on the edge of my bed, looking at me with a light smile.

"You can see my schedule on there, as well as yours for the next week. More information is on there if you have any questions."

He began walking towards the door, a wall blocking my view of him leaving, though he poked his head back to look at me one last time.

"See you tomorrow, Jehovah!"

With a light giggle and a wave, I answered him.

"See ya, Commie!"

Hearing the door shut softly, I sighed, looking up at my ceiling with a light smirk. He should've asked me what I meant by saying I'd help him calm down. I never said I wouldn't tease him. He probably messed up big time, letting me be so close to him. I wasn't afraid of pressing my foot against his crotch under the table again.


	13. Training

Staring at the broken pieces of my alarm clock with a smirk, I was slightly surprised to hear a knock at my door. I would've checked the time, but my alarm wouldn't stop screaming in my ear for half an hour, so that option was out of the window.

Forgetting I was wearing nothing but my checkered boxers and stay safe shirt, I opened the door, seeing two men I'd never seen before, standing in front of me. One had a smile on his face, strange bangs on either side of his forehead that looked like chicken wings, while the other had eyebrows that took up half of his forehead. The two men had the same uniform as every other soldier I'd come across, wearing a red turtleneck underneath.

"Are you Thomas Rigewill?"

The smiling man spoke in a cheery voice, slightly creeping me out, though I responded. 

"Yes..?"

The chicken wing guy smiled brighter, the other man's face never changing from a stern expression.

"Great! I'm Patryk, and this is my associate, Paul! We'll be the ones training you for the next week!"

My eyes lit up as I remembered Tord telling me about the training, as well as his most trusted soldiers. These two had to be them.

"We waited for you to arrive at the training grounds for about twenty minutes, but you didn't show up."

"I guess now we see why."

Paul cut into Patryk's sentence, looking me over from head to toe with a displeased expression. They could probably tell that I'd basically just woken up. It made me look down a bit in shame.

"S-orry I didn't make it on time. I forgot all about why my alarm went off in the first place. It's just such a sudden change, you know?"

Patryk nodded with a soft smile. He seemed to be much more understanding than the other guy.

"It's absolutely fine, Thomas! You're not the first person to brutally throw your clock against the wall and scream at it."

My eyes went white, realizing how these two must've heard my tantrum through the door. Paul smirked, making me glare slightly at him. Patryk simply giggled, ending it with a sigh.

"Oh hush, it's quite alright. When we adopted Tord, we had to get used to waking up early in the morning to stop him from crying."

That sentence made me freeze, my mind racing to figure out what Patryk meant. Of course, it was obvious. It should've been obvious from the start.

"Wait, wait. Are you guys Tord's parents?"

Paul rolled his eyes, his regular scowl returning to his face.

"No, we're just creeps who broke into his bedroom every morning when he was a kid."

My glare burned through his head, his scowl only growing more intense.

"Yes, we're the men who raised the fine Red Leader. Don't underestimate us. We had to deal with teenage Tord, so we can handle anything."

That line made me snort a little. Just thinking about that brought back memories of Tord's edgy phase, the one we both went through together. He settled for dying his hair dark, while I only wore shirts with skulls on them for months. Good times.

"Anyway, now that the formalities are done with, get your ass in the shower and be ready for training in 10 minutes. If not, we'll come in and pull you to the training grounds ourselves."

There was a silence after Patryk spoke, followed by me yelling.

"WHAT?! 10 MINUTES? Please tell me you're joking!"

A sinister grin crawled onto his lips, a shake of his head going along with it. My eyes stayed wide open as I quickly slammed the door, running over to the closet and pulling out a uniform.  
Dark blue dress shirt with a black vest and pants. I didn't have time to admire it, so I just brought it with me as I ran into the bathroom.

After taking the quickest shower of my life, I got dressed, seeing that I still had around six minutes left. When I arrived at the door, panting from running around hectically in the last few minutes, I was met with the sight of Paul and Patryk staring at me with wide eyes, probably realizing my hair was done in literally 3 seconds. Chicken hair looked at his watch, giving me an impressed face, while bush brows just let out a quiet chuckle.

"You got done in 10 minutes, yet you left us outside to wait for you for 20-"

"YEAH, I GET IT, I WASN'T THINKING ABOUT YOU, BLAH BLAH, LET'S JUST FUCKING TRAIN ALREADY."

\----

"You've got good aim."

A shot rang through the range, a perfect bulls eye being hit. My hand was steady, eyes narrowed in concentration as I focused solely on firing the rifle.

"I'm honestly intimidated." 

The comment made me smirk, though I never strayed from my task. 

"It's pretty safe to say that you've aced this part of the training, Thomas."

Standing upright, a proud smile took over my lips, feeling pleased with what I had accomplished. Turning around, Patryk gave me a small clap and an excited grin, Paul finally letting up his scowl and smiling softly. 

"Great! So, what now? I already did the entire self defense course, and now I'm done with shooting."

The two men before me took their safety glasses off, I did the same and placed the gun back in its rightful place.

"Depends on you, Thomas. I'd say we're through with training today. We got through quicker than expected."

Another wave of pride ran through me, the three of us leaving the shooting range and making our way back to the main base.

"You could go see what Tord's up to, maybe grab a bite to eat in the cafeteria, or you could come with us to do a checkup in a few places around the base. Up to you."

I weighed my options, still unsure of what I should be doing. It would be nice to see Tord again, as I haven't done so at all today. After having a nice lunch not too long ago, I wasn't very hungry, and looking around at people working didn't sound like too much fun.

"I uh... I think I'll go see what Mr. Red is doing!"

The two soldiers chuckled lightly, nodding at my statement. They brought me to the familiar hallway, my eyes darting around to remember the outline of the base, at least from the training grounds to the hall.

"See you tomorrow, Thomas! Remember to get up on time tomorrow. We start with attack moves on the training grounds."

I gave them a nod, which was returned with a smile. They eventually walked away, chatting amongst themselves, while I pulled out the collapsed tablet out of my pocket. It was an interesting function Paul had shown me about the device. It was a tablet made with 'flexible glass', where the entire screen folds down into the size of the two metal rods on each end. It was small enough to put in my pocket, easy for transport, with no damage done to the device itself. 

Opening the screen, I tapped on the glass a few times, swiping to find Tord's schedule. He was scheduled to be doing paperwork for the rest of the day. I couldn't help but wonder what an army leader is even doing, filling out paper work for hours every day. Either way, I made my way down the hall, following the red stripe to the office door, and knocking on it.

"Wh-o is it?"

Tord's voice sounded slightly afraid. It was uncommon to hear him use such a tone. 

"Tom. I finished my training, can I come in?"

A small moment of shuffling, no words spoken from the man inside. Eventually, an affirmative grunt sounded through the door, it being opened by the twist of a handle. As it shut, I adjusted my eyes to a slightly dim light, seeing Tord sitting in his chair, a large book opened on his desk, with his hands underneath.

I tilted my head to the side, confused at Tord's strange position.

"Thomas...! Hi!"

He seemed nervous, looking down at his desk behind the book. His face was red, it was only now that I saw the bottom drawer from his desk open, as well as black fabric laying beside it.

"Are... you ok?"

A few steps taken towards him, walking to the side of the desk. I finally saw what Tord was doing, my eyes slightly widening at the sight of hentai behind the large book, and Tord gripping his member under the table. He didn't face me, meaning he couldn't see the growing smirk on my lips as I took a look inside the drawer, seeing a few more magazines as well as some bottles of lube. 

"Ooh, so this is why the Red Leader has to catch up on work every night?~"

A teasing giggle left my lips, pulling Tord's chair back to a decent distance from the table. Tord looked up at me, his eyes widening upon seeing my lustful grin, me biting my lip with a smirk, half lidded eyes staring right into his.

"T-om...?"

With a light giggle, I began to circle around him, my fingers tangling through his hair as I did so.

"Tordy, Tordy, Tordy. I thought you asked me here to help you with this sort of thing? You've only been back for one day, and you already need to relieve yourself? So desperate~"

He glared at me slightly, though his need for pleasure overwhelmed that.

"I didn't want to interrupt your training for this. People would get suspicious."

A soft giggle behind my free hand, I stopped in front of the red leader.

"Well, now that I'm here, do you wanna continue reading anime porn and pretend someone is touching you? Or would you rather have a real person do that?"

He opened his mouth, though closed it afterwards, looking away with furrowed brows. 

"Ride me."

My lips curled up into a smirk, pants swiftly kicked off my legs, along with my boxers. They hit the floor in a mere second, shirt and vest still hugging my chest, yet I couldn't be bothered taking them off. Tord looked up at me with an embarrassed face, making me aw and cup his cheeks. 

I slid onto Tord's lap, positioning his already lubed member at my entrance, moving my hands onto his shoulders, while his moved to my waist. As I began to lower myself, tears pricked the corner of my eyes, slightly regretting that I hadn't prepped myself first. Too late to go back. 

Once lowered completely, Tord let me adjust for a bit, despite him clearly needing to get some sort of friction on his dick. He bucked his hips slightly, making it harder for me to adjust.   
So goddamn needy.

"Stop moving! It'll take longer to adjust, fucking Commie."

He growled lightly, sending a small shiver down my spine. His lips were next to my ear, his accent and deep voice leaving me breathless. 

"I need you to move, Thomas. Or else I'll do it for you."

So commanding, so desperate. It was pretty clear that I wouldn't get to adjust fully, though I had already spent enough time waiting to at least get rid of some pain. Another growl left his throat, it made me slightly agitated.

"Oh, you want me to move? I'll fucking move, asshole."

With that, I lifted my ass until Tord's tip was still inside, then brought myself down quickly, a lewd moan coming from the both of us. Mine was mixed with some pain, though as I continued, it began to melt away. 

My pace was quick, breaths heavy and fast, while all I could do was bounce up and down, still glaring at Tord as I did so. His face was flushed red, a hand covering his mouth as he closed his eyes in pleasure. Lust taking over my anger, I moved purely for the sole purpose of relief, my entrance stretching with every bounce I did. My pace wasn't fast enough, so I tried my best to quicken my speed, pushing my hands onto Tord's shoulders and gripping his coat, while huffing and panting out of breath. 

Tord started pushing me down quicker, holding my hips to control my movements and speed. He bucked his hips with every bounce, thrusting into me while he bought my ass down onto his dick. I moaned with every thrust, drool slipping down my chin while my eyes could barely stay open. A certain heat pooled in my lower abdomen, breaths quick and heavy as I neared my climax.

"K-keep... a-lmo-st~"

"M-e.. t-oo."

His pants were heavy, he pushed me down even faster, getting sloppier with his thrusts. With a lewd moan, I came over my shirt, the feeling of Tord's cum shooting into my ass making me shiver. Tord rode his orgasm out as I went limp in his arms while shivering lightly from the pleasure. Eventually, he stopped moving, both of us exhausted and panting quickly.

"Th-anks..."

Tord managed to get those words out, before leaning back on his chair and closing his eyes, probably basking in the pleasure taking over his body.

"Don't me-ntion it."

We shared a soft smile, both of us tired and worn out. Looking down at my uniform, I cringed at the sight of cum sticking to my vest. Sighing, I shrugged it off, knowing my room was just down the hall.

"We should... I mean, you should get to bed. Me, too. But... in a uh... a different bed."

Wow, way to sound fucking awkward after having sex for the hundredth time. Maybe it was because I was so used to staying in Tord's bed afterwards, but I just wanted to be snuggled from behind after having a session with him. Though, I knew Tord wouldn't want that, so why ask him? 

"Yeah, we probably should. I was done with today's papers a while ago, to be honest."

I hummed as an answer, before lifting myself up, my legs slightly shaking as I stood. Some cum slid down as it leaked out of my entrance, the touch on my skin feeling warm yet uncomfortable. Tord looked at me with a tired smile, seeming blissful and relaxed.

While slipping my pants on again, and regretting that I would need to wash the uniform after just one day, I walked with slight difficulty over to Tord, planting a soft kiss on his lips, which he surprisingly returned. When I pulled away, we shared another exhausted smile, me ruffling his hair with a light chuckle.

"Good night, Commie."

A soft, sweet giggle left Tord's lips, honestly making me wonder if he's the same man as the feared Red Leader everyone bows to. 

"Sleep well, Jehovah."

I began to stumble my way towards the door, my thoughts stuck on the soft kiss we left on each other's lips. He hardly ever kissed me after sex, only if I insisted on it. This time, he let me touch his lips in a soft kiss, the feeling had made my heart flutter slightly. I wanted to do it again.

At the door, I stopped before opening it, keeping my fingers on the handle.

"I like..."

Starting a sentence without thinking, what did I want to say? My mouth stayed closed for a few moments, my brain going fuzzy as I simply let the words slip out of my mouth.

"...your lips."

The door opened, I shut it softly behind me as I made my way to my room.


	14. Sweet

"I won't lie, the results in Thomas's training are outstanding. He's shown improvement every day, I'd go so far as to say he's aced some of the areas we covered. His best results are in shooting. His aim is perfect and he holds the gun steadily. Self defense moves are pretty easy for him to learn, though his reaction time could use some improvement. That being said, he's really shown he's ready for personal attack. I'd say Tom's training was a success."

As Paul spoke, I couldn't help but stand with pride, my head tilted upwards while Tord looked over his tablet, reading the results Patryk had written down. Once Paul finished speaking, there was a slight pause, followed by Tord handing the tablet back and giving me a smile.

"You've done well, Thomas. Your training is officially over."

Sighing in relief, a smile made its way on my lips. The training was total shit, but at least it wasn't longer than a week. It was still hard to grasp the idea of fighting or shooting someone, especially since a week ago, all I did was lounge around in my boxers and drink as much Smirnoff as I could without throwing up. I'd say both accomplishments were impressive. 

"Thank you, sir."

Tord gave me a soft nod, looking back at his dad and clearing his throat.

"Your assistance is no longer required in this matter, Paul. Tell Patryk the two of you did a fine job."

A salute given to his son, Paul walked away with a smirk, humming to himself while Tord walked up to me. I looked up at him, giggling like an idiot.

"I'm glad that's over. Nothing against Pat or Paul, they're both awesome, but it was a little annoying hearing them flirt with each other while I'm trying to shoot a gun."

Chuckling lightly, Tord nodded at my words, the two of us making our way down into the leader section of the base. We followed the red stripe, walking into Tord's office through the door he held open for me.

"So, what now?"

I stood next to the oak desk, the last time I'd seen this was about a week ago after my first day of training. That was the last time I'd seen Tord, until today, at least. The leader sat down in his chair, huffing lightly as he looked at the small pile of papers sitting neatly in front of him.

"I'm not sure. You'll start your work officially tomorrow, so most of the time, you'll just be standing here while I fill out forms and go to meetings."

My eyes rolled and posture slouched at that description. 

"That's so boring, though! No wonder you need to fuck your anger out sometimes. I'd go crazy too if I had to keep writing the same fucking thing every minute."

Tord looked back at me with an unamused face. It just made me smirk and cross my arms over my chest.

"Your work hasn't started yet, so you really don't need to be here at this time. Especially if you're just going to belittle what I'm doing."

A light chuckle leaving my lips, the smirk still plastered on my face, I made my way to the door, shaking my hips seductively as I did so. 

"Alright, Red Leader. I guess I'll leave you to it. Try not to drop your pen or something. It must be difficult to hold for so long."

Tord snarled, glaring at me with a light red face. Another giggle left my lips as I closed the door, walking down the hallway and stopping at the lobby. Part of me wanted to go to my room, maybe watch some mind-numbing show and catch up on sleep. Though, another part of me wanted to explore the rest of the base, mostly check out some departments I hadn't seen in person before. Patryk and Paul showed me a holographic outline of the base, but it just wasn't the same as seeing everything for myself.

Soldiers passed me, most of them minding their own business and not noticing me at all. A few looked my way, getting a little wave from me, which most of them returned. A few people whispered to each other after seeing me, making me feel self conscious and out of place. Maybe walking around wasn't such a good idea. 

With a sigh, I passed the cafeteria, having grown accustomed to the layout of it. My stomach growled, though I had lost my appetite after my feeling of insecurity grew. Doors stood meters apart from each other in the hallways, it was hard to keep track of where I was. It wasn't long until I realized I was lost. Paul and Patryk didn't do a very good job at explaining the layout to me.

I turned around as I came to the end of a hallway, the numbers on the doors seeming very unfamiliar, not ringing any kind of bell about where I was. A sharp sigh left my lips, no one else was in sight. My legs carried me back down the corridors, though everything looked exactly the same. It was impossible to tell which way I had to go. Some soldiers came into view, though paid no mind to me as they passed. 

Growling lowly, my arms folded over my chest, it wasn't clear where I was going at this point. Nothing looked familiar. Everything was identical.  
How did people even find their way around here?! If Tord designed this layout, he did a pretty shitty job at it. Really, not even any signs hanging on the walls? Can't he fucking think about the new soldiers? 

"Tom?"

My name. My name was called by a voice I couldn't identify at first. It wasn't Tord, Paul, or Patryk. No, it was someone I'd almost forgotten.  
Almost.

"Jason?"

I was met face to face with my one night stand. A bright red blush covered my cheeks, breath hitching at the sight of the brown eyed man who'd taken me to bed so long ago. He seemed equally as shocked, a brow raised and mouth slightly agape.

"Wh-at are you doing here?"

He sounded nervous, almost scared that he'd seen me again. An awkward chuckle leaving my lips, my head turning lightly to the side.

"I'm trying to find my way back to my room-"

A light chuckle sounded from the man, he rolled his eyes with a slight smile.

"I mean, what are you doing in the army? I've never seen you here before."

Feeling slightly embarrassed, I mentally facepalmed, hating the fact that I was being so awkward around him. Why? It's just a guy who fucked me while I was drunk. Just another guy who gave me an ok time. Totally average guy. 

"Actually, I'm the Red Leader's new assistant."

He almost choked on pure air. Jason's eyes went wide, mouth hanging even more open. He stayed frozen in shock for an honestly scary amount of time.

"...You're the new secretary?"

Hesitant, slightly afraid, I didn't understand why Jason thought it was such a big deal. A light nod to respond to him, he looked at the floor with furrowed brows. Light humming left his throat as he thought for a bit, before looking at me with a smile. Seemed like a pretty weird face to make after getting what looked like the shock of his life. 

"Interesting... Well, I'm one of the ground soldiers. I've been here for a few months."

His words made me perk up, giving him a partially pleading look.

"Can you maybe help me find my room again? It's in the leader's section, and I'm really lost."

A light smile crept on his lips, he let out a soft chuckle, nodding at me. 

"Under one condition."

Pouting lightly, he giggled with a soft smirk. His left elbow bent, it made a hole big enough to stick your head into.

"You have to link arms with me the whole way there."

I folded my arms over my chest, sticking my tongue out at him playfully. It was a cute request, and Jason seemed like the kind of guy who was great in relationships. Though, I wasn't one to fall for a guy who picks up drunks at a club, no matter how flirtatious or charming he may be. After a few seconds, a smile crept onto my lips, chuckling at how stupid this was. 

"Do I have a choice?"

He shook his head with a wider smirk, making me roll my eyes, yet keep them half lidded with a playful smile. My arm linked with his as we started walking, it was clear he was feeling pretty smug. 

"So, why... or how did you become Red Leader's secretary?"

Once Jason asked that question, I practically froze. At least, I did in my head. My words were choked up in my throat, thoughts swarming around in my mind. What was I supposed to say? 'Your boss wanted a fuck buddy so now I'm here to give him a hand job when he asks for one.'

"We were old roommates. I guess he thought I'd be a good secretary, and asked me to join."

A light hum escaping his lips, Jason nodded as we walked. I tried to focus on the layout of the halls, remembering key places in case I ever got lost again. 

"So he just walked up to you and straight up asked you to join a dangerous army?"

I stopped walking, thinking for a bit, before giving the other a shrug with a light chuckle.

"Guess so."

He chuckled lightly, though it was clearly fake. Then again, hearing he'd be seeing his one night stand constantly would come as a slight surprise. Maybe a cause for panic, seeing as how I remembered everything despite being drunk off my ass.

"I've been meaning to ask..."

Jason's tone made it clear that he was hesitant to speak. He seemed like the nervous type, to be honest. Afraid of doing something embarrassing or stupid. Maybe he had already done so, seeing as how people were watching us out of the corner of their eyes.

"That night we had together. Are we gonna forget about that, or...?" 

He wore a crooked smile, it was hard to decipher. 

"I guess. It was just a one night stand."

My shoulders shrugging in a quick movement, my answer seemed to displease him. I raised my brow, curious as to what his expression meant.

"Why do you ask?"

A light sigh mixed with a chuckle, he looked me in the eyes as we continued walking, his cheeks seeming a light pink colour.

"No reason. You're right! It was just a one night stand."

He was clearly lying, though I couldn't tell if it was to me or to himself. I noticed the familiar surrounding, the cafeteria was just down the hall. That meant we were very close, yet I let Jason take me all the way back to my room. It felt nice to talk to him.

"Because I couldn't tell you in person, I just want to let you know. I had a really great night when we met. You're a really wonderful person, Tom. You're so beautiful."

Eyes widening at his lines, I hadn't expected to be complimented by him at all. It was something I wasn't very used to, in all honesty. He still seemed to have had a better night than me, but who cares? Jason seemed.. sweet. 

"Th-anks..."

He gave me a light nod, the two of us having reached the hallway that split off into a red and blue stripe. 

"And thanks for walking me back to my room. I think I'll refrain from exploring on my own."

A light chuckle, he nodded his head. I awkwardly scratched my arm, not sure of what to say or do at that point.

"If you ever need a tour guide, just look for me. I'm usually on the training grounds or in a lounge reading a book after work. Feel free to drop by."

Unsure of what to say, a hum of agreement left my lips. He smiled at me lightly, taking my hand and unexpectedly giving it a light peck.

"Until we meet again, Tom. Sleep well."

My cheeks heated up, incoherent mumbles leaving my lips, barely being able to wave as he walked away. For what felt like ten minutes, I stayed frozen in my spot, still surprised about everything that had happened, until a familiar voice snapped me out of it.

"Who was that?"

Turning my head to the left, I saw Tord standing in the middle of the hallway, dressed in a light grey shirt and loose pants. He folded his arms over his chest, a slightly angry look on his face. Either anger or some other emotion. It was hard to tell.

"None of your business, Commie."

My tone was sharp, coming across as cold and distant. It was clear he wanted me to explain, not wanting to have such a blank and open ended answer. With a heavy sigh, I knew he wouldn't let me walk away unless I told him.

"Just some guy I met at the bar a while back."

His expression turned to one of confusion, still not satisfied with what I was telling him.

"Ok? What's so special about him, then? You met at a bar, and now he's kissing your hand?"

Rolling my eyes, this conversation was annoying me.

"We fucked, ok? It was just a fucking one night stand, and now he's complimenting me and kissing my hand. Big deal. Good night."

I turned to walk away from Tord, hearing him call my name, though I paid no attention to it and continued going. I was stopped by an arm on my shoulder. With a growl, I turned around, being face to face with the Commie again. My mouth opened to ask him what the fuck he wanted, though he beat me to it.

"Don't run from me, Thomas. I was simply asking a question. I'd like to ask another."

With a huff, I let him speak, crossing my arms with a bored look on my face. I just wanted to go to bed and sleep without any drama. Why couldn't he let me do that?

"Would you like to sleep with me tonight? No intimacy, just snuggling."

He placed his arms behind his back, giving me personal space to fit his formal attitude. The question took me by surprise, not being used to staying over in Tord's bed, even after sex. He was usually so quick to kick me out, this was a rare opportunity to be close to him. Though it was strange for him to ask such a thing after being angry only moments ago, the question still had me slightly flustered. My frown let up, melting into a warm smile, going up to kiss his cheek.

"Sure, Tord."

His familiar, gentle smile overtook his face as he led me to his room. It stayed there while he watched me undress, leaving my boxers on. He did the same, climbing into bed while holding his arms out to me. I let a small giggle pass my lips, crawling under the covers beside him and letting his arms pull me into a warm embrace. Nothing felt better than him hugging me as I fell asleep, hearing soft heartbeat in his chest while he peppered light kisses on my head.


	15. Little Problem

Waking up in a cold bed is never fun. The sheets were shuffled around, barely covering my legs as they dangled off the edge of the mattress. Cool air breezed through an open window, making me shiver lightly. As I slowly fluttered my eyes open, I was met with the sight of Tord just leaving the bathroom, holding a towel in his hands and wearing nothing at all. His hair was dripping and wet, skin a light shade of pink from the heat. It immediately made me blush, wanting to close my eyes and pretend to sleep, though for the sake of seeing Tord's body, I kept them open. 

"Ah, you're awake."

He walked over to the drawer, placing his towel on top of it while searching through for something. My eyes stayed glued on his body, feeling myself heat up and snuggle under the covers in an attempt to hide. Tord turned around, facing me with a small smile. Though, upon seeing my flustered state, it turned into more of a smirk.

"Ooh, so early in the morning? I thought you'd have a little more self control instead of getting turned on by my dick."

A light frown painting over my lips, I glared at the other, hearing him let out a low chuckle. He set down the uniform he pulled out, walking over to me with an evergrowing smirk. In a heartbeat, he had my arms pinned to the mattress, face so close that his breath was hitting my neck. As he hovered over me, he began kissing my skin lightly, trailing from my neck to my jawline, leaving soft nibbles from time to time. His lips met mine, heat in my body growing stronger, soft moans dripping from my mouth as I bucked my hips. 

Tord shoved his tongue into my mouth without warning, though I didn't object. Our saliva mixed together, tongues danced around each other, my body craving his touch. I bucked my hips once more against his crotch, the fabric of my boxers rubbing against him, making me desperate for some sort of relief. 

Getting hot and bothered after just waking up wasn't my plan for the day, but Tord always found a way to change my entire schedule. 

When Tord pulled away from my lips, he paused for a bit, looking into my eyes with a gaze that seemed to be drunk on lust. Our noses touching each other, I panted against his mouth, wanting him to satisfy me in any possible way he can.

Instead, he got off of me, standing up and picking his uniform up again. I looked at him with confusion, though it soon turned to annoyance and aggravation when I saw his stupid smirk once more. 

"Too early, Tommy. We have to get ready for work. You need to take notes for a meeting soon."

He began to make his way to the bathroom again, but stopped before walking inside.

"You may want to take care of your little problem~"

When he was out of sight, I let out a sigh, looking down at my boxers. My half hard member was raised, precum making the fabric slightly wet. My head feeling heavy, it dropped back onto the pillow, letting out an annoyed growl. It's always annoying when he does this. 

Thanks to his little act, it took me half an hour to get ready for work, my hair wet from taking a long shower. Tord had already left for breakfast, that fact making me sigh as I fixed my vest. It was always so awkward going into the cafeteria alone. Everyone stared at me, some whispering to each other, others giving me a strange look. I suppose it's only fair, as no one really knew why I was there to begin with.

Stepping into the room, I could recognize a few soldiers who always sat at the same table. The woman from the hanger sat there, giving me a light glare when I walked past. Her straight, blonde hair and clear, blue eyes burned an image in my mind, that stupid smile she gave Tord was all I could see when I thought of her. I bet if she saw me and Tord this morning, she'd be bursting into tears.   
Good.

Tord sat at a table in the back of the cafeteria, Paul and Patryk sitting across from him. They welcomed me to sit next to the Red Leader, a tray of food already set out for me. Thanking them, I began to eat the omelette prepared for me. It was a little cold, though still edible. 

"So, Tom! Did you destroy your alarm clock again?"

I stopped eating and glared at Patryk, seeing an innocent smile on his face.

"Why do you ask?"

Tord chuckled lightly and ate, Paul paying no attention to the intense glaring I was giving his husband.

"Well, you're pretty late to breakfast again. It was my first guess. Any reason why you weren't on time today?"

Suddenly curious about my answer, Tord gave me a shit eating grin. I gave a look back that basically meant 'Go fuck yourself.'

"I guess I just didn't hear the alarm go off."

A fake smile plastered on my lips, Patryk seemed to buy my lie, going back to digging into his food. We ate in silence, the four of us listening to the loud banter around us. Being the leader of it all, I was sure Tord could shut everyone up in one minute, just by coughing. 

"Thomas, what's my schedule for today?"

Swallowing my spoonful of scrambled eggs, my tablet taken out of its holder and unfolded. I began to tap on the screen, scrolling through a few pages to get to today's plan.

"So, you have a meeting in half an hour, then paperwork planned for a few hours. You need to go to the labs and check on what the people there created. Supposedly a new weapon with a detachable barrel. That's basically it."

With a nod of the head, Tord finished his plate of food, looking at me with a light smile.

"Great! Then you'll be able to take notes for me in the meeting ."

A small pout painted on my lips, I'd almost forgotten about that detail. Taking notes sounded so boring, to be honest. I never even did that in school, and suddenly that's my job. Letting out a dramatic sigh, I grumbled under my breath and ate, Tord chuckling softly along with Paul and Patryk.

Unfortunately for me, half an hour went by incredibly slowly when Tord gave me a briefing on what kind of things I should note down. Mostly just basic stuff like "If they say anything suspicious, if they make threats, if they bring up any embarrassing moment of theirs."

Normal stuff.

For some reason, when the room filled with men wearing stern expressions and fancy uniforms, I began to grow slightly nervous. The reason to me was unclear. I wasn't afraid of messing up, seeing as how all I had to do was write shit down that dribbled out of their mouths. No, I was more afraid of gaining attention from the people who crowded around the table, men who I've never even seen before and could easily be judged by. 

Once the room was full and every seat was taken, Tord began to welcome them all to the meeting. Apparently, the other people in the room were just generals under his command, that had been stationed in different countries to overlook the progress being made there by the army. Despite being on the job, I quickly lost interest, barely writing any notes down while some old geezer droned on about some boring statistics. 

Soon enough, I began to tune everything out, thinking back to this morning. Tord's teasing still made me want to shove a pencil up his ass. Maybe tease him back while doing it, too. 

With a quick movement, I sneezed. Goddamn dust. To my surprise, none of the generals paid attention to me at all, not even a glance or a glare. Weird... It was loud as fuck. I awkwardly stood around, hearing another general start talking about the status of their weapons. I should probably write that do- and they stopped talking. Great.

Even Tord was bored. Slouched posture, fingers tapping on the table, face neutral. He always looked like that when he was losing interest rapidly. 

That gave me an idea.  
A naughty, dirty idea.   
Payback.

No one noticed when I sneezed, some of them probably didn't know I was there to begin with. No one noticed when I dropped my pen on the floor near the table. There was a spot large enough to crawl through. Right next to Tord's legs. The table was pretty high, made of thick wood. Getting on all fours, I still didn't get any weird looks as I crawled under the table to grab the pen. Nor did I hear any comments about it when I stayed under there for a few minutes. 

So, when I crawled in front of Tord's legs and began palming him through his pants, I could only imagine the confused looks on the generals' faces when Tord yelped. He immediately closed his legs, my snickering almost audible, though I kept it down. 

"Red Leader? Is everything alright?"

"Are you ok, sir? Your face is turning red..."

It was wonderful to hear such comments, knowing Tord was on the verge of being humiliated in front of so many people.   
Serves him right. 

"Y-yes I'm fi-ne... Plea-se continue."

He was so clearly trying to hold his embarrassment and anger in. He seemed tense. He needed to calm down.  
After all, that's what I'm here for, aren't I?

With him pressing his legs together, it was difficult to pry them apart, though I didn't let that stop me. Licking my lips, I went down and bit his leg, making him jolt. Quickly, my hand flew up to Tord's fly, pulling it open before he could even understand what was happening. Before he knew it, I was palming his member through his boxers, his legs trapping my hand there. His fault.

He'd brought a hand up to cover his mouth, I could imagine him looking at the table and rethinking his life choices. My fingers lightly stroked him, before they pulled at the hem of his boxers, bringing it down to let his half erect dick spring out at me. At this point, he stopped pressing his legs together, giving me the chance to put my body between them. 

I brought my face up to Tord's tip, smirking widely as I began to lick it, slowly pumping Tord's member as it grew harder. His leg jolted lightly, almost making me laugh. 

"Sir, are you really sure you're alright? Would you like to be taken to the doctor?"

No answer, Tord was probably busy thinking up a way to kick me out of the army. As funny as it was, if someone came over to Tord's side and saw me, we'd both be screwed. To try snapping him out of his daze, I bit down on his tip, making him yelp and sit upright.

"WHAT!? HUH?"

The room was silent for a few seconds, spare for Tord's heavy breathing.

"S-ir, you don't look well. Should we call a paramedic? ARE YOU HAVING A HEART ATTA-"

Tord slammed his hand on the table, making whoever was freaking out go quiet instantly. Maybe it was because I starting licking down his shaft that he let his frustration out, or that general was just plain annoying. Either one works.

"I AM FINE. CONTINUE THE MEETING. I'M NOT SCHEDULING ANOTHER ONE TO DO THE SAME SHIT AGAIN."

Oh boy, was he pissed. That tone always meant trouble for whoever got in his way. It surprised me how he wasn't trying to kill me with his foot under the table, seeing as how I was the one who put him in this situation. Though maybe, just maybe, he was actually enjoying this. 

We'd talked about kinks and turn ons before, I remembered one of his was being in risky situations. I'd say this was a pretty fucking risky position to be in, but who gives a shit? Part of me even wanted us to be found out.

"J-ust... get back to talking. We're continuing the meeting."

A general cleared his throat, starting to explain his situation in whatever place his stationed at. I wasn't paying attention. Instead, I started licking Tord's member up and down, covering it with saliva as I teasingly swirled my tongue around his tip, already tasting some precum. Quickly and silently, I dove down to take Tord's entire length in, letting it easily slide down my throat. No gag reflex meant no holding back. Tord's dick twitched in my mouth lightly as I pushed back up and down, spreading his legs his my hands to get full access. 

Thank god the table was tall, or else my head would be hitting it every time I came up. Tord let a small grunt slip, the general stopped talking for a second, before resuming again. I never stopped bobbing my head. My speed increased, one hand slipped down to grab Tord's balls, playing with them teasingly while I sucked Tord's hard on. 

His hands traveled to the edge of the table, gripping it lightly while I sped up once again. By now, my head was bobbing up and down at an insane pace, drool dripping down my chin and falling onto the floor. It was a miracle how my rapid breaths were kept so quiet. It was clear Tord was tensing his stomach up, trying to keep everything down that he wanted to let out. 

Tord's member twitched as I deepthroated him, a small whine going unnoticed in the room. My head bobbed rapidly, a puddle of drool on the ground. I didn't stop until I felt a creamy liquid shoot down my throat, accompanied by a low groan from Tord. I could see his muscles relaxing, his tense stomach going soft. Thank god the person talking didn't stop. It covered up enough noise to make Tord's light moan safely slip out.

Or he was giving a death glare to anyone to looked at him.

I swirled my tongue around a little more to clean Tord's liquids up completely, before pulling off slowly, so as to not make a sound. Teasingly giving Tord's tip one last, small lick, it was put back into his boxers neatly with his fly closed. 

"This concludes my report on the troops in the south section. Do you have any questions or anything to add?"

Tord readjusted his posture, sitting upright in his seat with his hands on top of the table.

"No, I think that will be all. Until next time, gentlemen."

Tord's voice no longer mixed with rage and impatience, it sounded much more calm than before. He stood up slowly, his lower half still mostly hidden by the table. After what I'd done, he was probably paranoid that I left a wet spot on his pants or something. All I could do was wait for Tord to finish shaking everyone's hand and watch the herd of generals leave the room. When it was empty, Tord slumped back into his seat, staying quiet until the door closed.

A sharp sigh left his lips, one hand brought up to rub the bridge of his nose. There was no way in hell I was coming up to stand next to him. He probably wanted to kiss me and strangle me at the same time. Ungrateful bitch. I mostly did him a favour.

"Thomas, you're going to get out from under that goddamn table. Then, you'll go to my room, sit on my bed, and wait for me there. Don't touch anything. Don't talk to anyone on your way there. You go straight to my room and do exactly what I say. If you don't, I can't promise your punishment won't be painful."

His voice...   
It sent shivers down my spine. When I crawled out from under the table, his eyes were closed, brows furrowed, with his fingers still pinching his nose.

"Yes, Sir..."

I had no idea why he wanted me in his room. Nor did I question it as I turned around and walked out the door, doing exactly as he said.


	16. Punishment

Minutes passed as I sat on Tord's bed, awkwardly shifting around as I waited. Tord seemed to be taking his time, as the room wasn't very far and it took less than two minutes to walk there. A light sigh left my lips, looking up at the ceiling with a bored expression. 

Why did Tord want me here? Was he really horny and wanted to fuck or something? 

The door finally opened after another couple of minutes, my attention directed towards the man whose face finally returned to a normal colour instead of bright red. Before I even opened my mouth, Tord placed a finger to his lips, looking at me with a threatening gaze. It shut out whatever I was going to say in an instant. 

He walked up to me, slowly and swiftly, until he stood towering over me with a blank expression. Going close to my ear, his hot breath sent a shiver down my spine.

"Do exactly as I say, Thomas."

His accent was thick and strong, a hand on my shoulder to make sure I wouldn't leave.

"You will strip all of your clothing off without a single word. Then, you will turn around with your face down and ass in the air. Don't talk unless I say so. Got it?"

My mouth slightly dry, I nodded, never breaking eye contact while he walked away with his hands behind his back. Watching me. Staring at me. Waiting for me to do what he said. Maybe it was the fact that Tord's eyes struck fear into my body, or the curiosity of what Tord would do overpowering me, but I found myself slipping my uniform off, piece by piece.

The vest came off first, my shirt unbuttoned and slipping off right after. I worked on my pants, unzipping my fly and pulling them off. Once left only in my boxers, a small moment of hesitation passed, my hands stuck between the thought of teasing the other and doing what he said. 

I pulled my boxers down, leaving my body bare for the fresh wind to slather across. Tord inspected me up and down, red and pink settling on my cheeks. Being naked in front of Tord left me feeling exposed, even if he'd seen every inch of me a million times before.

My nervousness only increased when Tord walked out of the room, coming back in with a wooden chair and a cream-white box. He placed the box on top of the seat, looking back up at me with an expressionless face.

"Turn around and bend over, Thomas."

A small nod towards him, I reluctantly turned around and crawled onto the bed, sticking my ass in the air while my head was faced downwards. The sound of the box lid taken off was heard, plastic being shuffled around as Tord sifted through it. The shuffling stopped, footsteps leading behind me rang through the room until I could feel Tord's cold hand caress my backside. 

"Here's a rule you should've known already. Do not embarrass me, or risk getting into that scenario. If you do, you will be punished."

A punishment. That's what he was doing. Teaching me not to do something like this again. Eh, how bad could the punishment be? It was obvious Tord liked getting a blow job in a meeting. Maybe he was just embarrassed for letting me do something so arousing. He was probably horny as fuck by now.

An immediate sharp pain erupted from my entrance as I felt Tord shove a dildo into my asshole. No lube, no prep, just shoving it into me. The pain was unbearable, tears pricking my eyes as a wail left my lips. Tord stopped pushing it in, letting me get used to it. Though, even after a few minutes, the pain hadn't gone away. It hadn't even lessened.

"Does it really hurt that much?"

I nodded as a tear slipped down my face, feeling Tord pull it out, yet keeping it close to my entrance. The sound of a bottle being squirted filled the room, chills going down my spine when a cold liquid was smeared over my hole. The dildo pressed into me again, pain still there, though it wasn't as bad as the last time. At least it wasn't going in dry.

"Consider yourself lucky this time around. If I were any more pissed, I would have forced this into you one way or another."

All I could do was nod, feeling the dildo continuously pressing into me. Holy shit, it was huge. Bigger than any of my toys I used to play with at home. My breath hitched as it grazed across my prostate, the movement of the toy finally coming to an end. Tord stood up, and I could feel him staring at me from behind.

"Stand up, and sit on the chair."

I did as I was told, trying my best to walk with this giant piece of plastic lodged into me. It was hard to miss the smirk covering Tord's douchey face. With a struggle, my ass was seated on the chair, gaining a nod of approval from Tord. 

He pulled some rope out of the box, my mouth going dry as he walked up to me and crouched down. I watched him tie my feet to the legs of the chair, not leaving much room for me to wiggle them around. It hurt, the dildo in my ass and my feet pressed against the chair left pain imprinted on my body. 

With a sigh, Tord pulled out a remote from his pocket, as well as holding my tablet. My arms were thankfully still free, so I was able to hold it as he handed the device to me. Tough, the reason why he gave me my tablet was still a mystery. 

"Usually I'd have you read me the notes you took from the meeting later, but I want to know how much information you wrote down. It can't be much, if you were under the table instead of writing."

I looked away, honestly a little proud of myself for getting Tord so riled up instead of listening to some old guys. Tord showed me the remote, giving me a shit eating grin.

"This remote is for that pretty, pink dildo in your ass. I control the vibration setting, while you read the notes you took out loud."

That didn't sound too bad. Giving me pleasure for doing something wrong? Sounds awesome. I gave Tord a nod, hiding a smirk behind my tablet as I thought it was a pretty sweet deal for me. 

"Start reading. I'll turn the vibrator on when I feel like it."

Swiping the screen to get to my notes, I began reading out what I'd picked up from hearing some random generals talk. Honestly? It was hardly anything. I only had three bullet points down, but hey, Tord asked for it.

"General white bearded Irish man says his troops are doing gr-AaH~"

A buzzing sounded through the room, the dildo had begun vibrating on the lowest setting. It wasn't too bad, it was actually a pretty good feeling. Some punishment.

"Keep going, Thomas. Don't let anything keep you from reading the notes out to me."

Lightly nodding, I continued with the sentence I'd written down.

"H-is troops are doing great, they're close to reaching their goal. I didn't write the goal down..."

My breath hitched lightly when Tord turned the setting up, the vibration a little stronger than before, but not by much.

"I expect you to write everything important down, Thomas. You're lucky that I already know the details of the goal. Continue talking."

A nod and soft moan towards him, I kept talking, just as Tord asked me to. 

"The south troops need to be restocked with food supplies, and general blue hair talked about a new plan for invading the enemy territory."

Once I finished talking, my eyes wandered up to meet Tord's, his brow raised in confusion.

"Where's the rest?"

Eyes darting to the side, the thought immediately settled in that it might've been a bad idea to hardly write anything down. Tord's expression alone could make a man fear for his life.

"...That's all I wrote."

As soon as those words slipped out, Tord cranked the setting way the fuck up, making me jolt in my seat and moan in pain and pleasure. Tears pricked my eyes, the feelings in my lower half making me squirm and writhe. My hand slipped down to my erect member, feeling the need to intensify the pleasure, though Tord immediately slapped my hands away. I glared at him through narrowed eyes, seeing a scowl on his lips as he came up close to my ear.

"This is setting 5. There are 10 settings on here, Thomas. Every setting is double the last one. Would you like me to push further?"

Rapidly shaking my head, my hands gripped the bottom of the chair, the dildo making me unintentionally moan while holding back the feelings of pleasure inside of me. 

"Then keep your hands away from there, and read me my schedule. Don't moan or whimper, and certainly don't cum unless I tell you to."

My breathing was heavy as I came to my senses, glaring at Tord with narrowed eyes. He was enjoying this, seeing me tied up and writhing in agony and pleasure. It was impossible for me to keep quiet under these conditions, his eyes burning into my skull when I didn't start reading.

"I GAVE YOU AN ORDER, THOMAS. KEEP QUIET."

My lower half still trembling, I kept myself together as I yelled back at him.

"Y-OU'RE ASKING TH-E IMP-OSSIBL-E!"

He smirked as he turned up the setting, an intense wave of pleasure coursing through me. I threw my head back and moaned loudly as I came, the creamy fluid squirting over my bare thighs and slightly onto my stomach. As the intense vibration continued, my pleasure started to wither away, pain coming into the foreground as Tord's face became stoic, though his eyes spoke for themselves. Narrowed and full of anger, a flame could be seen as I wrapped my hand around my member. He stomped towards me, pulling my hands behind my back and tying them to the chair as well. Whimpers left my lips as the dildo kept vibrating, tears beginning to gloss over my eyes.

Facing away from me, Tord turned the vibration up again, a scream erupting from my throat as I struggled against the rope. 

"I'll let you go once you've learned your lesson, Thomas."

Tears slid quickly down my cheeks, pleasure erupting in my body again as the vibrations continued. Incoherent mumbles and curses left my lips, Tord turning towards me again.

"You need to know the rules, Thomas. Rule one, do not disobey me."

I struggled to stay seated, my body spasming and limbs pulling against the ropes. A flicker of regret in Tord's eyes, though he clenched them shut and turned up the setting again. The wave of vibration flowed through my system, bringing me to yet another orgasm while my body shook. I cried out in pain and pleasure, the overstimulation feeling torturous. 

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

Shaking my head wildly to agree, broken screams and sobs left my lips. My body couldn't take much more of this.

"RULE NUMBER TWO. NEVER EMBARRASS ME OR BRING US INTO THAT SITUATION AGAIN."

Screams and sobs surrounded us, all I could feel in my body was pain. No trace of pleasure, nothing felt good about this anymore. 

"P-LEASE! PLEASE, I UND-ERSTAND! J-UST EN-D TH-IS!"

Pleads spewed from my mouth, sweat and tears dripping to the floor as Tord looked at me wide eyed. One last stern expression before he brought the remote up, turning it off after I came one final time. It felt forced, making me suffer in agony as my body collapsed against the chair, the vibrations finally ceasing.

Tord immediately ran to me, face white and full of concern. Not like I cared very much, seeing as how he was the one who caused this anyway. 

"Thomas! Are you alright? I-I'm sorry that it was so harsh-"

"OF COURSE I'M NOT ALRIGHT, YOu ass-"

My words got choked up as Tord untied me, body too weak to get away from him. I was shaking, weakly trying to escape his grip when Tord picked me up bridal style and laid me gently onto the bed. He undressed himself into only his boxers, though he didn't make any advances towards me. He simply pulled me closely and embraced my body, whispering softly into my ear and caressing my skin.

"I'm sorry, Tom. I'm so sorry. I went too far..."

All I could do was cry and snuggle close to him, exhausted and shivering from the numbing pain. Tord cleaned me with a towel on the nightstand, slipping me under the sheets while he held me, carding a hand through my hair soothingly.

"N-nev-er ag-ai-n."

Faint, hiccup-like sobs cut through my words, my voice soft and almost inaudible. A light sigh was heard, Tord's lips landing on my forehead in a sweet kiss.

"I can't promise you'll never get another punishment, Thomas. But I won't do this tactic again... You don't deserve it."

Silence for a bit, Tord's hand still sifting lightly through my hair, my head snuggling up to his chest while I closed my eyes.

"I j-ust wa-nt-ed to te-ase..."

Tord stopped his hand, looking down at me with our eyes meeting for a moment. His expression was full of guilt. He realized he'd made a mistake. I could understand why he would've been upset. Anyone could've seen the 'mighty Red Leader' getting a secret blow job from his secretary. Though, he knew he'd gone too far. My ass was aching more than ever before, which was saying a lot.

"I'm sorry, Tommy. I'll think of a different punishment if I need to..."

Too exhausted to reply, I simply tilted my head up to plant a kiss on the other's lips. Even if I was mad, all I wanted was to be comforted by Tord. He seemed to get the message, kissing me back softly while holding me in a soothing way. 

Caring, dare I say, loving and gentle. Tord hugged me as we planted soft kisses on each other, soft whispers spoken only for our ears to hear throughout the night.


	17. Dating

Last night was hell, obviously. Though being snuggled by Tord throughout the night was wonderful, I'd missed having such close contact with him like that. Skin on skin, heartbeat lulling me to sleep, his arms holding me softly in an embrace. We could rarely stay the night together in our old home, as Edd and Matt would hardly leave us alone in the house. 

After spending the night snuggling with Tord while the pain in my body simmered, I'd expected to wake up finding him hugging me softly. Instead, I woke up to a cold, empty bed; unfortunately nothing new to me. It had grown annoying and upsetting, as it was always wonderful to wake up to a smile and a wave of kisses.

A sigh, followed by silence. As my thoughts stopped clouding my head, I could hear some talking coming from the other side of the door, two familiar voices playing. One belonged to Tord, his accent and tone never one to be mistaken, and another either Paul or Patryk. It was difficult to decipher which voice belonged to whom, having not known them for very long.

I got out of bed, wrapping a thin sheet around my body as I moved closer to the door. Every step was horrible, pain aching in my body as I made it to the wall. I kept the door closed, not wanting to been seen by Tord's parents half naked, though I could hear them much better than before. Their words became clearer, Paul's voice prominent rather than that of his partner.

"In two months? Why not sooner?"

Paul's confusion was clear, one line bringing up countless questions. 

"I just came back, dad. Especially with Tom being here, I don't want to rush into anything. I want to enjoy my time before things get serious with the army."

There was a small pause, a sigh of exhaustion leaving the older's mouth. I pressed my ear against the wall, wanting to get an explanation of what they were talking about.

"Alright, Tord. But I do want to know, why did you bring him here? We know he's your old roommate, but you used to complain about him so often. He never had any experience with military operations, either. He'll be unprepared for any kind of attack, even with the training we gave him."

Military operations? Attack? Were they still talking about me? Those words clung to my brain like they were the last words I'll ever hear, though Tord's uncomfortable hum made me curious. 

"We-ll, I'd rather not.. tell you why he's here. I chose him for a reason. He's goal oriented and knows how to do his job if he puts his mind to it."

Paul snorted, an amused hum reaching my ears.

"Tord, Patty and I raised you since you were five. We know when you're hiding something."

Silence rang in, a huff pushing out of Tord's mouth. My thoughts were swarming as well, wondering what would happen if Tord told his father about our 'relationship.'  
What even were we? 

We weren't friends, but we were friends with benefits. We weren't in love, we didn't even like each other very much. We were the opposite. At least, outside of the bedroom. 

"Maybe I am hiding something, father. But I'm not sure Tom would appreciate me telling you why."

Part of me was curious about what would've happened if I went out and greeted Paul, dressed only in a thin sheet. The other part of me was afraid Paul wouldn't understand, going so far as to say our relationship was far from normal or acceptable, making me a laughing stock to an entire army of people I didn't know. Everyone watching me in the halls. Judging me for sleeping with their Leader. The word 'slut' came to mind, voices filling my head with vulgar language. Eyes staring at me, perverts looking my body up and down as I made out with Tord. Faces burned into my mind, hungry expressions of lust directed at me as Tord stripped me bare and sparked every nerve in my body-

"It's hard to explain, Paul. And it's a little embarrassing..."

A hardy laugh, followed by footsteps reaching the door from outside. Another voice joined the group, Patryk's huffing showing he was out of breath.

"Hey, guys. I can't find Tom anywhere."

He was looking for me? Why?   
Or more importantly, where had he looked? Everywhere but here? That narrows my location down tremendously. If they were smart enough, Tord's parents would've been able to deduct where I was in an instant. 

"Oh, really? We were just talking about him, actually."

Why wouldn't they change the subject to something else? I've hardly been one to want the spotlight on me for too long. Unless, of course, the attention was from Tord. 

"What about him?"

The door shut, footsteps leading to the couch in the living room area. Tord must've invited Patryk inside.

"Tord was about to tell me what he's hiding about Thomas."

I almost let a groan of annoyance slip my lips, wanting them to simply drop the subject. Would Tord lie to them, or would he tell the truth? Perhaps a lie was simpler to believe, but Tord hardly had the brains to think one up when he's nervous. Being put on the spot by people close to him was a way to pull the truth from him. Such a weak move, to be honest.

"Ooh! Finally, the truth comes out!"

An uncomfortable silence, the atmosphere in there must've been suffocating.

"Tordy, you can trust us! We're your parents. We'd never tell a soul."

But they would judge us. Think less of your son. Think less of me. They'd say we were disgusting, that we were just using each other. Tord's just a walking dick and I'm a giant asshole.  
Well, they weren't wrong. 

There was always another way to say these things, though. Bending the truth a little to keep other people's noses out of our business. It wasn't a lie, it wasn't a truth, either. 

"Fine. As long as you promise to never bring this up with anyone, especially not with Thomas, ok? And please don't think any less of him for any of this."

Tord took a deep breath, my hand rested on the door handle.

"Simply put, Tom and I are-"

"Dating."

I stood in the open doorway, hand holding the sheet covering my body up, while my face grew redder by the second. The three men all turned to face me, Tord seemed frozen in his seat, skin pale and expression showing shock. Paul and Patryk stared at me in surprise, though that soon melted away into excited and warm smiles.

"AHH! REALLY? MY BABY BOY'S GROWING UP!"

Patryk, playing a more motherly role, seemed very excited and energetic. Almost as if he was about to jump out of his seat. Paul smiled at me and chuckled, Tord looking embarrassed, as if he was trying to sink into the couch.

With a smirk on my lips, the three watched me walk up to Tord and sit on his lap, gaining a small yelp from him. The sheet being so thin, he could probably feel my ass cheeks splitting as I sat down. My backside still hurt like a bitch, though it was worth it to see the look of fear on Tord's face. He knew I was in control of the situation, not the control freak I was sitting on. The though alone would drive him mad if he wasn't probably trying to keep down a boner.

"Why would we ever think less of either of you for this? You're in love! You're dating! Even if it's a secret relationship, you're together with the person your heart longs for! I'm so proud of you, Tordy!" 

An anxious whimper left his lips, nodding with a fake smile. It made me giggle lightly, Paul and Patryk cuddling closer and awing at us. A light gasp left Patryk's lips, slightly blushing as well.

"Oh my, did we interrupt anything between you two? I see Thomas isn't... dressed for visitors."

Blush dusting my cheeks, the sheet pulled up a little to cover my body some more. Tord let out a sigh, finally going along with this as he placed a hand around my waist and kissed my cheek.

"Well, we were going to have some time together before getting to work, but we should really get dressed and ready, anyway."

Tord's parents shook their heads, Patryk standing up and pulling Paul with while shaking his head rapidly.

"Oh, no! Please, don't let us interrupt you! We'll take care of the morning routine, no worries! Just stay for a bit and spend time with Tom!"

Why was Pat so eager to let Tord stay with me? It was almost as if he was pushing for us to fuck before work. Maybe they noticed how tense Tord was before we 'got together'. Either way, if not having to stand around in another meeting meant having to screw around with Tord, I'd choose the latter every time. Only, one thing bothered me through all of this.

"You won't tell anyone, right?"

Stopping on their way to the door, Tord's parents gave me a soft smile and a shake of the head.

"We'd never do such a thing without your permission, Tom. It's not our place to tell, after all."

A sigh of relief leaving my lips, we all waved goodbye before Paul and Patryk were out of sight, the door shutting softly behind them. Tord sighed as well, though it was more of a distressed exhale.

"Why'd you tell them we're dating? Now I'll never hear the end of it when I see them."

Turning around on his lap, I changed my position to be straddling him, my bare lower half resting on his shorts. My arms laced around his neck, looking him in the eyes with a cold glare.

"You should thank me. If you told them the truth, we'd most likely be judged by them whenever they see us. I'm not interested in having someone constantly thinking bad of me."

Tord's expression seemed tired and fed up, another heavy sigh slipping out. His hands rested on my waist, lightly rubbing my skin up and down while looking at my chest.

"Still, they'd probably understand. They're my parents, after all."

An uneasy hum left my throat, eyes half lidded while I enjoyed the soft rubbing on my waist.

"I still don't want to take that chance. It's better if no one knew about our.. relationship."

Tord stopped rubbing, looking up into my eyes with a tired smile. He connected our lips, surprising me with his gesture. He'd never kissed me outside of the bedroom, our mouths moving together in a slow rhythm. It was nice, gentle. Soft and caring. A wonderful feeling dancing on my lips before we pulled away, his head resting on my chest. Tord stayed quiet, a huff leaving my mouth when I knew he wouldn't keep talking about the subject. 

My thoughts led back to this morning, listening in to the conversation I wasn't a part of.

"What's happening in two months?"

Hands gripping my sides tighter, Tord tensed up, not moving his head from my chest. His hesitance only intrigued me more. Seconds passed, and still not a word left his lips. A sharp sigh leaving my mouth, pushing myself back slightly to look into his eyes.

"Tord, what are you hiding from me?"

He looked away, holding my hands firmly in his own, and let out a sigh.

"I can't tell you, Thomas. I don't want to put pressure on you or anything."

A frown pulling at my lips, my brows furrowed. I hated secrets, especially ones Tord kept. He knew I was curious, his biggest secrets always coming as a huge shock to me when it happened. Of course it would, it was only natural. No part of me would've ever guess that Tord was the leader of a fucking army.

"When can you tell me, then? I don't like being kept in the dark." 

My hand cupped his cheek, turning his head to face me. He looked me in the eyes, guilt hidden in them.

"Maybe next week? In a month? Before it takes place? I don't know! I just don't want you to do something drastic before it happens." 

Ok, now I was really confused. What could be so bad that I'd freak out? Tord probably didn't mean that, but the way he said it sure made it seem that way. 

"Thomas, please understand that I don't want you to know. Not yet. I'll tell you eventually, ok?"

A sharp sigh leaving my lips, it took a few moments before I gulped down the lump in my throat and simply nodded. 

"F-ine. But you're telling me sooner or later, understand? Next week."

He was reluctant to nod, though eventually did, making a light smile creep onto my lips. I thanked him, giving him a peck on the lips, before pulling away with a smirk. I finally realized what position I was in at the moment. 

Softly and teasingly, I began grinding on Tord, my bare lower half roughly pushing against Tord's crotch. It hardly took anything for a boner to form. Sitting on him with my bare ass must've done a lot for his imagination.

"T-om..."

His voice was husky, alluring to my ears. Though, it was more fun to tease the other than it was to please him. Not to mention, my bottom half still hurt, my movements not making things much better, though it was worth it to see his lustful, helpless face. 

I slid off his lap when he began grinding back, his member poking me through his pants. He whined slightly at the loss of contact, simply making me giggle with a smirk. 

"Sorry, darling. But you lost that privilege yesterday when you basically tortured me for sucking you off. I'm going to take a shower, you have fun with your little friend."

Tord groaned as I stood up, taking off the sheet as I walked. I could practically feel his eyes staring at my ass, a sly smirk on my lips as I shook it while I walked. The door didn't close as I walked into the bedroom, though that wasn't my intention, anyway. After getting my clothes and a fresh towel, I snuck a quick peek back into the living room, watching Tord bite his lip while stroking up and down his member.

Before I was about to go to the bathroom, Tord groaned out my name in a lewd tone. It sent shivers down my spine, watching him pick up the pace of his stroking while closing his eyes, breath hitching every few seconds.

So, he thought about me while he masturbated? Strange, yet understandable. Maybe it was a perverted compliment, though it could've also been taken as 'my sex skills were as good as his hand.' Then again, he was probably just imagining me stroking him.

Ah, fuck it.

I snuck into the living room, Tord being too lost in his own world to notice. My hand teased the tip, Tord's eyes shooting open as he looked at me, though they fell to half lidded soon enough. He couldn't even make out a real word, mumbling out something with a bright red face. It made me chuckle, taking over his actions and using my hand to quickly pump up and down his shaft, earning moans of ecstasy as I did so.

He panted heavily, my free hand rubbing his tip as my other hand worked his magic. Tord wasn't the loud type, though as I jacked him off, he seemed unable to keep anything in. His hands found their way into my hair, pulling it and running his fingers over my head. It egged me on even more, his back arching with a loud moan as he came. Cum covered my hands, a satisfied smirk on my lips. He usually wasn't as fast as this, but that didn't mean I wasn't proud of myself for getting him to cum quickly. 

As I stood up, Tord watched me with an exhausted expression, smiling lightly at me.

"Tha-nks."

A small wink and a nod, I turned to go back to the bedroom, cleaning my hands before getting into the bathroom and taking a shower. The touch of Tord's hands on my waist lingered, making me smile as I washed my frail body. 

Strange.


	18. Truth

A skip in my step as I walked, I greeted a few officers on my way. The last week had been strange, especially whenever Paul and Patryk were around. They'd tell us to not pretend around them, pushing us together and making kissy faces. It was annoying, though seeing Tord's embarrassed and red face whenever they did this was more than worth it.

Tord seemed to be a lot more relaxed in work, a few more meetings having gone by where he didn't yell or lose his shit in front of everyone. He did that when he pounded into me instead. And, even though the week hadn't been bad, something still bothered me.

What would happen in two months? Something big, if Tord was going to keep it a secret like this for so long. But what could possibly make him so scared to tell me? So afraid to think I'd do something rash and mindlessly chosen. I think about my options, what to do in situations, and Tord knew I always have. What the hell was going through his mind? 

It was a mystery, as Tord was usually an enigma, his secrets hidden well. All apart from his desires. The familiar look of lust in his eyes was one I had grown accustomed to. He's the worst at hiding it. The look that says 'I want to have sex with you.'  
Just seeing it always got me in the mood.

"Tom! Care to join me for lunch?"

The usual smile on his rosy lips, it was always a pleasure to see Jason. He gestured to the vacant chair beside him, pulling it out for me to sit in. I did so, giggling as he pushed my chair in when I sat down. 

"So, how's your morning been?"

Jason looked at me with a sweet smile, eating a sandwich neatly, without getting a spot on his face dirty. Basically the opposite of me.

"It's been pretty slow, to be honest. Red Leader hasn't talked to me all morning, so he's probably in a salty mood or something."

I didn't sleep over with Tord last night, due to him saying he wasn't feeling up to snuggling with me. He was probably jacking off to hentai all night like the pervert I've grown up with.

"How about yours?"

Swallowing his food, Jason looked at me with a hum.

"Today's been pretty fine, I guess. Also, Red Leader sounds like an asshole, not gonna lie."

Rolling my eyes with a smile, it was hard to deny what he said. When he felt like it, Tord could be a huge jackass. Though, that doesn't mean he couldn't be a soft sweetheart at times. But only at times.

"True, true. But hey, you know? You can't change him. To- uhm... Red Leader is just that type of person."

Hardly paying attention to my words, I stopped myself from slipping up and revealing Tord's name. I was sure Jason wouldn't have had any interest in knowing, but I still had to be careful. Making another mistake would mean punishment, and that fate seemed worse than simply keeping my mouth shut. Not to mention, the ghost of a vibrator shoved up my ass still made it uncomfortable for me to sit. 

Jason hummed a light tune as he finished up another bite of his food, raising a brow at me while I sat neatly in my chair.

"If I may ask, what is your relationship with Red Leader exactly?" 

The question caught me by surprise, unsure of what to say. Unsure of what he meant, to be honest. I was his secretary, that's a pretty obvious relationship. Though, did Jason know more..?  
Surely not, right?

"Uhm, what do you mean?"

Was it getting hot in there, or was it my memories from a few nights ago when Tord pounded the shit out of me on the couch? Either one would work in this case.

"I see you two working quite closely with each other, so I was just wondering if it was just a job thing or if you know him personally. I'm still wondering how someone with no training beforehand became Red Leader's personal assistant."

My eyes shifted around the room, not knowing what to say. He couldn't know the truth, even if I wanted to tell him. Even if I was sure I could trust him. Jason couldn't know. At least, he couldn't know the whole story.

"I actually know the Leader personally. We were roommates for years until he left, and he came back a while ago to ask me to join him. So, here I am."

A light nod of the head, Jason's reaction wasn't one I was really expecting. He seemed deep in thought, as if trying to piece together a puzzle, though not sure if he had the right idea of the end result. 

"So, he just let you join? A week of training and then you're ready to go?"

Why did he sound demanding? No, that's not the right word. But why was his tone rough? As if he were commanding me to tell him. What a turn off.

"How did you know I had a week of training?"

Barely taking a second to answer, Jason threw a bunch of words in my face for me to understand.

"Word goes around, ya know? Newbie? Secretary? Training? Things like that don't go unnoticed around here."

Suddenly, I was glad to not have told Jason anything. His hectic changing of expressions led me to believe he wasn't telling the whole truth. Then again, I've never been much of a detective.

"Thomas, can you please meet me in my office?"

Tord's voice ringing through my walkie talkie, it broke through the strange silence between Jason and me. 

"S-ure, Sir. Be right there."

Once placing my device back in its holder, I turned to see Jason's slightly disappointed face when I stood.

"Sorry, I have to go."

He stood as well, his sandwich halfway eaten and laying on a paper plate.

"P-lease! Let me walk you! Sorry, I shouldn't have been so snarky."

Shaking my head, I placed my hand on his shoulder to get him to sit again. A soft, amused smile painted my lips after he was seated again.

"I can find my way alone this time, Jason. But thanks, anyway. See you later!"

My footsteps echoed loudly as I wandered down the desolate hallway. Its walls were so familiar now, stripes running across it on which I placed my hand as I walked. Creamy white, a soothing colour, as if to calm me down if ever I needed to.

Though, there was of course something missing. The feeling of being home. I may have gotten used to these halls, the sound of Tord's office door opening, the view of a man sitting behind a large desk meeting my eyes. It was all normal to me, but it was far, far from home.

"You asked to see me, Sir?"

Tord nodded, extending his arm towards the chair in front of his desk. This all seemed too formal for me, Tord's usual smirk replaced with a monotonous face, posture uptight and authoritative. Once I sat down, Tord did as well, an eerie silence creeping over us before a sigh was heard.

This was weird. Unusual. Nothing I was used to. Being treated like someone under his command, lower than my rank as his personal assistant.

"I'm going to tell you what's happening in two months, and I want you to hear me out, alright?"

This was just getting weirder by the second. Tord knew me better than anyone, so if he was that scared about telling me, it was probably something big. Or, maybe, Tord was just overreacting and making a big deal out of something. It was anyone's guess.

"Ok? Stop dancing around the subject and tell me already."

Tord took a deep breath, holding it for a while which made me roll my eyes. My arms crossed over my chest as he let it out, his eyes eventually meeting mine before they darted down to look at his hands. 

"About three years ago, back when I was still in the house with you guys, I decided one day to build something. Something to help my parents and their army. It started as a small project, just tinkering with a few gadgets that could be used as weapons, until it turned into something more. A big project with giant blueprints, months of planning, years of building. I wanted to help my parents win the global war in the best way I could."

He took a moment, still avoiding eye contact with me. Instead, he kept a steady gaze at the desk, sometimes flickering to my lips, though he never looked higher.

"So, I built a giant robot to take over the world."

That's not something you hear every day. Your sex buddy telling you they built this giant children's toy. I knew he was an engineer, always tinkering and building, so learning about a giant weapon he built wasn't all that interesting or new to me. 

After digging through a few piles of paper, he showed me a blueprint of how the robot looked. Pretty big, intricate design, though I stayed unimpressed. Giant robot, big whoop. 

"Ok? So you built a bigger version of something you played with as a toddler. Why would I flip out about that?"

Shuffling in his seat, the man before me took a moment to collect himself, eventually letting his gaze flicker up to meet my eyes.

"I never brought that robot to the Red Army. It's under our old house, in a side room that had been built in, connecting to my old room. That robot is the perfect weapon to help the Red Army win against any attack. Never be defeated. We would have the world within our grasp with this thing!" 

Listening to Tord drag something out was the most boring thing I'd ever had to go through. I got it, his robot would help the Red Army in a billion ways. Though, he seemed to be dancing around the subject, instead of straight up telling me what he wanted.

"JUST GET TO THE POINT!"

Startled by my outburst, but not surprised, Tord gave me a quick answer that left me frozen.

"The robot's still there, and I wanna go back to the old house and get it."

It took a moment for me to understand what Tord just told me, though when I did, my eyes widened with my heart almost stopping. 

"B-ut... going back would mean.. Edd and Matt..."

Tord nodded slowly, staying quiet as I processed the situation. So much to unpack from such a quick sentence. Tord wanted to get the robot, the robot was still in the house, he'd have to go back to the house, Edd and Matt were still there, he'd have to see Edd and Matt again, take the robot and leave. 

All my old friends would see would be Tord taking the giant robot, never to return again. There was a chance they wouldn't have even been home, though it was low and I highly doubted it. 

"Y-ou know going back just for that would... destroy them, right?"

Saying silent, Tord didn't look me in the eye as he nodded his head. He was listening, processing the situation, waiting for me to continue.

"A-after you left, they were heartbroken. Going back just for this would..."

It hurt to think about. Edd and Matt's broken faces, covered in tears as a million questions flooded their minds. They didn't know Tord was Red Leader, or that there was anything like a 'giant robot' under the house to begin with. Tord going back to them for a weapon would be like betraying his friends. 

"Ho-w do you plan on ge-tting it?"

My emotions were pushed down as I waited for Tord to sift through his papers, pulling out a form with a detailed drawing of the machine he had built. Who knows, maybe Tord was planning on waiting until Edd and Matt were gone for a while. They wouldn't need to know. 

"First of all, detaching the robot from its holders would take a few hours, so there's no way I could go unnoticed from our old friends while I worked on it. I'd just tell them I forgot to grab something from my old room, lock the door when I get inside, detach everything, then enter the robot and fly back to an isolated area in Norway, where a team of soldiers will take apart the pieces and transport it back to the base without raising any suspicion."

His speech left me dumbfounded, though not because it was brilliant. No, it was because of how stupid he was. Typical.

"...Tord, you're the biggest moron I've ever come across. Edd and Matt would be worried if you spent hours in your room without coming out. They'd probably kick the door down, thinking you're hurt. Aren't you going to at least say goodbye? They're our friends for fucks sake!   
And 'without raising any suspicion' is the stupidest thing you've ever said to me. If a big ass robot flying from England to Norway isn't suspicious, the rest of the world is fucking blind. You're an idiot, Tord! What about Edd and Matt? Seeing you come back just to leave again, without even saying goodbye, would be hell for them!"

Panting a little after my outburst, I hadn't noticed my posture, hands on Tord's desk and leaning into his face with straightened legs. Tord wasn't intimidated, of course not, though he did stop to think about what I said. Edd and Matt were the most dear friends in my life. Tord hurting them would mean my world crashing down, hardly being able to believe Tord was capable of doing something like that to them. 

Though, I knew Tord was. Even if I didn't want to accept it. 

"Unless you want to go get it, I'm afraid this is the only option I came up with. The robot will help with the army, and any chance of getting it is worth hurting the feelings of two people."

My blood boiled, hands balling up into fists at his words. When did Tord ever become so... selfish? Narrowing my eyes, I spoke through gritted teeth.

"If you do this, I'll leave the army and never see your fucking face ever again."

Not even a twitch in his expression, Tord's face seemed to darken, eyes glaring into my own. He seemed like another person, a new light shed on him that I hadn't seen before. Powerful, strong, threatening. Fearsome and sinister. Despite hating the look in his eye, I stood my ground.

"You saw what happened the last time I was away. Your drunk ass couldn't hold yourself back from getting laid every night by men you didn't even know. You can get everything you want here, Thomas."

His voice was cold, hate bubbling up inside of me as he spoke.

"What I want is for Edd and Matt to be happy."

"WELL THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, THOMAS. EITHER WAY, THEY'RE UPSET. HELL, SEEING YOU LEAVE PROBABLY KILLED THEM INSIDE, BUT YOU STILL LEFT. YOU DIDN'T SEEM TO CARE, HUH. YOU WERE JUST CHASING ME, WEREN'T YOU? YOU LEFT YOUR FRIENDS TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE WHENEVER YOU WANT. IF YOU WANTED THEM TO BE HAPPY OVER EVERYTHING, YOU WOULD'VE STAYED. STOP BEING A HYPOCRITE AND ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I'M GOING BACK TO THEM AND PUTTING THIS PLAN IN ACTION WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT."

My hand slammed on the table, screaming at him to shut up. He didn't say a word as I breathed forcefully through my nose, eyes set glaring at the table. His shadow was cast over me, body looming high above my feeble figure. Silence surrounded us, spare for the heavy breaths that were slowly settling down.

Thoughts filled my mind, Tord's words playing on loop, over and over, never to cease. I didn't like this. I didn't like his plan, his tone, his voice, his existence.  
I didn't like him.

In that moment, I didn't want to be near him at all.

"Don't forget who the real hypocrite is here. You asked me to join the army for your own selfish needs. You hardly take into account how hard it was for me to leave my friends, but I needed a change. All you wanted was sex."

Standing tall and turning, I made my way to the door, taking a moment to stop and speak with my back facing Tord.

"I'm leaving to go back to Edd and Matt. Don't follow me."


	19. Footsteps

Tears began streaming down my face the more I thought about what Tord told me. The thought of Edd and Matt's scared and confused faces, watching their friend fly off in a giant machine. My back against his office door, I didn't have the heart to walk away just yet. 

His plan was so stupid. So fucking stupid. There's no way no one would notice a giant piece of metal flying around in the sky. Tord would probably get killed if he pulled it through, and in all honesty, part of me kinda liked that idea in that moment. No more Tord meant no more stress or disappointment.

I thought he was better than that. Then he turns a 180 and becomes some kind of backstabbing jackass who didn't even care about his own friends.

Friends seen as family. The ones who took him in when he moved to England. Friends who had always been by his side, who laughed and cried with him, cared for him, accepted him in his lowest points. They shed tears when he left. Edd and Matt didn't seem the same.

If they saw Tord's face again, they'd instantly light up with joy, decorate the house, beg him to stay over and cook a nice meal. And instead, Tord would show them a threatening smirk, leave them hanging with questions never to be answered by the same man they thought was their friend.

Footsteps heard from inside Tord's office, I pushed myself from his door and began speedily walking away. The faint sound of Tord's door opening filled my ears, my name being called full of guilt, though I didn't care to hear it. 

His footsteps thankfully didn't reach my ears, meaning he was either too far away, or he wasn't coming after me. Though, my name still rang through the halls, each time getting quieter as Tord called for me. It was clear by his voice that he was worried, probably scared that I'd leave the army and stop his only source of pleasure when he didn't want to jack off.

That's all I was to him, anyway. If I was nothing more than a toy, why couldn't I have pieced together sooner that he saw Edd and Matt as simple obstacles in his way of achieving his goal. He didn't care if he hurt them, as long as he got his stupid robot he'd think he won. It just didn't make sense to me.

As my thoughts traveled, I didn't notice my footsteps picking up even faster, to the point where I was running through the corridors. Running away from that monster, the traitor I'd grown to expect better from. His voice calling my name still rung in my ears, his sharp glare pierced into my mind. I just wanted to get away from him, as far away as possible. Anything was better than being with him. Anyone was better to be with than him. Even the small part of me which usually wanted a hug from that man didn't even trust him anymore.

Why give him my all when he'd trade it for a stab at the world?

Racing down the halls, my tears blurred my vision, people I'd probably seen before looking like blobs surrounded by light. A few shouts from familiar voices, a few objections when I'd run against someone, though my feet never slowed down. I found myself running through the entire base, passing every room I'd been in before.

The cafeteria was full of soldiers, Paul and Patryk were more than likely in there, too. I just didn't want to be around anyone, no one who even wore the colour red. The name 'Red Leader' rung around me as more soldiers turned to watch the strange person running through the base while crying. Tord's secretary.  
The person commanding everyone else in the base.

People still went out of my way as I continued, eventually leading me outside, the sun hitting my face at a blinding angle. A blob stood a few meters away from me, though it didn't move. I ran past it, letting out a surprised yelp when it grabbed me from around the waist, pulling me close to its body. I struggled against the arms of whoever was holding me, commanding them to let me go, though their familiar voice got me to instantly stop struggling.

"TOM! CALM DOWN!"

Jason hugged me tightly, pulling my body close to his while a hand carded through my hair. The action was soothing, relaxing me a bit, to the point where my body almost fell limp in his arms. The thoughts, feelings, everything crashing down on me...  
It led me to bawl in the other man's arms, hugging him tightly while he shushed me. He whispered comforting words in my ears, telling me it was alright. That I was safe. That I didn't have to be afraid or upset. 

Pulling me out of the way of the building's entrance, Jason let me sit down on a bench, still hugging me closely as soldiers avoided eye contact as they walked by. So what if I was crying? They didn't have to whisper about it when they thought I wasn't looking.

"What's wrong, Thomas? Did something happen with Red Leader?"

Taking in a light breath, a sigh escaped my lips as I let it out, shuffling my head up and down a bit to nod at Jason's question. It was obvious what was going to come after that, though his question still made me hug him tighter. 

"What happened, Tom?"

He patted my back as I gripped his clothes, tears stained on them, though I wasn't in the right mind to apologize for that. A few silent seconds went by, before a sigh cut through it.

"..It's a long story. I don't think this is the best place to talk about it."

Jason let out a sigh, too, before kissing the top of my head and standing up, much to my dismay. 

"I know a nice place in the base. It's pretty quiet, not that many people know about it. We could go there if you wanna be alone." 

A place without any soldiers looking at me strangely, their eyes burning holes into my back while whispers filled the room. That sounded wonderful. I nodded at Jason, smiling softly as I took his hand and walked with him across the training field. 

In hardly any time at all, we'd reached the other side of the base, the last few minutes spent zipping around trees and through small passages. The number of people around us became less and less, eventually leading to a rather beautiful garden behind a large, grey building I hadn't seen around before. 

Trees stood in a circular formation, bushes accompanying them to create a natural wall separating the garden from the outside world. A bench was placed against the building, a small pond in the middle of it all. This placed seemed almost too wonderful to be true, so different from the bleak, colourless world back in the base.

"So, what's the story?"

Jason took my attention off the garden as he walked up to the bench, pulling me along by my hand, the two of us sitting together. Slightly forgetting what had happened earlier, it took me a few moments until I finally realized what Jason was referring to, my expression changing from amazed to dreary in an instant. A sharp sigh left my lips, head hitting the back wall as I collected my thoughts and closed my eyes for a few moments. A soft breeze swept past, Jason's fingers weaving with my own, making me open my eyes and look up at him with a soft smile.

"Ok... You can't ever tell anyone what I'm about to tell you, alright? Promise me, Jason."

He nodded with a light smile, waiting for my story to begin. It took a bit for me to figure out where to start, though I was mostly just holding back from spitting everything out. I didn't know why, or what was holding me back, so I eventually just spoke.

"I've known Red Leader for years. Since we were kids. We went to school together and all, grew up together, even ended up moving into a house with our two other friends. At first, we didn't really like each other. Hell, we hated being near one another! He was some dumbass Commie with a hentai addiction while I.. was some stupid Jehovah's Witness with an alcohol problem. Not a good mix, as you can guess."

Jason nodded looking up at the sky while he listened to my story. Our fingers were still laced together, his thumb lightly stroking my skin. 

"It's so long ago, I hardly remember what even happened to be honest. But I remember a night when our friends went out and left us alone in the house. I thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, seeing as how that's what I did to distract myself from everything. To-... Red Leader walked in on me in my room... drunk and horny.  
I was in the middle of...  
You get the idea."

Slightly hiding my face in my shirt, the other snickered under his breath before hearing me let out an embarrassed whine. 

"Anyway, I don't know what came over me. I wasn't even really drunk. I just looked over at that hot guy in my room and thought he was better than some stupid toy. So we.. hooked up."

A moment of silence fell upon us as I remembered everything from that night. The feeling of sweat running over my body, his hands gripping my hips while we both rocked the bed in a rhythm. It was a feeling that back then seemed alien to me, though now felt like something all too familiar. It made a shiver run up my spine at the memory.

"When it was over, we just laid in bed thinking. Wondering what the fuck we just did. Wondering why we... liked it. He made me feel amazing. Being intimate with him made some part of me feel satisfied, like I'd never been before. He told me he felt the same, so we both agreed to do this again. And again. And every time our friends left us alone.   
But he didn't want a relationship with me. I was still the annoying drunk who's only fun in bed. Just like I didn't really want to be kissed by someone who basically smoked one hundred cigars a day.

So, we became friends with benefits.  
Well, enemies was a better word. Because when we started getting closer, we got alone much better. But well, we didn't want our friends finding out about this whole thing. Edd keeps telling us about how we should only be close like that with someone we love, while Matt was too oblivious and innocent for us to want to ruin that. So, we pretended to hate each other's guts.

We pretty much bullied each other every day, but got intimately close at night. It was a weird relationship, but one I've come to enjoy."

A light chuckle left my lips, thinking back to the many times Edd and Matt almost caught us, getting us to stop making out and instead punch the shit out of each other.

"Until a year ago. When he left. It wasn't until a few weeks ago when I found out why. He left to go here. To this stupid fucking Army. And just.. leaving me back to get drunk and fuck random people I met in clubs. Like where I met you and all."

Nodding his head lightly, Jason sighed and pulled me closer, leaning on my hair. It made me chuckle softly, though I continued.

"So, a few weeks ago, he came back. He offered me a job here as his secretary. But not only that. He wanted me to be his.. toy again. Basically be there for stress relief, on top of doing everything a secretary would do. And I guess that sort of blinded me from how much of a FUCKING ASSHOLE HE IS!"

I gripped Jason's hand slightly tighter out of anger, hearing a light yelp come from him. 

"Uhm.. What did he do?"

Feeling Jason's hand slide from my grip, I turned to face the other, seeing him quickly put on a toothy smile when I did so. He looked slightly nervous, though it soon melted into his usual smile. I raised a brow, before clearing my throat and facing the pond again.

"He wants to go back to our old house, where our friends still live. Apparently, he made a huge destruction robot for the Army a few years ago, and it's still under the house. He knows how our old friends would react if he came back.  
They'd hug him, invite him in for lunch, want to share stories about what's happened for the past year.  
But he's just be there for the robot. He would just want to push Edd and Matt aside before flying away in that thing like Optimus Prime. It just doesn't make sense. Our friends mean a lot to him...   
Why would he suddenly turn around and say 'fuck them'?

So, that's why I'm a little upset right now. He just told me his stupid plan."

Another silence swept past us, the only sound coming from the wind and a light shrug of Jason's shoulders. My sight was focused on the ground, a leaf flying over it slowly. A light cough came from the other, Jason speaking up with a strange tone in his voice.

"Well... I don't know about everyone else here, but I didn't sign up to the Red Army to have some robot win all the fights. If we can get enough people against Red Leader's idea, he might not go through with it."

His words going through my mind made my head spin, Jason's idea bringing up countless thoughts of soldiers banding together to fight against Tord's stupid plan.

"...That.. could be worth a shot."

Seeing Jason smile made me feel slightly weird. Good or bad, it was hard to tell. Probably good, though. Smiling is always good. 

He looked behind him at the grey building, before standing up and holding his hand out to me. Hesitantly, I took it, getting to my feet with the help of Jason, who started pulling me to a narrow path through the bushes.

"Wh-ere are we going?"

He eventually stopped pulling me as we stood in front of the grey building, one I hadn't seen in the base at all. Jason then started pushing me inside, much to my protest, though he didn't stop.

"To the soldier's rooms! We should get going if we wanna stop Tord!"

...Tord. I never...

"I never told you his name..."

Was it just me, or did the lights go out?  
And did the floor come to me, or did I fall to it?

"I know, Tom.   
I know."

I didn't have enough time to speak before I slipped into unconsciousness.


	20. Shackles

Time to get unrealistic  
\------------------------------

Uncomfortable, hard, cold. I tried snuggling up with my blanket to get more comfortable in the bed, though I found it impossible to move my arms. That made me open my eyes instantly, yet doing so scared me even more. My vision was different. Clearer, yet less natural. Moving my head seemed more difficult, too. As if my head weighed more than it usually did. 

Darkness surrounded me, though a dim source of light coming from the other side of the room allowed me to somewhat see. I was laying on a small bed, shackles around both of my hands and legs. Breaking free was impossible, no matter how hard I pulled on them, the shackles only seemed to hurt me more. A nightstand stood beside me, a mirror facing down laid on top of it. 

Feeling wind blow on my skin made my hair stand on end, a slightly opened window letting in the pale moonlight. A yellow glow emitted from an unknown source, around the corner of a wall at the back end of the room. Possibly from another window, though the light seemed to be flowing in from a hallway. A door stood against the back wall, grey and bland. Nothing but the soft, gentle breeze of the night filled my ears, the silence making me painfully confused and afraid. 

What happened before I woke up here? I had a fight with Tord, followed Jason into a building, then everything ended.  
Though, it ended with Jason saying Tord's name. The name I never told him.  
How did he know..

I jolted when the door creaked open, revealing three people standing in the doorway. I tried squinting, though for some reason my vision wasn't different. Light flooded the room, temporarily blinding me, thought it didn't hurt to look at. 

"Ah, you're awake! I was wondering how long your lazy ass would stay asleep."

That voice. The voice I heard before I passed out. The voice I'd grown used to. The one who kissed my hand and made me laugh, brought me to a beautiful garden where I told him my secret.   
Now menacing and cold, unwelcoming, rather than sweet.

The three people came closer to me, only now could I see the lab coats worn by two, whereas the other one wore some sort of grey coat over a black uniform. Upon closer inspection of his face, I could clearly see Jason looking at me with a smirk I'd never seen him wear before.

"Hello, Thomas. Miss me?"

He reached a hand out towards my face, my head backing away as far as possible. A dark chuckle left his lips, my own slightly trembling.

"Wh-ere am I. What am I doing here."

No answer to my statement. It wasn't a question, it was a demand to know what was happening. Nevertheless, he didn't react on it.

"You must've noticed a few new changes, haven't you, Tommy? Like the chains on your arms and legs? Or how about that device on your head? Here, have a look. It's quite impressive, I must say."

Device.. on my head..? That sentence made me question Jason's sanity, though when he picked up the mirror from the nightstand and held it to my face, I let out a blood curdling scream.

A black headset was strapped over my eyes, two bright green orbs staring back at me. A few small glitches on the screen occurred, the shape of the circles slightly changing as well. Though, they never strayed from looking directly at me, at everything I was seeing. They acted like my eyes, yet they were nothing like them.

"WHA-T THE FUCK I-S THIS!? WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!"

Jason simply let another chuckle slip through, the people wearing lab coats pulling out a strange computer chip from a black box. Grabbing my head suddenly, Jason made he face him, placing the mirror back down again and staring directly into my eyes.

"This beautiful piece of technology is to help keep you in check when you're under my command. I know how close you were with my adversary, so it'll make sure you don't try to harm me or escape. If you do, this chip will make sure your body feels unbearable pain for as long as I see fit." 

Confusing, everything was so confusing. Command, chip, adversary... I didn't know what he was talking about. One thing was obvious, though. This wasn't the same person I knew as Jason.  
Why was everyone turning 180° and turning out to be an asshole?   
Or worse, I suppose. 

"J-ason... Wh-o are you?"

Was I afraid to ask, or was I afraid of the answer I would get? A devilish smirk painted on his face again, it reminded me of the look Tord gave anyone he'd want to kill. It was almost like a look of death.

"I'm the leader of the Grey Army. Welcome to enemy territory, Tommy."

Hyperventilating, sweating, mouth as dry as a desert. I was scared. Scared for my life, struggling against the chains on my limbs, all to no avail. The people in lab coats came closer, their faces dark and threatening. Not as threatening as Jason's. His made tears well in my eyes behind the headset.

"Stay still, Thomas. It'll be quicker and less painful to just do what I say."

One more person held my waist down while Jason held my face, the third person getting extremely close to my head with the chip. Based on what Jason told me about it, that chip would make me feel pain whenever Jason wanted me to. It would make me scream, writhe in agony... I could tell just by the look on his face alone that it wouldn't be pretty.

"STO-P! L-ET GO OF ME, YOU SCOUNDREL! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"

My arms didn't stop flailing as I tried getting free from the shackles, though once a click was heard from the side of my head, I froze. A loading bar appeared in green on my VR screen, the animation playing in front of my eyes.

0%  
Downloading...  
23%  
69%  
95%  
Download complete.

My screen went black, plunging me into complete darkness. I was still awake, the dark chuckle of a twisted man playing like a cassette on loop next to me. My breathing was rapid, tears filled my eyes though never managed to leave. It was hard to even move, the darkness surrounding me making my mind race with fear.

"Why d-id you do this..."

A soft hiccup in between my words, my voice trying not to show how much I was holding back from breaking down and screaming. I could feel someone grab my chin again, a moment seeming unbearably long as he pulled my lips towards him in a dirty kiss, his pressing roughly against my own. He tasted like cigarettes and cheap liquor, the taste seeming familiar from when we first met. Yet, this time it made me feel sick. 

He pulled away from kissing me for far too long, making me struggle to breathe even more before he did so.

"Because, my darling. You're the secretary of the big, bad Red. He must've told you every battle plan and idea he's come up with. You already told me everything about his newest plan, after all. With your friends? And the robot under the house? You've helped me without even knowing who I was. Imagine what secrets you'll spill while you're here." 

Laughing that hideous, disgusting laugh he had, Jason ran a hand down my cheek, my head jerking away with a quick movement. Letting a hiss pass my lips, I spoke with venom laced in my words.

"I'll never help you, asshole. You got the wrong guy."

Jason's breath hit my lips, making me turn my head away from him with a scrunched up face. 

"I don't think so, sweetheart. You're perfect."

Another clicking sound rang through my head, a few soft taps heard, sounding like plastic pieces being put together. It was unclear to me where the sound was coming from, my eyes darting everywhere, though blackness still surrounded me. 

The tapping sounded quicker, as if building up. Getting louder, faster, ringing in my head to the point where I couldn't identify single clicks anymore. Until an agonizing burst of pain shot through my mind, making me scream as the scorching feeling of electricity rushing through my body. I spasmed in the bed, my limbs pulling harshly against the confines surrounding them. Shrieks and wails of pain accompanied my tears, sweat already forming over my skin.

Lasting a few seconds, the painful burst ceased, the clicking no longer to be heard. My breathing was ragged; even more than it'd been before. Body feeling numb, tired fingers curling against the cold metal on my wrists. I just wanted to cry, beg for Tord to come in. To get me out of here and hold me in his arms, shower me with hugs and kisses, love me under the duvet covers of his bed. 

Instead, the sound of Jason letting out a relived sigh sounded beside me.

"Just a little heads up for the punishment I had in mind if you misbehave. I'm hoping you won't put up too much of a fight, especially with the service program I installed."

It was difficult to focus on what the man beside me was saying. The numbing feeling in my body didn't go away, chest rising and falling at a thankfully slower pace by now. 

"I'll start the program shortly. Be a good boy and stay put, or I won't hesitate to press the button for that surge again."

A light whine left my lips, eyes leaking as soft sobs crawled their way out of my throat.

"P-lea-se ju-st... l-let me go.."

Moments of silence passed, the sound of a door closing making me cry even more. Everything hurt. My body, my mind, and my heart. Finding out Tord didn't care about Edd or Matt seemed small in comparison to the situation I was in now, though it was still the reason why all of this happened.

Why I told Jason Tord's newest plan and backstory. Why he got me alone to kidnap me. Why I found out he wasn't ever who he said he was. It made me wonder if he already knew me before we even met in the army. Or even in the bar.

Maybe he knew.

Maybe he knew everything from the start. My relationship with Tord, the reason he left, the actions I'd take to try feeling some kind of satisfaction again. Picking me up at the bar, giving me a less than satisfying time, all so I would want to be with Tord even more. Maybe he knew I'd go with Tord. Maybe he knew I wanted to have sex with him again instead of face another round of unsatisfying sex with Jason. 

Become Tord's assistant.  
Gather information on weapons and strategy plans.  
Get kidnapped.  
Be forced to tell Jason everything I knew. 

Maybe he planned it from the start.

Maybe. 

My tears slowing down, breath stabilizing and sobs ceasing, I was left in darkness, the chains feeling like they were cutting through my skin. A sudden flash before my eyes startled me, green text showing in a question, blackness still surrounding the words.

'Thomas Rigewill, age 23, male. Is Thomas reading this?  
[Yes] [No]'

The text seemed to want me to answer, the cursor at the end flashing every second. Unsure of what to do, I spoke to the device on my face.

"No."

Like hell I would say yes to a machine that knows my name. 

'Voice recognition online. Voice identified as: Thomas Rigewill.'

Ok, so it knew my voice. Why the fuck did it have to ask me then?

'I am Thomas Rigewill, prisoner and slave of Grey Leader. I will follow his every command.'

Barely finished with reading, my eyes went wide when I myself began speaking out the words on the screen, my mouth moving although I never wanted to speak. As if the device was taking over my body, my struggling against it doing absolutely nothing. 

"WHAT IS HAPPENING?!"

My body felt so weak, powerless against everything going on. More text popped up on the screen, my vision still left ungranted, blinded by an empty void without colour.

'Sleep'

For as long as it took me to read the word, so long did it take for my body to already understand, muscles relaxing, though I never wanted that to happen. 

"Wai-"


	21. Perverted

Time to get uncomfortable.  
Depending on who you are, you may or may not enjoy this chapter.   
So uh.. proceed with caution, I suppose?   
\-----------------------------------

A warm, fluffy blanket covering my body, unlike in the sheets from the night before. My wrists and ankles didn't feel bound to anything, the bed felt less hard than the last one. It was pretty safe to say, even without opening my eyes, that a lot had happened while I was asleep. 

Instead of blinking my eyes open, it seemed as if a computer before my face had started up, welcoming me to the sight of a different room from yesterday, full of light and an altered layout. The walls were covered in creamy white paint, a ray of sun shining on the carpet a few feet away from me. A delayed reaction, shooting up to sit in my new bed, viewing the light blue blankets draped over my body. Only now did I realize how chilly I was without the blanket, a strange, itchy feeling on my skin. 

Looking down, I started panicking once I realized I was completely naked, the blanket scratching my bare skin and making me less comfortable than usual. My breathing picked up, feeling vulnerable and out of place. Waking up naked in a new environment can do a number on your dignity. 

On the nightstand, a note laid on top of a pile of grey clothes, scribbled handwriting looking rushed and written in panic. 

'Your new uniform. Put it on and press the button by the side of the door.   
-Grey Leader' 

The handwriting looked nothing like the one used on the note after I woke up when I met Jason. Maybe he got someone else to write this for him instead. He seemed like the kind of asshole who would get anyone else to do his work for him if he could. Strange how he didn't send some other soldier into the Red Army base instead. 

I didn't trust any part of this, knowing Jason probably set up some kind of security camera like the fucking pervert he is. Reaching my arm out, I grabbed the pile of clothing and pulled them towards me, setting them on the bed to get a good look at them. 

The uniform was made up of a grey shirt that revealed my belly a bit, a skirt that presumably went down to my middle thighs, grey socks that seemed to go to my thighs as well, and to top it all off, some panties designed for men, grey in colour with frilly laces on the sides.

Fucking hell, this guy was worse than Tord! At least the Commie didn't try embarrassing me in public or something. When he wanted me to wear an outfit, he always asked me first, never forcing me into a situation I wasn't comfortable with.

Well, apart from the 'punishment' he gave me, though I'm pretty sure he realized that was going too far. Tord learns from his mistakes. I had a feeling Jason wasn't that type of person.

There was no way I was going to wear that ugly, perverted outfit, especially if it was only to please a twisted man I didn't truly know. Jason didn't have my consent to do this. He only wanted information, so why put me through this? He already had his drunk fun with me months ago. My only guess was that he didn't have anyone else wiling to get near his dick, so his last resort was to do this to me.

Why fucking me?

I felt so used. So powerless against everything going on around me. The lewd outfit beside me made me want to throw up, reminding me how the man who put me here had lied to me since we met. 

In that moment, I realized how well Tord had treated me over the years. Despite kicking me out of the bedroom after we had sex, his intentions were never just to fuck me and that's that. Not all the time, at least. The night before he left, Tord laid me on the bed and made love to me. Even if it wasn't truly love, it was the closest I'd ever come to it. Tord was there for me when it counted the most, comforting me after a rough night, kissing me when he saw that I needed it. The words 'I only want to do this with my lover' rang through my head, making me both upset and excited. 

If he only wanted to cuddle with his lover, why did he cuddle with me? Why did he kiss me, even when we finished with sex? Why did he hold me gently in his arms, making sure I was comfortable and happy when I was upset? Did he grow an attachment to me? Did he start having feelings for me? 

With Tord, it was impossible to tell. After all, when we both started doing this, we agreed never to have this turn into love. He was still the most annoying, dimwitted person I knew, but I couldn't help but miss him.

'Get dressed'

Green text appearing on my screen again, shaking me from my thoughts. Even without a voice, I read the text with an annoying tone, mocking it as I did so. 

'Get dressed'

If I could, I would've rolled my eyes and looked away. Glancing again at the 'uniform', hatred boiled up inside of me, disgust and aversion, among other things. It wasn't right to force me into anything remotely close to what the fucking pervert was doing. 

"No."

'Get dressed'

"No."

'Get dressed'

"Go to hell."

'Get dressed'

"Kiss my ass."

A short yet painful shock ran through my body, starting at my head and making my nerves tingle. It hurt like shit, but was over within a few seconds. Either way, it made me let out a small yelp of pain.

'Get dressed'

Letting a growl escape my lips, if someone was telling me this instead, I would've punched the shit out of them. 

"I'm not wearing that fucking outfit!"

The text went away for a few seconds, giving me time to breathe. I groaned when I saw the text once more, though was slightly concerned when I read it.

'The leader has been notified of your protest'

Great. Just fucking great. I had to deal with that asshole again. Hardly a minute went by before I heard the front door opening, the douchebag himself coming into view. He looked at me with a stern expression, my arms pulling the blanket up to hide more of my skin out of instinct.

"Why aren't you dressed yet?"

A glare shot his way, I turned to face away from him with furrowed brows.

"I'm not wearing something so lewd. I never even gave you consent for taking my clothing off."

Jason let out a sharp sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose before walking up to me with an angry expression.

"You don't have any free will here, Thomas. You're a prisoner in my base, and you'll wear what I tell you to wear." 

My hands gripped the blankets tighter, trying my best to stay as calm as possible while Jason seemed to stare through my soul. 

"I'm not wearing it." 

In a swift motion, I threw the clothing on the floor, my eyes traveling up to meet Jason's again. Surprisingly, he seemed calm, though his stoic face made me question if I could even read his expression.

"It's either the uniform or nothing, Thomas. I'm not joking."

A scowl full of absolute hatred was directed at Jason, in that moment not giving a shit about what he had in mind after this.

"Neither am I."

Without any time to react, Jason pulled the sheets completely off of me, my bare body shown in full to his sex-hungry eyes. I covered myself immediately, grabbing a pillow and holding it over my lower half, though I wasn't able to hide my red, embarrassed face. 

"Now, would you rather stay like this, or will you finally put on the uniform?"

Despite not being an official member of Tord's army, it felt wrong to even think of wearing one from another army. Maybe it was because it felt like I was betraying Tord, or maybe because I didn't want anybody other than that Commie to see me exposed, but wearing that outfit really did seem worse than this.

"Fuck you and your sick mind, Jason."

A moment of stillness passed, though it was broken when Jason walked up to me, grabbed my arm, and pulled me off the bed. My pillow fell on the ground, my entire body now unable to be hidden. My heart stopped when I saw that we were going to the door, head spinning as Jason pushed me out of the room.

The leader pulled me through the corridors, the amount of soldiers going from 0 to innumerable all too fast. Everyone's eyes were on me as I walked, a weak attempt of hiding my lower half being made by my free hand. Nevertheless, some men smirked, others cringed, some women giggled, while the others seemed either disgusted or turned on. My face didn't change from being embarrassed, red and puffy while I averted my eyes from everyone.

A few comments here and there, some lewd, others unfriendly, snickers ringing through my head. This felt worse that Tord's punishment, worse than the shock from 'disobeying' Jason. This was my dignity being taken away from me, forcing me on display for everyone to drool or laugh over.

The corridors soon led to two doors, Jason pushing through them to reveal a cafeteria full of hundreds of soldiers. It seemed like everyone's heads turned towards me, the room watching as I was dragged along by their leader. Everyone's chatter died down in an instant, the loudest sounds coming from Jason's footsteps accompanied by my bare feet pattering on the ground.

Being such a large room, it was clear this would also be used as something more than a cafeteria. A large stage was at the back end of the room, the leader forcing me up the stairs and into the middle of the higher level.

"Soldiers, gather around and look at this man."

Gather around and look at me?! I thought this weirdo just wanted me to himself or some shit. I had no clue what he was going to do, though fear still resided in every part of my being. This was all so, so wrong.

"This is Thomas Rigewill, previously the secretary of the infamous Red Leader. He's now part of our own, lovely army, and will be giving us the information he knows about Tord's next battle plans!"

There were at least three things I would've loved to correct about what Jason said, though he gave me no chance to speak up, as his own words silenced me.

"He'll be enjoying a wonderful meal cooked by our chefs for breakfast right here. But first, I'd like to ask all of my devoted soldiers to never take your eyes off him. Look at him."

Jason walked up behind me, pulling my hands away from my front, keeping them held behind my back. No amount of struggling could free me, as the situation took my courage and dignity. 

That would make sense. That's why I was put in such an embarrassing, uncomfortable situation. So that I wouldn't have the strength to run away. All I wanted was to hide and cry. It made me show weakness, allowing Jason to use me like a puppet, raising my hands above my head and holding me steadily. 

"Look at his body. Nice, right? Like a little fuck toy. I hear he was the Red Leader's own little plaything. I can see the appeal."

He turned me around, bending me forward to show everyone my backside. Tears had completely blurred my vision, a few light sobs slipping out of my dry mouth, going unnoticed by the perverted comments floating around the room. I was allowed to stand up again, turning around to see a few men smirking with lust in their eyes.

"Look as much as you want, but no touching, ok? This little beauty is meant for Leader only."

Jason gave me a dirty smirk, much like most of the men in the room. At least they weren't touching me, though it was still uncomfortable to watch some soldiers eye me as they secretly stroked themselves under the table. 

I could feel whatever confidence or courage I had left slip away from me, much like the tears that slid down my cheeks. The comments circling around me made me want to hide, my dignity down the drain as well as my hope for coming up with a plan of escape.   
All I wanted was to be with Tord.  
Just to be near him, know he'd be there to protect me.

Any thought of hatred towards him seemed so distant..  
I missed him more than ever.


	22. Thoughts

Eating naked in front of strangers jacking off was probably the worst experience of my life. More humiliating than the time I had to wear panties in high school because Tord stole my boxers. Ha, that seemed funny compared to the sad reality I was living in.

Jason pulled me away after I had been put on display for an hour, my stomach full of breakfast and my heart full of shame. A few men yelled out for Jason to bring me back, some even making comments about letting them stay with me alone. The leader silenced them with a single glare, turning to me which made my head hang low.

"Sorry, boys. We've got somewhere to be."

He yanked my arm, almost pushing me down the stairs while the whole room stared at us. Once we left, Jason let out a deep chuckle. I narrowed my eyes, feeling anger boil up inside of me, though I tried my best to keep it down.

"Nice job, Tommy. Most people up there just curl up into a ball. It's always a pain pulling them up and tying them to a pole. Usually I just throw them into the crowd and let those savages have their fun.   
The soldiers are probably a little upset that didn't happen, now that I think about it."

His stupid voice made me want to scream, wanting to get away from this asshole as fast as possible. In an instant, I yanked my arm out of his grip and turned a heel, speeding down the hall and away from the leader. The only thought on my mind was to get away from the pig, though I'd forgotten about the device I was wearing. An agonizing pain coursing through my body made me fall to the floor, my vision going black, aside from the green text I had grown used to seeing.

'Do not run from Grey Leader'

Footsteps sounded closer to me, echoing through the corridors, making me fear the evergrowing noise. I attempted to get up, though another shock running through me made my knees give up and buckle under my frail body. 

"I thought you'd learned your lesson by now, but I suppose that was just wishful thinking."

A harsh kick to my stomach knocked the wind out of my lungs, the force letting me know Jason was just going easy on me. His 'easy' still had me writhing in agony on the ground, clutching my stomach. An angry growl sounded, the pain slowly wearing off as more green text filled my screen.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I will behave and do as you wish."

The words leaving my mouth weren't my own, but no amount of fighting against them could stop my lips from moving. I could feel Jason smirking, a few steps walking away ringing in my ears.

"Good boy."

The visor granted my gift of eyesight once more, a few heavy pants rushing past my lips as I calmed down slightly. 

'Get up'

Taken over once more, my body shakily stood upright, my bare skin covered in goosebumps. Jason was a few meters away, glaring at me while motioning for me to come over. My legs walked on their own, body too exhausted to run away or even try escaping anymore. That fact seemed obvious, as Jason smirked while I tried taking steps to go down the hall.

"Wh-ere are we goi-ng..?"

Jason and I had been walking for around 10 minutes, giving my legs enough time to partially heal before Jason pushed my back. He made me walk faster, a door at the end of the hall seeming to be where we were going. He didn't answer my question, nor did he stop pushing me until we both stood before the door, the handle turning to walk inside.

A dark room was all I saw, though once I walked inside, a light shined down dimly in the middle of the room. A chair with straps on the arms and legs stood under the light, the door closing with a slam right behind me. Jason had disappeared into the darkness, leaving me to question what the hell I was supposed to do.

'Sit on the chair'

Question answered, I suppose. My legs walked over to the chair, bare skin on the oak beneath me. An unpleasant touch, I must say, though one I wasn't able to get around. I watched as two people entered the room, dressed in white. They walked over to me, strapping my arms and legs to the chair. 

"HEY! WHAT THE HELL?!"

Struggling against the restraints only got another searing pain to run through my body, instantly making me shut up. Chuckling menacingly, I heard Jason speak up from the void of darkness around me.

"Good to know you're finally learning your lesson."

The two strangers left the room without a word, leaving me strapped to a chair in a semi-dark room with a crazy leader of a fucking army. Though, before they left, one of them attached a cable to my headset, a click filling the silence before I was left alone with my thoughts for a while.

"Why am I here?"

Unlike before, my voice was full of confidence as I spoke, demanding answers from that godforsaken man swimming somewhere in the void sea around me.

"Let's play a game."

Ignoring my questions seemed to be something Jason enjoyed doing. Either way, his answer was laced with a smug grin, one I could've sworn I saw in the darkness directly before me.

"..What ki-"

"It's called thought pictures."

What was the point in even saying anything?  
Either way, the name of the game itself sounded sketchy, waiting for Jason to explain what he'd planned to do with me. I was left waiting for a few minutes, getting an answer the moment I opened my mouth to ask.

"I'm going to say something, and you'll show me what you've connected to that thought. Memories, pictures, information about battle plans the Red Leader is going to put into action. You name it, Tommy." 

That nickname made me more annoyed than Jason's explanation. The way he said it, the tone he used, his voice, the meaning behind it. It made me focus on that one word. The name he wasn't allowed to use.

"Don't call me Tommy."

A few seconds passed before an audible hum of confusion sounded, Jason's ugly face coming into view from the shadows. His confused expression soon melted into a smirk, his teeth glistening in the mild light.

"You're not in a position to tell me what to do, Tommy."

My teeth gritted in anger, I stared at Jason with a burning hate in my eye.

"Stop calling me that."

Jason walked up to me, standing in front of my body, a hand reaching up to tap my screen. I was confused, though in that moment, it didn't faze me one bit.

"Tommy."

The sound of a computer starting up was heard behind the leader, he himself stepping out of the way to show a large screen in front of us, hidden by the darkness. My blood went cold as I saw what the display in the shadows showed. 

A giggle was heard as it left my mouth, Tord laughing with me as he snuggled my neck. It was difficult to see a lot, though the many kissing sounds told me that Tord had been leaving pecks along my skin. 

I remembered this moment, the time when Tord had walked in on me crying years ago. He immediately did everything he could to cheer me up, showering me with cuddles and kisses on my neck. It was a bittersweet memory, though one I'd cherished for years.

"I know what'll cheer you up, Tom!"

He smiled warmly before leaving the room, my world growing slightly less cheery the longer he was gone. Nevertheless, Tord coming back brought that smile onto my face soon after. He held his hands behind his back as he snickered at me, sitting beside me on the bed again.

"Whatcha got there?"

He had held his hands out to me, presenting a stuffed bear with a line for eyes. It was slightly old and ragged, though still in a good condition. I had taken it into my hands, even the sight of the bear had calmed me down back then. 

"His name is Tomee Bear. I got him when I was a kid, but I don't think I need him as much as you do."

There was a short pause, my former self having cuddled the bear closely to my chest, looking up at the other with a warm smile.

"Thank you so much, Tord.."

He nodded with a smile, pulling me close to give me a kiss on the cheek. We weren't up to kisses on the lips back then, only having sex while partially intoxicated. Part of me missed the time when Tord wasn't so distant. He seemed to have changed as time went on, as our relationship seemed to only be based on sex, with feelings other than lust and partial hate for each other getting lost. 

"No problem, Tommy."

When Tord said the name, it sounded sweet and genuine. That was the key difference. Tord actually cared, putting meaning behind the name rather than using it to taunt me. Jason simply laughed when the recollection of the former event ended.

"Pathetic, little thing, aren't you? Getting worked up over a name because your sex buddy gave you a toy."

His deep chuckle was accompanied by the sound of his boots hitting the ground, standing beside me while ruffling my hair. It made my scowl even greater, about to bite him, though he pulled his hand away. 

"I'll admit, that was a waste of our time, but it did help with testing this machine out, so thank you. Now I know you probably won't get brain damage from this. Or maybe you will. This is the first time testing it."

I hoped to the moon and back that Jason was joking, his laugh burrowing into my mind when he saw my slightly afraid expression.

"Anyway, let's begin, shall we?"

Opening my mouth, I wanted to protest against the leader, but of course the green text wouldn't allow me my free will.

'Do not speak'

Jason's dirty hand tapped my screen again, gaining an agitated hum from me, to which he smirked widely.

"What comes to you when I say 'Battle Plans'?"

The moment those words left his mouth, the screen in the darkness came to life once more, though a strange sight coming to view. My cheeks turned red once I saw what was going on. It was the first meeting I'd had with Tord, the time where I decided to have a little fun with him under the table. The video showed my perspective of when I gave Tord a blow job under the desk. 

It was unclear to me why this memory played in correlation to 'Battle plans', though the voices from the soldiers made the reason clear.

"Sir, we --- battle plans! Can't y--- strategy to --- go around or --- from behind? --- fire a --- obot."

The voices were mostly drowned out, due to myself getting lost in the moment when I went down on Tord's member. Jason's face showed visible disgust, as well as a hint of annoyance. The video ended while he sighed sharply, looking at me with disappointment. 

A few moments went by, not a word spoken between us. My face was flushed pink from embarrassment, though I should've been used to that by then. The whole day was embarrassing for me.

"I didn't ask to see PORN, TOM. Show me 'Grey Army'."

I didn't expect to actually have a memory of that name, though I was surprised when the display showed another video. Unfortunately for me, it was another memory of Tord and me having sex. His chest was showing, his face one of lust with a few fresh hickeys on his neck. Tord's hands were placed on my hips while my hands were on his bare, toned chest. My sight kept changing, going up and down, making it pretty clear that I was riding Tord that time.

"Th-is is exactl-y what I need-!"

Tord panted out as I let out a shaky moan, my vision going a bit blurry in the memory.

"Wh-y a-are you s-o s-stress-ed, any-wa-way?"

Another moan cut me off, the screen going black with very little light shining through my eyelids. Huffs and pants rang through the room, the audio being all Jason could go on now.

"The fucking Grey A-rmy k-eeps popping up out o-f nowhere and att-acking. I ju-st wanna kill that godda-mn leader alre-ady!"

Light flooded the screen again, a surprised yelp accompanying the view of Tord gripping my hips and pushing me up and down faster. 

"W-e found out wh-ere the fuckers a-re! Tha-t asshole's gonna p-ay-"

A loud moan cut off all other sound, the sight of milky white cum shooting onto Tord's chest being shown. Tord grunted as he took over my job, quickly moving my hips while thrusting roughly before coming in me. It was clear on his face when he orgasmed. Shaky breaths were all that could be heard as I placed my head on his chest, slightly getting pushed off and placed beside the other instead.

"No cuddling, just.."

My past self had turned around in the bed to see Tord's exhausted face with his eyes closed, panting heavily as he held my hand. 

"Tha-nks for the help, Tom."

My eyes lifted, showing that I had been smiling. Once soft snores were heard, I'd shuffled closer to the other, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I love helping you, Tordy."

Once the screen went dark again, Jason hummed in interest. 

"So, the Reds know where we are, huh?" 

Gulping slightly, only now did I realize I may have potentially put the Red Army and Tord at risk. I knew things about Tord's plans I'd never paid attention to, now knowing how dangerous my position could be. I had attended every meeting, heard every rant Tord told me about his enemies, plans, weapons, everything that the Army could use in a war. And now, the Grey Army had the potential to know everything that I did. 

"Show me 'Attack' in correlation with 'Grey Army'."

Hardly any time passed before another memory played, this time being in a normal setting without anything sexual happening. It showed me sitting on the couch in Tord's office, looking at Paul and Patryk who were standing in front of the desk, Tord sitting behind it and listening to them speak. 

"We've been wasting so much time! If we don't do something soon, the Grey Army will attack and we won't have the upper hand. We need some kind of strategy, Tord! We need to prepare, not sit on our asses while you make out with your boyfriend!"

I remembered that line hurting slightly, feeling guilty for taking Tord's time to plan for an attack, and instead rolling around in bed with him. I'd looked away from the group, trying to distract myself by looking through the tablet and doodling on it.

"Once I get the robot, we'll launch an attack on them, ok? We'll be unstoppable. We just need to wait and hope they don't try anything. And if they do, we'll work with what we have."

Back then, I didn't know what Tord was talking about, not that I was really paying attention. His words flew through one ear and out the other, though were brought up at the worst of times. Looking back at Jason's face, I could see a crooked, frightening smile on his lips, harshly pulling the cable from my headset with a jolt. The action scared me, though not as much as hearing his gravelly laugh. 

"You've been more helpful than I expected, Thomas."

Those words had me on the edge of shaking, knowing for a fact that I had jeopardized Tord and his Army. I didn't know what Jason would start with the information I gave him, but I knew by the twisted smirk on his face that he was pleased. Very pleased. 

His expression never left his lips, haunting me as I was unbound from the chair and carried out by the people in white.


	23. Alone

Although the room I was held in was modern, seeming like an apartment with different rooms connected together, it felt more like a cage I was trapped in. Once I was brought from the memory chamber, as I liked to call it, the people in white led me back to the bedroom, locking me inside. No words spoken, no explanation, no piece of information to at least tell me what was going on. This entire Grey Army experience had done a number on my mind, unsure of what I was supposed to be thinking or feeling anymore. 

My dignity had basically been stolen as I was naked in front of the soldiers, my memories had been put on display for a twisted man with harmful intentions, and at the end of it all, I was sitting alone in a room for three more days.

Alone, with no explanation as to what was happening.

The room wasn't enormous or anywhere near as spacious as in the Red Army, but it wasn't small. I had a bedroom, bathroom, living room, and a small kitchen all put together. Every one was pretty basic, a toilet, sink, and towels in the bathroom. The kitchen had a mini fridge filled with water bottles, and a shelf filled with canned foods. A bed, nightstand, and drawer made up the bedroom, and a couch with a coffee table was placed in the living room. 

Not the worst place to be trapped in, though it didn't help that absolutely nothing was there to keep me entertained. A window and door seemed to be the only means of escape, though my headset went off as soon as I got close to them. 

Once I was thrown inside, I didn't have the energy to stand up. My legs ached from walking, my brain hurt from the device, my heart was squeezed to the point where I couldn't bring myself to feel anything but sadness and shame. I curled up in a ball, naked, lying on the floor of a room I had only been in once before. Flashbacks of Jason's sadistic face came to me, remembering how pleased he seemed with what my memories had shown him.

He now knew the Red Army wasn't prepared for an attack. They knew where the Grey Army base was, though without the robot Tord had told me about, they were screwed. Jason knew too much about Tord's base already, having been stationed as a soldier there for a while. 

Everything about Jason's past and present began fumbling around in my brain as I stayed still on the floor, hugging my knees and whimpering. 

Jason and I met at a bar, after Tord had left to go to the army. We had sex, he seemed sweet and caring. We met again in the army, his charms almost winning me over. But it was all an act. He already knew who Tord was, he probably knew when I moaned his name during sex.   
Jason played me, leading me down a hole, deeper and deeper until I couldn't get out.

Setting up a relationship by sleeping with me when I was drunk, acting like a gentleman, being charming and sweet to lure me into a false sense of security. Of course I'd go to him with my troubles, tell him about what was bothering me, simultaneously feed him information for another goddamn army. Being stationed as a Red Army soldier gave him the perfect opportunity to do all of this. Get information on the Red Army by being a part of it, be a close companion to me, having the perfect moment to kidnap me and suck any useful information from my mind. 

I hated it. I hated being in this room, hated being naked on the ground, in a new environment some crazy psychopath was in, too. 

So, as tears rolled down my pale skin, landing on the carpet of soft material, all I could think of was home. My real home, in the house with Edd and Matt. When I closed my eyes, I could see Edd and Matt fighting over who gets which controller on the couch, Edd eventually winning and pushing Matt onto the ground. My frown let up when I saw Matt lunge towards the other, a sad smile returning when he started chasing Edd out of the living room. 

A soft shiver ran down my spine when I thought of something else, laying on a bed while Tord rubbed my cheek slowly. One hand on my bare waist, the other on my skin, his thumb grazing over it while the smell of alcohol and smoke filled the room. His mouth moved, though I didn't hear anything. That didn't matter when he kissed me, the fake feeling almost tricking me into believing it was real. The way his lips pressed against mine, his hands feeling up my body, pushing me down on the bed while he hovered over me. Cherry blossoms seemed to flow around us, pink and yellow surrounding the sight of the man going down to kiss my neck. I felt comfort, warmth embracing me as my back arched. 

His mouth moving again, I couldn't hear what he was saying. He looked deeply into my eyes, an expression on his face I'd never seen on him before. Reading his lips, he spoke slowly, three words mouthed out while a pinkish blush dusted his cheeks. Three words I'd never heard him say before, yet they made me so happy to hear, looking up at Tord with tears of joy and a smile on my lips. 

And as I opened my eyes, everything was gone. The sight of Tord making love to me had disappeared, the touch on my bare skin melting away as I went back to staring at the carpet. I shivered slightly as cold air flowed past me, the window having probably been opened while I was with Jason before. 

I shakily stood up, my legs hardly strong enough to carry my frail body to the bed. New clothing had been placed on the blanket, now simply a grey nightgown with nothing else. It was better than being bare and naked, so I slipped on the piece of clothing, stumbling into bed while covering myself in the sheets. I would've given anything to have Tord hug me from behind, petting my hair softly while I drifted to sleep. Instead, my eyes shut off the sight of the bland reality I was in alone. 

Mornings seemed the same, as if my life was on repeat. Waking up to the sight of the sun beaming through, food on the nightstand, a note with my name written on it. After I'd gotten up, I'd spend some time in bed, waiting for the day to slowly pass by. No one would visit me, no one would come to the room unless it was to give me food. Even then, I'd be held back by two people while someone swapped my breakfast tray with my dinner one. No one would share a word with each other. 

Every passing day made me feel more and more alone. I craved a companion, someone to talk to, share stories with, look into the eyes of. While I had to admit, watching the sunrise and sunset perfectly from the large window was lovely, it was nothing compared to seeing the usual smile on Tord's face grow when he was happy. It took a lot to make him genuinely smile, though when he did, it was worth it. 

Hour after hour, my mind seemed to conjure anything up to entertain me, thoughts, memories all playing a role in helping me escape reality. Laying on the bed meant I would think about Tord, his soothing voice one that could make me melt in bliss. Perhaps it was idealization, but the way Tord was portrayed in my mind made me feel wonderfully in love, if one could call it such a thing. 

Sitting on the couch, I wondered what was happening back in Tord's army. Surely they'd realized I was gone by then, perhaps as well as another soldier by the name of Jason disappearing. If Tord already knew where the Grey Army was located, there was a possibility of him initiating an attack while I was captured, but I didn't hope on it. As far as I'd heard, Tord had more than one enemy. Maybe he didn't even care if I was gone. We fought before this happened, after all. 

As for using the time wisely, I'd attempted to get out of the cage I was held in on numerous occasions, though the headset recognized that immediately. A few painful zaps here and there, though each one felt more or less the same. Almost as if I was, dare I say, adjusting to the horrid feeling. It still hurt like hell, but I'd felt it enough times to stay standing instead of buckling over in pain. At least something good came of the torture. I hoped it was good.

A lot of shit had been done to me in the base. The sun rising and setting only reminded me of how much time I was wasting away in the room. I found a grey shirt and shorts in a drawer of the nightstand, usually wearing that rather than the nightgown during the day. 

Three days of silence passing by before a knock was heard. A knock on the door, followed by a voice ringing from the other side. My blood ran cold as I turned my head towards it, surprised by the sudden interruption. 

"Thomas Rigewill, you're required to be brought to Grey Leader."

Obviously, it was a soldier, having a monotonous voice that basically gave off an 'I'm dead inside' vibe.  
Basically the same feeling I'd gotten since I'd been there.

The door opened shortly after they spoke, revealing two men in grey uniforms, staring at me with dull expressions. They gave me no time to react before instantly grabbing my arms, ignoring my loud protests. 

"HEY, LET ME GO! I DON'T WANNA TALK TO THAT ASSHOLE!"

My struggling was in vain, the soldiers pulled me out of the room, legs kicking and arms pulling against the hands of strange men I'd never seen before. Of course, my headset recognized my struggling, sending a painful zap through me. Thankfully, it hardly hurt any longer, the pain being familiar to me by now. It was clear I wouldn't escape from the soldiers' grips, eventually giving up and letting them drag me to Jason's office. At least I made it as difficult as I could for them to do so. 

It took minutes before I was in front of Jason once more, his evil smirk burning into my eyes, hands behind his back as he made way for his men. They threw me on the ground, earning a grunt from me. A dark chuckle played behind me, accompanied by the sound of the door closing, letting me know I was now alone in the room with Jason. 

Without restraints? Wearing loose clothing? No security? Strange, how they believed I wasn't a danger to the leader.  
Or maybe it was an indirect insult. 

"Welcome to my little wonderland, Thomas! Also known as my office, but it's a nice change of scenery, isn't it?" 

Once I reluctantly stood up and dusted myself off, I took a moment to observe the room I had been flung into again. The walls were white, carpet a light brown. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling, a desk near the back of the room made of what I could only assume to be maple wood. A revolving chair was placed behind it, two large paintings of Jason in a uniform hung on the back wall. They made him look ridiculously narcissistic, though some part of me had respect for the artist who managed to draw even one. It takes a while to paint, but I had my suspicions that Jason made them hurry up by his own means. 

Letting out a huff and rolling my eyes to look elsewhere, I spoke with an annoyed tone.

"Why the fuck am I here?"

Jason coming into view, it made me sick to see the same smirk plastered on his lips as they had been earlier. He hummed in content at my question, seeming to enjoy the confused and overall irritated state I was in. 

"I would've thought you'd want to get out of that other, boring bedroom. You were in there all alone for a while." 

Clicking my tongue, my arms folded over my chest while my eyes stared blankly at the other man.

"Better than being with you."

As expected, Jason simply laughed, as he always seemed to do. Not one of light-hearted joy, rather one with a tone that could send chills down your spine. 

"Well then, I wanted to see that darling face of yours. Your smile always brightens up my day." 

I gave Jason the most irritated glare I could manage, which simply made his smirk grow. Rolling my eyes, an annoyed scoff left my lips, avoiding eye contact with the man again. 

"Don't wanna talk to me? Fair enough, if you had any control of the situation here, Thomas." 

With one sudden movement, Jason grabbed my chin, forcing my face mere centimeters away from his. His breath reeked of cigarettes, it made Tord's cigars smell like roses. 

"I can make you talk, Tom. I'm sure there are more pressing secrets lurking in your head that you're aware of."

After going through constant pain caused by own 'eyes', having my mind basically invaded by some machine, and being punished by the devil himself, Jason's words didn't threaten me very much. In fact, they made me chuckle softly. 

"And how will you do that? Punch me? Zap me? Throw me into a torture chamber where I'll be begging for any sort of break? I don't know shit, Jason. And frankly, I'm not selling out an entire army just for my benefit." 

A pause lurking between us, it took a moment for Jason to pull away, though when he did, I didn't expect him to pull something out from his desk. He sat on his chair behind it, placing a few Smirnoff bottles on the table before looking at me with a smile. 

"Don't think I don't know your favourite drink, Thomas. Your mouth is probably watering at the sight of it already." 

Staring at the beautiful bottles in front of me, I had to admit that Jason wasn't wrong. It'd been too long since I tasted the sweet, familiar alcohol on my tongue. The thought of chugging every drop down had me in a trance, wanting the warm embrace of inebriation to take me away to a place far away from reality. 

But not with a fucking psychopath sitting two meters away from me. Jason could even turn me away from Smirnoff, which was very hard to do.

"Why do you want me to drink? Is this thing gonna go off when it thinks I'm drunk or some shit?"

I pointed to my headset, earning a shake of the head from Jason, as well as another disgusting smirk. 

"You didn't seem to hold back when we first met. You were drunk as fuck. Not to mention, you were pretty open with me. 

The reminder of how unstable I was when that happened came back to me, remembering how little it took for me to pull Jason closer and connect our lips together. Did Jason want that to happen again? Even drunk me would never go near that asshole after what he did. 

"No, thanks. I'd rather stay in my room until I die." 

'Sit down'

Jason must've tapped a command into my headset, because my ass was pushed onto a chair in front of the desk in an instant. He let out a chilling chuckle, linking his fingers together and propping his head on top of them. 

"You'll cave, Thomas. I'll wait until it happens." 

Arms folded over my chest, a blank stare was directed at Jason as I leaned back in my seat. 

"You'll be waiting until the day you die." 

He seemed to take my words as a challenge, staring at me in a knowing and lecherous way. If he thought I would let him pick my brain while I'm drunk and do absolutely anything to me, he was the most mistaken he'd ever been in his life. 

Perhaps it was luck, or some unbelievable miracle, but when the room began flashing red, alarms blaring around us, a wide smile wouldn't wipe off of my face.   
Hearing those three words gave me newfound hope, excitement and adrenaline rushing through my veins everytime it played over the speakers.

"RED ARMY ATTACK."


	24. Standoff

Hope. Something I desperately lacked for the past few days, though regained almost entirely in a few seconds. 

Alarms blaring, lightly flashing red around us, Jason was too distracted by what was happening in the room to notice how I shot out of my seat. The leader realized my actions all too late, catching my gaze right as I smashed a Smirnoff bottle against his face. A loud groan of pain came from the man, hardly heard over the sounds emitting from the speakers. I didn't stick around to see if Jason was down or not, rushing in the direction of the door.

'Stop running'

Agonizing zaps of pain were sent through my body, but the adrenaline in my veins, the knowledge that Tord's army was here, a chance to escape this hellhole, they overtook the power of my headset. No amount of green text in my way stopped me, my body finally taking control of my mind. 

Bursting through the doors, my feet quickly carried me down the dark grey halls, which were now flooded with red, blinking lights. I didn't know where I was going, my only thought being that I needed to get as far away from the office as possible, hopefully running into Tord's soldiers on the way there. 

My heavy pants filled my ears, fear and excitement causing my legs to carry me even faster. Another shot of pain, this time making my legs give out on me. I'd grown accustomed to the feeling, but this zap was more intense than any others had been. I fell to the floor, hitting my headset against the cold tiles on the ground. 

A cracking sound filled my ears, my body shaking on the floor before gathering the strength to pull myself together and sit up. My eyes were clenched, head pounding from the impact of the fall, but I had to keep going. This was the only chance I would get. 

I sat on my knees, opening my eyes, only to be shocked by an unclear vision of what was around me. It seemed as if a computer screen hadn't been fully opened, reality being altered every millisecond. My visor kept glitching, my view filling with off colours, the hallway tilting and turning upside down. It played with my balance, my head spinning and growing annoyed by the changing scenery with flashing lights. 

It was still the hallways in the Grey Army base, my path still shown, even if it wasn't clear. Pushing my legs off of the ground, I regained enough strength and motivation to keep running, away from the mad man I had left in the other room. He could appear behind me at any moment, Grey Army soldiers tying me down to a chair with Tord trying to find me.

I wasn't going to let that happen. 

My body was weak, mind numbing from my damaged vision, though I was only set on one thing. Air flew past me, no more commands or zaps coming from the headset to slow me down. Sweat covered my body, breath fast and heavy as I ran, turning left at a corner, the hallways deserted. 

With no idea where I go, I followed down the hall's path, blood running cold when I heard a distant voice boom through the corridors shouting my name. Jason's words were laced with anger, the volume scaring me half to death when I realized he was all too close. 

"-ACK HERE, BITCH!"

No need to turn around and see if Jason was there, I could hear his fast paced footsteps thundering a few corridors away. My heart rate picked up just as my feet did, almost making me trip when I took another right turn. 

Corner after corner, the lights still flashing, vision glitching, alarm booming through the building, Jason hot on my tail - I'd never felt such a rush of fear in my life. This wasn't some fairy tale, I didn't know how this would end, or if it even would for that matter. 

I was out of breath by the time I made it to the end of yet another hallway, the building seemingly going on forever. Part of me was ready to give up as soon as I stopped running, no longer hearing the loud footsteps of the man that had been chasing me. My legs were numb, breath entering and leaving my body all too quickly, I had truly never felt so tired. 

I knew I would keep going. I just didn't know where to.

Until, as if a God had heard my unspoken prayer, it seemed as if the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard call out to me. In a tone of panic, yes, but time seemed so much slower once I turned my head to the right, seeing the silhouette of the most gorgeous asshole I'd ever met. 

"TORD!"

My smile accompanied by tears, I began sprinting down the hallway once more, this corridor seeming longer than any other in the building. Tord ran my way as well, a group of soldiers following closely behind. The nearer he came, the slower time seemed to move, my body no longer in touch with my mind as all I could think about was how much I wanted to jump into that man's arms, bury my head into his neck and cry with a smile on my lips. Even with a changing, distorted vision, I was able to clearly see the man in front of me. 

We ran closer and closer, every detail, from his caramel hair to his dirtied up shoes, coming into view. He wore a face of concern and worry, a layer of sweat visible even from meters away. I was so close. So close to tackling Tord to the floor, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. 

Somehow, I missed the footsteps of another person running down a hallway perpendicular to where we were. My digital eyes went wide as my gaze was averted from Tord, feet skidding to a halt as soon as the man ran in front of me, holding a gun to my head. 

The side of Jason's face was covered in blood, glass shards sticking from his skin, an expression of loath directed at me. I looked over at Tord, now being stopped meters away from the two of us. Fast and heavy breaths filled my ears, panic rushing through my veins, though I froze. The look of death was in Jason's eyes, blood and tattered clothing only adding to the overall fear inducing appearance. Another glance over at Tord showed me how he held his hands out, knees bent, a position of being careful while knowing things were dangerous. 

"One wrong move and I'll blow his brains out." 

Jason's words sent my mind racing, a large glitch turning my screen a painful mix of colours, no longer letting me know which way was up or down anymore. The man's eyes were directed at Tord and his soldiers, though his gun was pointing in my direction. He could've killed me if he wanted to. Right then and there, in front of Tord and seemingly every other man and woman I'd seen around the base. 

Of course, the soldiers all had their rifles pointed at the Grey Leader, but a click from Jason's gun got Tord to raise his arm with his eyes fixed on me and the other. 

"Lower your weapons." 

An order from the enemy leader, though Tord repeated it for his men to hear. 

"Lower them."

Voice cold and stern, he couldn't afford to send me a look of pity. I knew he was scared I would get hurt, I knew exactly what was going through his mind. He wanted to protect me, even being the mighty, prideful man who never liked showing weakness, I'd seen him in the worst of times. 

Even if I couldn't see him properly, I knew he was trying to hide his fear for my life. 

"You know if you hurt Thomas, we won't stand for it. There's no way out, Grey Leader. You're not getting out of here alive." 

A low chuckle leaving his lips, Jason kept his attention directed on Tord, his gun loaded while still pointing in my direction. 

"Maybe if your little toy gets hurt, the Red Army will fall." 

His lips curled up into a dark smile, shaking his head slightly. 

"It's not about live or die. It's about win or lose. If I make it out alive or not, it doesn't matter as long as the Grey Army wins the war. There will be other leaders, Red. You can't get rid of us. But, while I'm here, I'll at least do them a favour." 

Time seemed to slow down once more as Jason moved the gun away from my head, pointing it towards Tord. I knew what was happening. I knew what Jason would do. Take out either Tord or me, the Red Army would perish under the lack of appropriate command. The Grey Army would have the perfect chance to seize control over Tord's base, the leader mourning over the death of someone close to him, unable to think clearly, lead his soldiers safely through battle. Maybe it was Jason's plan from the start. 

Take either one of us out. 

Point the gun at him. 

Kill the Red Leader. 

My eyes shot open wide, body reacting before my mind could even process what was happening. His hand was on the trigger, my hands were on the barrel, pulling the gun out of Tord's direction as the shot was fired. 

I let out a bloodcurdling scream when I felt a searing pain in my left arm, the sight of red dripping down my elbow filling my eyes. Immediately, the room was filled with gunshots, my body frozen as my eyes were glued to Jason's body falling dead on the floor, blood trickling out of him and creating a large puddle on the hallway ground. 

Confused, scared, shocked, this was too much. Too much for me to handle. My body felt numb, breath unsteady and hitching with every inhale. My back hit the wall, my mind finally shutting off as I could hardly process anything that was happening. 

Blinking lights. Alarms, screams. Pain, blood, death. Tord. Jason. Red. 

The feeling of hands cupping my cheeks felt senseless, the sight of Tord's worried, caring eyes looking at me. He slid to the floor with me, my hands reaching up shakily to cover his own. My lips trembled, eyes soft and full of pain. Through the endless shouts and alarms, people shouting for a doctor and asking Tord what to do, I could clearly hear the leader himself speaking only to me, never breaking eye contact. 

"It'll be ok, Tom. It'll all be ok."

His lips on mine, hands holding my head softly, I knew I was going to be alright with him. He pulled away, resting his forehead against mine as he spoke once more. 

"Rest, Thomas."

A weak attempt at a nod was my only response, feeling Tord lift me up before I finally let my mind go blank. Blood covering my left arm, the loss of it made me weak, eventually letting darkness overtake me as Tord carried me out of the base.


	25. Kisses

Darkness, something I should've been used to by then. No light reaching my eyes or shining down on me, perhaps it was nighttime when I woke up. My head was pounding, my senses slowly coming alive as I could feel the aching pain all over my body. Legs overused, painfully numbed. My left arm felt tight on a certain spot on my upper arm, as if something had been wrapped around it. 

My memory was fuzzy, too many thoughts and feelings intensely burning my brain, it was hard to focus on just one. Rather than wrap my mind around what had happened before, I decided to simply focus on what I could feel at the moment. My eyes didn't seem to be able to open, frightening me a bit, though the feeling of the large device on my face was gone. 

I brought my left hand up, though let out a hiss and set it back down when I felt a sharp pain in my arm, choosing to move the right one instead. It seemed to be fine, no pain residing anywhere. 

Bringing my hand up to my eyes, my fingers cautiously tapped on some material covering my lids, eventually realizing it must've been a bandage. That would explain why I couldn't open my eyes. 

A thought crossed my mind.   
The bandages were probably wrapped over my eyes to keep them closed. But in all honesty, I didn't care. I needed to see where I was, what happened, why my other arm was in pain. 

The bandages lifted slowly, it took a bit of strength to loosen them enough to pull them up. At first, it was still difficult to open my eyes, lids feeling heavy and as if they were stuck together. I could sense a dim light shining around me, eventually blinking a bit while squinting. 

It hurt to widen my eyes, my vision blurry and out of focus. The room around me seemed to be filled with warm light, though darkness was still looming. Turning my head to the side, I saw some kind of large blob, unable to make out details of what it was. I seemed to be on a bed, but it was almost impossible for me to see any details. I felt blind, even with limited vision. 

Wanting to know what the blob was, my head moved closer to it, careful not to put too much weight on any part of my body. I was too weak to do that. Eventually, I regained a bit of focus for my eyes, eventually noticing different colours, small details, even being able to hear a rhythmic sound.   
Breathing. 

Caramel on the top, blue and red mixing in the middle, black on the bottom. Tord was laying beside me in his work clothes, seemingly asleep. The questions came to mind, wanting to know how long I'd been here. What happened while I was unconscious? 

The walls were a dark red, sunlight flooding in through a window on the far side of the room. Still slightly out of focus, I could see a white band over my left arm, the same place where I'd been feeling the most pain. A flashback of Jason's blood covered face came to me, the sound of a gunshot filling my ears while I'd clutched onto my arm and fell to the ground. 

Right. I was shot.   
I must've passed out soon after, because my memory cut off as soon as Tord came close to my face. Letting out a soft sigh, my eyes were directed at Tord once more, smiling tiredly when I saw his peaceful face. I remembered how worried he looked when I fell down, as if he was sharing my pain. Almost as if he was hurt, too. 

That didn't mean anything more than platonic care, of course. He was just looking out for me, probably annoyed that my disappearance caused him to attack against an army unprepared. Though, from my side of it all, I was more than grateful to see him. The place I was kept in was hell, making any fight with Tord seem like a dream. 

I missed his smile, those rosy lips curling up or leaving soft kisses on my skin. I missed his stormy, grey eyes, ones that gave off a strong glare to others, yet would sometimes soften when he looked at me. His deep, accented voice, well built body, all the way from his oddly done hair to his perfectly polished shoes. I missed every part of him, more than I'd ever care to admit. 

I missed.. my sex buddy.   
Strange thought. 

Not wanting to be the only one awake, I lightly shook him by the shoulder with my right arm, watching with a smile as he grumbled softly before fluttering his eyes open. He let out a small grunt as his eyes squinted, before eventually focusing on my face. He took a moment, pausing to realize where he was and what was happening, before quickly shooting up in bed, taking my right arm slightly with me. I let out a slight yelp of pain, watching as Tord's face morphed from sleepiness to concern and care. 

"S-sorry, Tom! Are you ok? How do you feel? How's your arm? What's the last thing you remember?" 

He hit me with a swarm of questions, none I could keep up with, but his worried face and rambling made me chuckle lightly. His voice wasn't his usual, stern tone. Instead, it almost seemed melted, softer with gentle care wrapped in it. Like his voice was hugging me. 

I may have had brain damage. 

"Tord, slow down! I can't handle so many words." 

Another giggle leaving my lips, his mouth instantly closed, looking slightly embarrassed, though nodded firmly. 

"Alright, then. Are you ok, Thomas?"

He laid back down again, his head close to my own while his body was turned on its side. I could feel his hot breath hitting my cheek, the touch making me smile in a strange way. 

"I'm fine. Just.. what happened? Where are we?" 

Tord smiled warmly, pushing some of my hair back from my forehead. The action was soothing, Tord's sweet, caramel voice making me feel lighter on the inside. 

"Firstly, I want you to tell me the last thing you remember." 

Thinking back, it was hard to tell what had actually happened before I woke up. My visor was damaged, turning my vision upside down or to the side. So much happened, my brain hurt to even go back to the memories of it all. My head tilted to face the ceiling, letting out a light sigh. 

"I remember... running. I was running from Jason. Through halls. Sirens, flashing lights... I saw you. Then Jason. I remember a gun, then I remember Jason being shot. That's it." 

I didn't mention the pain I remembered feeling, possibly due to me feeling it at a lesser degree back then. Looking over to the other, I could see him nodding his head slightly, brows furrowed as he seemed to stare at nothing in particular. After a few moments, he seemed to snap out of his gaze, eyes meeting each other as he leaned in and gave my forehead a light peck. 

"Right.. Well, Grey Leader shot your arm before we killed him. It thankfully missed the bone, but you still bled like crazy. After you passed out, I carried you out of the base and let my medical team treat your wounds and get those weird goggles off of your face." 

My brow raised, looking over at Tord with curiosity. 

"Did they find out anything about the goggles?" 

Tord looked curious about my question, though answered with slight reluctance. 

"Yeah, apparently it was designed to connect to certain nerves. Something to do with pain reception? I'm not sure, my science team wasn't able to find out much. But they did say it was designed to have perfect eyesight. Can you... see without it?"

A light hum left my lips, looking around the room while my eyes painfully tried to focus on certain object, though everything seemed fuzzy.

"It's harder to see. Everything's pretty blurry."

My eyes eventually led back to Tord's, making out a concerned expression as his hand softly stroked my cheek. The action was caring, his fingers lovingly moving against my cheek made me feel even more comfortable.

"I'll ask my team what we can do about that."

I closed my eyes, snuggling into Tord's chest while trying not to wince at the pain of moving my left arm. Hearing a light sigh, I could feel Tord wrap one arm around me, the other still stroking my cheek. There was silence between us, spare for the constant beating of Tord's heart I could hear in his chest.

Being away from Tord really made me realize how much I missed this. Simply being close to him. Feeling his body wrap me in his heat, breaths mixing while he made sure I was ok. His arm that had wrapped around me moved to my hair, carding through it slowly.

"Tom."

I hummed, smiling lightly at how soft his voice was.

"What happened to you in there?"

My hand slightly clenching Tord's clothed chest, the question had taken me by surprise. Why? It was just a question. Nothing abnormal.

But the thoughts.  
The memories.  
The feeling of something drilling into my head to show things I didn't want anyone to see.  
That goddamn machine.  
That fucking headset.  
Jason.  
That goddamn asshole, Jason.

"I was in a room. I couldn't get out, the headset was able to hurt me or make me do things I didn't want to do.  
Say things I didn't want to say.  
There was a machine.."

My breath hitched at the memory. Cold, metallic wires running across the ground, a screen showing dark secrets I didn't know I was keeping.

Dignity stolen. Brain tampered with. Heart broken and beaten to a pulp. Lonely. Scared. Cold. So, so cold.

"Thomas?! You're crying..!"

Tord's voice brought me out of my mind, looking up at him and finally noticing tears steaming down my face. I brought my right hand up, feeling the soft water transfer onto my fingers. Two hands cupped my cheeks, tilting my head up slightly to catch Tord's eye.

Before letting him ask, I decided to answer the question on his mind already.

"The machine was hooked up to the headset. Jason would... say something, and if I heard the word somewhere, it would play the memory of it. I don't know how it works. I just know he used it for information.  
He knew the Red Army knew the location of their base, and that you aren't ready for an attack. He knew that because of me."

Guilt laced in my voice, it quivered, eventually quieting when a few more tears slipped from my already blurry eyes. Tord shushed me quietly, hugging my body close to his own while snuggling his face into my hair. 

"Tommy, it's not your fault. You couldn't stop it. It's not your fault. It's not."

Repeating himself, his own tone was similar to mine. Soft, quiet, yet loud enough for me to hear every word he whispered. It was true, I couldn't stop what Jason did. I tried fighting, I tried, but I was so weak. 

"I-I'm sorry I'm s-o weak. A-and that I co-ouldn't stop i-t. And tha-"

My last word cut off, Tord's lips pressed against mine to shut me up. My thoughts melted away, tears falling from my chin and running down my neck, but I couldn't think to stop them. We shared soft kisses with each other, hands holding my frail body carefully, eventually giving me room to breath when Tord pulled away. 

"You're not weak, Tom. I saw how brave you were. You got out of that place because you're strong. You're in my arms because you're strong. If you weren't, neither of us would be here right now.   
You took a bullet for me, fought through the pain that made you cry. I'm so, so proud of you, Tommy."

He placed another peck on my forehead, the feeling lingering as a sad smile painted across his face. 

"It's ok to cry, Tom. You don't have to be strong around me." 

I let out everything stuck in my mind, behind my lips. Crying, letting tears fall while clenching Tord's shirt. Pain stinging in my left arm, body numb and empty. 

Tord stayed close, listening to everything I was letting out. My heart pouring out, his hands there to cup it and keep it warm. He kissed me, unlike any other had done before. No one else could make my heart beat as fast as Tord made it. No one else could plant such soft, gentle kisses on my skin. No one else could make me get so lost in my thoughts, body longing for a manly touch, eyes lidded with need building inside of me as Tord did. 

Through the kisses Tord landed on my lips and the touch on my skin, a question buried itself deep into my mind. One I would never have thought if Tord didn't care to even listen to me, my heart fluttering as I couldn't take my mind off of it. 

'Am I in love?'


	26. Scared

"I'll take care of you." 

Tord guided me from the bed, my vision fuzzy and blurry as hell, objects only appearing in colour rather than in shape. Using him as a crutch, I was able to make it to the bathroom, hearing Tord close the door while I sat on the lid of the toilet. My left arm was deemed useless, slightly numbed as I tried to move it as little as possible. 

"I'm gonna run you a bath, ok? Stay here while I get clothes and a towel." 

Walking to the tub, I watched as the misshapen figure of Tord turned on the water and went through the door. After he left the room, I sat in silence while waiting on his return. We'd spent a while in bed, holding each other closely and kissing. His lips felt so wonderful against my own. Slightly chapped, yet coated in a layer of saliva, so sweet and addictive. His natural smell, so intoxicating. His voice laced with sugar, but his tone so demanding, yet soft. It was hard to describe how I felt when he kissed my neck, sensations on overload when I felt shivers go down my spine. 

How his hands traveled my body, lips and tongue leaving hot drool on my skin. The room smelling of sex and sweat. I missed those sensations, despite less than a week passing since the last intimate act between us. My heart pounded in my chest when I thought about Tord touching me, mouth going dry at the thought of him inside of me. 

With a quick thump, the door opened, surprising me as I had gotten too lost in my thoughts. 

"I got you a towel and some loose clothes for sleeping." 

The figure of Tord stepped into the room holding some off-colour material, presumably the objects he said he'd bring back. His head turned in my direction, Tord walked up to me and knelt down to my level, my eyes desperately trying to focus on his facial features. It was painful, fear striking my heart when I couldn't see those clear, grey eyes of his. 

"Hey, whats wrong, Tommy?" 

A hand cupping my cheek, I could barely make out the concerned expression on Tord's face for a second. My mind clouded with panic, I'd forgotten my injury as I tried lifting my left hand to hold Tord's, immediately feeling a sharp pain shoot from my arm. The pain pushed me off the edge, my eyes leaking with slow tears, getting Tord to respond by cupping both of my cheeks. 

"Tom! Hey, don't cry! I'm here, Thomas.. You're safe..."

Pulling my head closer, Tord pet my hair while trying to calm me down, kissing my neck every so often. My eyes clenched shut, tears eventually stayed in, the pain in my arm withering away to a lesser, bearable degree. 

Tord calmed me down, my breath shuddering and hitching with every inhale. My sobs stopped filling the room, simmering down and joining in with Tord's heavy breaths. We stayed still, my right hand landing on his chest and clenching his shirt while my forehead hit Tord's shoulder. 

"I can't see, Tord. I can't see, and it scares me. I-I can't see where I am. I can't see myself. I can't see you... and I'm scared. I'm so, so scared, Tord."

Soft pecks ranging from my forehead to my neck overtook any painful sensation, Tord's fingers tangling in my hair while quieting my thoughts. 

"Close your eyes, Tommy. Just keep them closed."

I tried nodding, my eyes relaxing as I simply stayed sitting, being held in Tord's arms. I missed this so much, feeling him protect me from the outside world that harmed me. I loved being close to him. I loved his touch, his lips spreading kisses over my body. The way he could make me feel like my entire body was on fire, nerves tingling and breath steaming. Was that love, or was it lust? 

"I have to turn the bath off, Tom. One second." 

A firm nod, feeling Tord slip away from my grasp while my eyes were plunged into darkness. I could've opened them at any moment, though the blurry objects and bright colours honestly struck fear into my heart. All I could go by was the sound of Tord turning off the tap for the bath, footsteps leading up to me again as a warm hand on my cheek made me flinch. 

"Undress, Thomas. You need to bathe." 

His voice sounded less rough than usual, though not as soft as before. I hummed in agreement, using his hand on my cheek to find his arm, pulling myself off of the toilet. Tord did the work of undressing me, being careful as he took off my shirt and brought it over my left arm. A slight hiss of pain left my lips, though I could tolerate a small sting. 

Tord's hands trailed down my body as he went to my pants. He knelt down, my hand resting on his head for balance as I felt him unzip and pull down my trousers. My legs shook as I kept myself up, body exhausted and almost collapsing as I had to lift my feet one by one off the ground. 

Once Tord removed every item of clothing I was wearing, it was just a matter of leading me to the tub. I opened my eyes for reference, biting my inner cheek to keep down my cries of fear when I couldn't tell the difference between the bathtub and water. A soft hush kept my panic down, Tord supporting me as I made my way into the body of water. 

"You got this, Tom. Good job." 

It took Tord's strong arms to lower me into the water, leaving my arm out to avoid getting the bandage wet. I sighed softly in relief once relaxation flooded my body, the feeling of water around me making my mind go blank and my eyes shut lightly. For the first time in days, I felt peaceful, Tord's fingers softly running over my hair, soothing me. 

We were silent for the most part, simply letting the sound of our breaths and water softly splashing around fill our ears. My head lulled back to the edge of the tub, letting out a light breath when it hit the warm surface. My mind could finally clear, steam rising around my body and swirling around in the air. It felt gentle, the warm liquid swimming around me, no danger in sight, no needing to hide. Tord right beside me, I felt safe. I'd completely forgotten what had even happened before being captured, the past seeming far away in the distance while I stayed in the present. 

The touch on my head, Tord's fingers, smoothly carding through my hair. Caring, almost loving, his sweet aroma filling my head. Feelings start bubbling up as Tord continued the action. Heart starting to flutter, mind reaching around bends and twists, finding a doorway to thoughts I never expected to have. 

A flash of Tord's smile popped into my head. His lips curling upwards, cheeks lifting, eyes following the movement. Soft, pink blush on his skin, those slightly crooked yet oddly perfect teeth just peeking out from his mouth. I loved his lips. They were so wonderful to kiss, to feel all over my skin, peppering my body with small touches. 

As soon as the sweet thought of Tord came to mind, too soon did it leave. A less heart warming thought came to me, a memory of myself in the room Jason had locked me in. Alone, hopeless, stripped of my pride. Only days had passed, though it felt like weeks to me. I remembered crying. Crying on the carpet floor, hugging a pillow, blankets strew around me to keep the illusion of warmth alive. 

I remembered thinking about my fight with Tord. I ran away from him, hating him, unable to wrap my head around what kind of bullshit he was throwing at me. Granted, I still didn't, but thought of my last conversation with Tord being a fight had a big impact on me. I had wanted to wake from whatever dream I was caught in, open my eyes to find Tord with his arms wrapped around me, hushing me and protecting me from the fears and dangers of being alone. Tord was all I could think about.   
Made me wonder if he was thinking the same. 

My eyes opened, reality watery and hazy, the outline of Tord's barely distinctive features coming into view. He seemed lost in his own world, softly petting my hair while I relaxed in the water around me. 

"Tord." 

My voice weak and barely a whisper, gaining a glance from him with a look of concern. 

"Yes, Thomas?" 

A strange feeling, my heartbeat picking up slightly. Almost unnoticeable, though I could tell it had sped up. Quite strange. I simply wanted to ask Tord a question that had sunken into my mind since it came to me. 

"Did you miss me?" 

He went quiet. Staring into the sea around me, stopping the motion of petting my hair. He seemed slightly off, letting out a light sigh before speaking with a soft tone. 

"Of course I did, Tom." 

His eyes met mine, foggy pupils looking at me in a way I hadn't noticed before. Softer, more caring than usual. Maybe it was just my eyes playing tricks on me. 

"I missed you every moment of every day." 

Tord's hand caressing my cheek, I could feel the warmth he gave off. So gentle, yet staying strong for the two of us. Knowing I was on his mind while I was gone came as a surprise to me. We fought, I was just in the way of his plans. He only wanted me there for sex, anyway. Why would I be of any value to him? Why would he send his soldiers to come and get me? Why would he take care of me while running a bath and calming me down? 

"Why?" 

He went quiet again. Still looking into my eyes, though his gaze seemed tense. I could barely see his facial details, yet I could make out enough to know his expression wasn't stern. 

"Because you don't deserve any of this, Tommy. You didn't deserve to be kidnapped or tortured. You didn't deserve to be punished. You didn't deserve to be pulled away from your friends. And I.." 

His words left hanging, suspended, as if dangling from the end of a rope, ready to fall yet still clinging to hold itself back. 

"And I don't deserve such a kind, pure, wonderful friend in my life, like you." 

Gaze leading to my wound, Tord pressed his lips slightly against each other, brows furrowing a bit. 

"I'm sorry, Thomas." 

He no longer looked me in the eye, his head lowered enough for a show of shame. Instinct told me to reach my hand out to him, though I didn't want to risk my arm being hurt in the process of doing so. Instead, I spoke my mind. 

"Kiss me." 

Tord looked up slowly, unsure and confused. 

"I'll forgive you if you kiss me. A real, passionate kiss. No shortcuts." 

His hand left my cheek, warm air feeling cold to the touch. Tord's expression spoke for itself, troubled and deep in thought. 

"I-I told you, I only want to kiss someone I'm i-"

"-in love with. I know, Tord. But I don't care." 

I tried sitting up, a weak attempt at best. Pain numbed yet shooting through my body, I'd tried bringing my face closer to Tord's. 

"Giving a genuine kiss without lust means putting aside your own preferences for me. Breaking the barrier in your head that tells you you can't love someone you're not in love with. So I ask you, will you kiss me? Even if you're not in love with me?" 

For a moment, I had hope. The thought came to me, Tord's face inching closer to mine, his wonderful lips I'd missed so much pressing against my own in an act of passion and love. Though, no. I fought through my blurry vision, checking Tord's expression for any change as he stayed still, lost in thought or avoiding my eyes. 

Minutes, or so it felt, had passed as I waited. Time seeming slow, unbearably creeping along as I held onto my hope. Hope that withered away, resulting in my skin hitting the back of the bath again, eyes closing as a sigh escaped my mouth. 

Was a kiss too much to ask for? Tord had always told me his morals, then broken them at another time. Was wanting his lips on mine going further than having him fuck me when I was horny? 

As I was plunged into darkness, all I felt was the water swaying against my skin. Slightly colder than earlier, though still warm enough to keep me from leaving the tub. Too much time had passed, another touch missing from my body. Part of me wondered if Tord had left the room without me knowing, despite never hearing the door open or shut. 

I felt lips against mine. A hand cupping my cheek, breaths mixing together and rising with the steam of the water. Tord had never kissed me like this before. Gentle, loving, mouth pressing against me with just the right amount of force to feel rough, yet somehow softer than ever before. 

My eyes opened half way, seeing Tord's own ones closed. I'd been so used to a look of lust on his face as he kissed me. This was the first time seeing him enjoy it without sex. I quickly became lost in the sensation, my right arm wrapping around his neck, head tilted to the side. I felt loved for the first time by Tord, though that could't hold back how much I needed to feel his touch again. His hands on my body, lips on my neck, teeth sinking into my skin. 

The kiss started out small, lips slowly moving in a rhythm. Eventually turning into a heated make out, my weak body staying down while Tord came lower, allowing me to be much closer to him. With a gap in our mouths, our tongues danced around each other, sweet saliva mixing together while we took our muffled moans in. My mind went straight to the gutter, wanting to pull Tord into the bath and have him fuck me right there. I would've done it, if not for the obnoxious sound erupting from the walkie- talkie Tord had strapped to his belt. 

"Red Leader! We've found something that may be of interest to you." 

It was obvious Tord heard the voice of a soldier through the muffled moans and grunts from the makeout. He stopped kissing me after a few seconds of hearing the message, slowly pulling away while keeping a hand on my cheek. His lips weren't curled into a smirk, oddly enough. As he pulled away, he seemed.. surprised. His eyes never left mine, his free hand reaching down to grab the device to speak into it. 

"What is it?" 

While he waited for an answer, I tried my best to keep my panting to a minimum, keeping my eyes fixed on the grey gems for eyes in front of me. 

"While going through what some soldiers had raided in the attack, we came across some blueprints, Sir. There's one for a device which is similar to what your secretary was wearing. It's quite extraordinary! The device is said to enhance eyesight, speak to the wearer with some kind of artificial intelligen-" 

Tord cut the man on the other side off by telling him to stop talking, which thankfully worked. He was getting way too excited. Tord, on the other hand, seemed off. He finally broke eye contact with me, though still rubbed my cheek with a sigh. 

"If my scientists can rebuild one just for the purpose of enhanced eyesight, would you wear one?" 

It felt as if things were moving too fast for me to catch up with. Just a second ago, Tord and I had our lips pressed together and our tongues rubbing against each other. Instead, I had to think about the chance of seeing perfectly with a giant device strapped to my head. 

I stayed quiet, trying to focus my vision on anything I could. It seemed a fruitless act, one to pass the time in hopes that I could avoid the question and let Tord decide for me. Minutes went by, a sudden action by Tord getting my head to turn upwards, watching the other stand. 

"I'll be in my office. Send the blueprints there." 

"Yes, Sir." 

My heart sped up as I watched Tord walk further away from me quickly. Too quickly. My left arm reaching out to him, a groan of pain escaping my lips while calling out his name. Tord stopped walking, turning his head to face me as I set my arm as gently as possible down. I panted slightly, tears brimming in my eyes while I panicked. I didn't want him to leave, especially not in such a manner. Annoyed that I didn't answer him, angry that I kept him waiting. I felt safe with him. 

"Don't.. leave me alone." 

He stayed silent, seconds passing us without a single sound. A tear rolled down my cheek, head hitting the back of the tub while I hazily watched Tord's figure stay still. That is, until he opened the door, almost completely out of sight when he stepped one foot in the exit. 

"I'll get the blueprints and be right back. I'm not leaving you alone, Tommy." 

Those words stayed ringing in my head as he closed the door after walking out. I was the only one in the room now, water still swirling around my skin. Tord's touch on my cheek lingered, just as the kiss on my lips did.   
The first kiss of true passion he'd ever given me. It stayed with me, so that I wasn't alone.


	27. Bored

Hardly anything had happened for days. While Tord took care of me, I was sentenced to bed rest while my arm did its best to heal quickly. Day in, day out. Laying in bed, unable to see, so I either annoyed Tord by complaining, or I listened to a show playing on the TV. 

Of course, Tord tried to be by my side for most of the time. He'd gotten all of his work to be delivered to his room while I stayed in bed, touching his face to annoy him while using the excuse of being blind to my advantage. 

The times when Tord wasn't there were the worst, though. I had been left alone in the room, laying in bed and waiting for something to entertain me. Emptiness surrounded me, darkness filling my world, silence filling the room. Anything could happen to me when I was alone. I was defenseless, vulnerable, scared to be hurt. 

Naturally, I tried to distract myself from the emptiness as much as possible. Though, of course, only listening to the audio of some crappy sitcom got boring very, very quickly. Once Ituned out, there was nothing to entertain my wandering mind. 

Thoughts came to me. Pictures in my head, although everything was black. Edd and Matt smiling, our arms around each other's shoulders to take a picture. It was an understatement to say I missed them. With all the drama that went on, I could finally, clearly see how foggy my head had been. I'd hardly thought about my childhoods friends after leaving them. Why?   
To have sex with our other friend, of course! It felt so wrong, once I thought long enough about it. It was so wrong. Leaving my closest friends for sex. Then again, there was a reason to do it..   
I needed a change, after all.   
Was this the right change, though? Was sex clouding my mind too much? What would've happened if I'd said with Edd and Matt? Why does my brain hurt?

After laying on my back for hours, mind working nonstop on the topic of leaving, I had to ask myself one thing. Did I need a change, or did I need Tord? 

I remembered how heartbroken I was when he first left. It was strange, as I didn't even know why. Day after day, I told myself it was because of my sexual frustration. No way to relive myself as well as the way Tord did. Masturbating got boring. Strangers became tiring, aside from the fact that sleeping with a strange man literally led me to getting tortured and him being shot. 

I'd convinced myself that I simply missed Tord because of sex. Because of the way he felt over my bare body, skin pressed against mine while our lower halves stayed connected. No one else could make every nerve in my body spark like he did. 

Questions came to me as I laid there. Tord had been at work for hours, leaving me to wonder what he was up to. Thoughts expanding on that, I wondered how he got his work done while I was with Jason. Thinking a little further, I wondered if he still relived himself while I was away. 

The thought of Tord touching himself while feeling ashamed made me raise a brow. That thought was.. interesting. I could imagine it already. Wishing I was there to help him while he flipped through his hentai. Covering his eyes in guilt while pretending I was the one stroking his member. Hearing his small whimpers of embarrassment leak from his mouth, tears streaming down his face when he came.   
Of course, they weren't tears of pleasure. 

Strangely enough, imagining Tord touching himself made my heart beat slightly pick up. He'd occasionally teased me in the past during foreplay when Edd and Matt were away. He'd tie me up, sit opposite me, and jerk off while I begged for him to touch me. I was dissatisfied, though that only made me want Tord in me even more. 

My heart was pounding before I even knew it. Despite being essentially blind, I could tell my little friend had awoken to greet a bleak, loveless world. Fucking awesome. 

An annoyed groan leaving my lips, I silently cursed at myself for letting my imagination get me excited. Tord wasn't even here, and I had no idea when he would appear. Weighing my options, I tried seeing the situation at a different angle. 

I could take it is annoying, having to take care of a boner while not seeing anything. Who knew, maybe someone was in the room for the entire time, taking a video to show how stupid I looked. Or, I could see it as a way to gain Tord's affection, finally have his skin slapping against mine with a desperately needed touch. 

Since the Red Army had attacked the base and rescued me, Tord had been busy nonstop. He took care of me when he could, though that usually meant just helping me in the bathroom and making sure I wasn't lonely. He didn't want to touch me, out of fear of hurting me, especially with a newly operated arm. He ignored my words when I told him it would be alright, though he still didn't think it was ok to fuck me in a weak state. 

It did take a week or two, but my arm was healing rather quickly; a fact that made me overjoyed. I could move it with little pain and touch it without wincing, things that seemed near impossible during the first couple of days.   
That being said, Tord still denied when I asked him to touch me, saying he didn't want to be too rough and hurt my arm. Those words hurt more than the physical pain I'd felt in that moment. 

After debating on what to do about my excitement, I decided to go for the Tord option. If he saw how much I wanted to be relieved, he wouldn't be able to turn down the offer. He seemed pretty stressed for the past few days, too. 

The walkie-talkie within range of my left arm, I carefully moved it to pick up the device. A slight tinge of pain came when I used it, though my arm was able to be moved as it used to. I pressed the button to contact Tord, clearing my voice a bit before speaking. 

"Hey, Tord. You there?" 

A smile crept onto my face as soon as I heard his voice ring in through the line. 

"Yes, I'm here. Is there a problem, Tom? Everything alright?" 

Giggling slightly, it always made my cheeks heat up when Tord became worried for me. It was, in a way, him saying he cared about me and my safety. Adorable. 

"Yeah, just kinda bored. When will you get back?" 

There was a slight pause before a sigh was heard. Accompanied by the squeak of a chair, I could only assume Tord had slumped back; an action he did when he was exhausted. 

"I still have a few papers to go over and finish up. Other than that, I'm pretty much done. So, I'd say about fifteen minutes." 

An idea popping into my head, excitement rose in my body. Humming in a laid back fashion, I gave Tord an affirmative answer before ceasing to converse with him over the small device. As soon as I set the walkie-talkie down, I pushed myself up in the bed, opening my eyes to get a hazy view of the room. 

Using my hands more than my eyes, I opened the drawer of the nightstand beside me, pulling out a bottle of lube. I was glad Tord always had those containers by him at all times. Stumbling around, I managed to get to the closet, pulling out a scarf I barely ever wore. Sturdy and long, it was perfect for the job. 

It took me almost slipping and blindly reaching my hands out to get back to the bed, carrying the material and placing it on the sheets while I sat down. My back was against the bedpost, wooden poles spaced out along it. Feeling around, I was able to slip my shirt off with ease, my upper half free from the restraining clothes. Cool air nipped at my skin, sending a light shiver down my spine. It made me excited. 

Eventually, I was able to undo and slip off my pants, a tent still strong in my boxers, which were also freed without hesitation. My blurry view showed no other person in the room, no doors open, curtains shut, everything done to give me privacy. Good. Only Tord should be allowed to see me naked. 

Why only Tord, though? I wasn't sure why I thought that. It just felt right. 

My legs opening enough while I pushed myself back on the bed, laying down on my back with my head close to the bedpost. I took the bottle of lube, squirting enough fluid onto my fingers before sitting up slightly and covering my entrance with it. The cold sensation made me let out a soft moan, feeling unnerved as I rubbed my hole with the lube. Eventually pushing my finger inside, a groan escaping my lips as I did so. 

Not enough time to keep going, I wanted to surprise Tord. I wanted his touch, not my own. 

Once I'd slipped three fingers in and stretched myself out, I pulled them out and laid down on the bed, holding the scarf in both of my hands. A pole on the bedpost was perfect to tie my hands around, trying my best not to make the knot too tight or loose. 

My left arm hurt slightly while it was lifted, it being slightly weaker than my other arm, though I managed to tie it. I did another knot just in case, wanting to pretty much hold onto the bedpost in defiance if Tord declined my want for sex. 

Now, the most agonizing part.   
Waiting.   
Waiting for Tord to hurry up and finish his work while I stayed tied to a bed with a raging boner and a lubed up asshole.   
Doing nothing but waiting. 

Every passing minute was torture for me, thoughts clouded with lust, eyes closed as memories of other sessions with Tord began playing. My erection wasn't leaving anytime soon, though the air hitting the lube constantly was enough to remind me it wouldn't take much for Tord to start fucking me. 

My thighs rubbing together once I started getting needy, the friction hardly gave me the relief I was internally begging for. Going so long without sex was something I didn't think would make me desperate. Two weeks at most had me tying myself to a bedpost naked while waiting for Tord to notice. 

Thank God he did soon. The sound of the front door shutting rang through, Tord's voice filling my ears as he called out for me. 

"In the bedroom!" 

Looking towards the door, a smirk pulled at my lips when I saw a blueish figure walk into the room, stopping in the door frame. He stood completely still, leaving me to wonder if maybe I was in the wrong. Perhaps this wasn't even Tord at all. Maybe it was a soldier who Tord came in with and accidentally found me naked in Tord's bedroom. 

If he hadn't spoken up, I would've felt incredibly awkward in that moment. 

"T-om..? What are you doing?" 

A flirtatious giggle leaving my lips, I rubbed my thighs together, my member stuck out between them. 

"My job is to help you loosen up with sex, isn't it? These past few weeks have been pretty rough on you, I'd say." 

Eyes staying on Tord's figure as he walked around to the side of the bed, staying by the mattress. He let out a light sigh, sitting on the bed a few inches away from me. 

"I've told you already, though. I don't want to hurt you or anything. Your arm isn't fully healed yet..." 

A small whine escaping my lips, my boner was still painfully sticking out, my bottom half still cold from the lube. Tord's presence near me was making me want him more than ever, though his words were like daggers to my heart at the time. 

"Tordy, please! You can't just leave me tied up naked with a hard on. Right now, I'm horny as fuck. Are you really gonna pass up a chance like this?" 

Tord stayed pretty much frozen in place for a few seconds, the only sounds heard being my heavy panting. It seemed as if time had skipped a full two minutes when I blinked, because Tord had taken his clothing off in a flash and crawled over to me. 

My lips were occupied within a second, a smile melting across them while Tord kissed me gently. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer, though I'd forgotten about the scarf tying them up. Maybe that wasn't the best idea. 

His lips leaving mine, my body heated up when I felt Tord lick over my skin. His hands cold from being outside, they sent shivers down my spine with they rubbed my hips. Legs spread apart, eyes closing to enjoy Tord's touch more. 

Licks turning to kisses, Tord's lips led to my lower half, eventually planting one softly on my member. The action took me by surprise, eyes opening again to see Tord position himself over me, his face close to my own once again. 

My thoughts stayed on the kiss he planted on my tip for a few seconds, thinking it was a strange action for him to do. Though, when he began pushing into me, my mind could only focus on the feelings from my entrance.

A breathless grunt leaving my lips, it was difficult adjusting to Tord's member inside of me. My heavy panting accompanied by the soft grunts from Tord, my cheeks dusted a light pink when I noticed his sounds. I'd picked up on certain behaviors from Tord over the years, one being heavy panting or grunting. It meant he was enjoying this, as well. 

Everything was a blur once Tord began moving. Moans slipping from my mouth like second nature, nails digging into Tord's back as he pounded into me. I was glad I'd already prepped myself before, as it lessened the pain tremendously. If I hadn't, I was sure Tord wouldn't have done so. I probably wouldn't have wanted him to, anyway. 

Skin slapping, moans ringing, sweat trailing down our bodies. I missed having Tord inside of me, pushing in and pulling out of me with such force. Sex lingering in the air, the smells and sounds only making everything more intense. 

My body burned, aching with lust. Tord's fast thrusting always making me crave more, eyes watering up with drool slipping down my chin. His name moaned out from my mouth, time and time again, each once making him pound into me with more and more force. Tord grunted with every thrust, though he was barely heard over the screams and moans of pleasure I let out. 

I came with a scream, cum shooting onto my chest as I let the pleasure overtake my body. I didn't have enough time to warn Tord, tears leaking down my face while I basked in the intense feeling. Minutes of Tord roughly pounding into me had never felt so good, grunts slipping from his lips like the blood rolling from my lips after I'd bitten the hell out of them. 

Feeling Tord's seed shoot into me made my eyes open wide, the warm fluid settling inside of me. The warmth mixed with Tord riding out his orgasm made me let out another moan, body shaking from overstimulation. 

Breaths mixed together, Tord finally came to a stop, his face on my chest as he laid on top of me. He could probably hear my racing heart, just as I could hear it pulsing in my chest. A feeling of exhaustion washed over me, as well as Tord's cum slowly seeping from me when he pulled out. 

"You were right." 

Laying next to me, my eyes barely opening to see Tord's half lidded ones looking back into mine. 

"The past couple of weeks have been pretty rough." 

Giving him a tired smile, I let out a content sigh when Tord pushed back a bit of hair behind my ear. He leaned in, planting a soft kiss on my cheek while I closed my eyes, ignoring the pain from my arms for the moment. Tord sat up with a bit of effort, and untied my hands from the scarf while I simply laid still and relaxed. 

"I'll get a rag after this to clean you up, alright?" 

A small nod as a response, my brain could hardly wrap around the words that he had said. All I could focus on was the warmth. 

Loving, wonderful warmth.


	28. Eyes

"Are you sure about this, Sir?" 

A newly made headset was held by one of Tord's scientists, the three of us being in the medical bay while I sat on a bed. It took a few days, but Tord had come to me earlier saying he had a surprise for me. 

"They've been tested and haven't been tampered with in any way. I can assure you." 

The man's voice held confidence, I was sure he wore a determined expression, even if I couldn't see it. An unsure hum left my lips, Tord speaking in my direction. 

"Thomas, I've made sure that my scientists got rid of every mind control or pain inducing functions that Jason built into the machine. This is designed to help you see again, not to torture you." 

Scoffing at him, I had to be critical about what was being said and by whom. Despite Tord's assurance, there was a lingering thought that he could use this device to his own benefit, be it if I needed to be 'punished' again. 

An unsure hum coming from my throat, my head turning to the side, away from the device. Tord sighed softly, leaving his seat from beside me. I was able to hear him speak to the scientist, even if he was talking in a hushed tone. 

"What does he need to do to install it?" 

"He just needs to put it on, press the power button, and wait until the screen shows. It might be painful for the device to hook up to his ocular nerves, but once it's over it'll just take about an hour for him to be able to see again." 

Painful, of course. Everything had to be painful. Nothing was painful when I was with Edd and Matt; quite the contrary. I could numb the pain with alcohol and Advil. 

"And to install the programs, you just connect the USB stick to the side port near the power button and wait for it to download." 

My interest caught, the talk about programs made me tense up. 

"Wh-at programs? Why would I need programs to see?" 

Head shot in the direction of Tord, I could hear Tord asking the scientist to leave the room, the sound of a door closing being my signal that he was gone. 

Once we were alone, Tord sat beside me on the bed again, his hand barely touching mine. 

"The headset doesn't need any additional programs to help you see or anything. It'll work just fine if you put it on and wait. But I was thinking, why not make it more practical?" 

That last line made me tense up even more. I knew he would try something. Probably give me some kind of weird commands for sex positions he wanted to try out. A pervert like him would definitely do something like that. 

"I wrote a few programs for your headset, so that you can access my schedule and notes from the meetings. It'll be linked directly to your tablet, so any information on there will be on your headset, too! Plus, it'll have voice commands so you can just say something like 'What does Red Leader have planned for the next hour', and it'll tell you!" 

My arms folded, I hadn't noticed how my fingers started digging into them. When Tord finished speaking, I needed to let out a breath I was holding in to stop myself from yelling. 

"Tord. If you don't remember, that thing made me say and do things I never wanted to. I know you're trying to make things easier for me with the programs, but with voice command being a thing, I'd really just want this to be for seeing. Plus, I don't really trust you with this whole thing, anyway." 

A small pause, Tord took a few seconds to answer. 

"Why don't you trust me?" 

Was that some kind of joke? Did he completely forget what had happened before I was kidnapped? 

"Seriously? You were planning to destroy every piece of friendship you have with Edd and Matt for your personal gain. They trust you, Tord. Yet, you were going to throw that away just to be on top. Tell me, if you were in my position right now, and I was the one with the headset, would you trust me? I could've put a few programs in there that make you lift your ass up and moan like some kind of girl from porn magazines. For all I know, you could've added the same shock Jason used on me as another one of your sick punishments!

As of right now, I don't trust you, Tord. I have no reason to believe that you didn't write some program just for you." 

Silent and still, Tord didn't answer to what I'd said for an uncomfortable amount of time. I didn't want to speak up, though. I let my words settle, wanting them to get through Tord's thick skull for once. 

After a while, a shuffled from beside me was heard, Tord's pinkie rubbing against mine as he adjusted himself on the bed. 

"I care about you, Thomas. I'm closer to you than I am to Edd and Matt. You're the only person I want by my side. No matter how near or far you are, I can't and won't stop worrying about you and your safety. So, hearing you telling me about what Jason did to you, the pain he put you through, how scared you were.. It hurts me, too. I don't want you in pain, Tom. After I punished you, I knew I'd gone too far. I won't hurt you like that again, Tom. You're too important for me..

So, please, just trust me on this, Tommy. The programs won't hurt you."

When Tord was done talking, I couldn't find the right words to say. He'd blurted it all out, but it didn't feel forced. Tord's words were said with truth. Emotion and care showing behind them. 

Care.

"You.."

My mouth open to speak, words hardly able to leave it.

"..Care."

His hand softly overlapping mine, Tord's other hand cupped my cheek, leaning in to give me a soft kiss. My lips didn't have enough time to kiss back, though the feeling of his mouth on mine lingered nonetheless.

"Of course I care, Thomas. You're the person I'd want to have around when I'm lonely."

After years of rough, hot nights full of sex that I found meaningless, I finally thought that maybe Tord didn't just see me as a toy. Maybe he never did. Maybe he just couldn't show it. Maybe there was more going on than I thought. Maybe he actually didn't ask me to join him for sex. Maybe he actually liked me. Maybe he actually lo- no. Impossible. This is Tord we're talking about. 

"Thomas? You haven't said anything in a while."

Humming at him, I let out a small sound of realization.

"Oh, sorry."

Another thought popping in my head, it dug itself into the front of my brain. The kiss wasn't one full of lust, I could sense that much. I didn't ask for it, he didn't say anything about it.

"I was just wondering, why did you kiss me? You said you only want to kiss a lover."

As I couldn't see his expression, all I had to go on his reaction was the silence. A few seconds, not quick, though not long enough for things to get awkward. His voice was firm as he spoke, though a hint of another tone I couldn't quite pick up hiding in the background.

"You looked like you needed it."

Despite the bland, overused excuse he told, all I could do was smile. Genuine, yet small, my lips curling up as I felt over his face and pecked his cheek.

"I did."

Against his cheek, I could feel his lips curling up, a comfortable silence swaying in the atmosphere. We let it sit for a little, before I pulled away from him a bit more, feeling around to grab the headset Tord had placed on a table in front of me when we first entered the medical ward. 

"So, he said to put it on and press the button?"

I pulled the device over my eyes, feeling it sit comfortably on my face. Adjusting the strap, it was made to fit me perfectly.

"Yeah, that's how you do it. But don't forget, it's probably going to hurt a little."

Letting out another short hum, I patted around the device to find the power button, pressing it with slight hesitation.

At first, nothing happened. Though soon enough, a skull splitting pain shot through my head, a violent scream erupting from my throat. It hurt more than anything Jason had done to me. It felt like small wires were crawling through the sides of my eyes, piercing into my brain with sharp needles.

Tord was quick to pull me into his arms, hugging me tightly and petting my hair while my heavy breaths bounced off of his neck.

"It's ok, Tommy. It'll be over soon. Keep holding on, you'll be alright. I'm here."

Slowly, the pain lessened, no more wires burying themselves in my head. I could feel how tears streamed down my cheeks, most likely landing on Tord's shoulder, though he didn't mention anything about that.

Once my breathing simmered down, all I could do was wrap my arms around Tord's waist and hug him back shakily.

"I-it hu-rts.." 

The pain was still seeping through, feeling as if it would never leave. All that distracted me were the light pecks Tord peppered over the back of my neck, his hands rubbing my sides softly. 

"I know, Tom.. But you're strong. It's almost over." 

After minutes, the pain was bearable enough to let Tord go, pulling away with a smile, despite my tear stained cheeks. I felt Tord's hand cup one, another kiss planted on my forehead. 

"You ok?" 

I didn't have the strength to answer, simply nodding stiffly and feeling Tord's hand slip from my face. A weight pushing on my chest, making me lay down on the bed. He reached up and pressed a button, though I couldn't see anything but black. 

"Alright. I'll take your unspoken word for it. Now, lay down and keep your eyes closed for an hour. You'll know when the device starts up. As for the programs, I have the USB stick with me. It has things like your schedule, antivirus, some other small apps for protection and for work. Do you allow me to install them?" 

Tord gave me his word. He said he'd never do what Jason did, or put me in harm's way. He said he.. cared about me.   
Even though I had my suspicions, I gave him a hesitant nod, hearing him shuffle around before sitting by my side. 

"I'm going to stick it into your headset, then wait for it to upload before taking it out. It won't hurt a bit." 

He was right. All I could feel was Tord's hand pressing lightly against my head, a small click sounding from beside my ear. Barely any time passing, Tord pulled the stick out, sighing softly. 

"Done." 

Humming to agree, I didn't say a word as I heard Tord put the stick away somewhere. A few silent seconds going by, we both waited awkwardly for the other to say something. It felt like a blessing when Tord spoke up. 

"Wanna hear the audio from a stupid kid's show with bad graphics?" 

"Hell yes." 

After laughing my ass off while listening to children fail to sing the alphabet, I felt a light jolt run through my body, forcing my eyes open. The first thing I saw was a green loading bar, filling from 0% to 100% in a few seconds. 

Once the bar filled, the screen went black once more for a few seconds, before a view of the ceiling slowly opened up. Light flooded my eyes, though it seemed to be filtered so as to not hurt me. 

"Are they working? Do they hurt? Are you ok?" 

I blinked my eyes better, slightly sitting up, feeling my head a little heavier than usual. Tord came into view, my somewhat eyes slightly widening as I saw the state he was in. Messy hair, bags under his eyes, a tired smile on his face. 

"Are YOU?!"

Immediately reaching over to Tord, I ignored the pounding headache, cupping Tord's cheeks and pulling them towards me. 

"It looks like you haven't gotten any sleep for weeks! Why the fuck do you look like this?!" 

Tord reached a hand up to touch his face, a slightly hurt expression resting on it. 

"But I always look like this.." 

He shook his head, taking my hands off of his face and holding them softly in his own. 

"I'm not the issue right now. We're worrying about you, here. I'll need to do a diagnostic and check that the functions are working properly, then you can try fiddling around with voice command and the apps, alright?" 

Giving Tord a concerned and reluctant look, I honestly wasn't up to doing some boring checks. The main thing on my mind was just wondering if Tord hadn't gotten enough sleep because of always taking care of me. It was possible, as I sometimes woke him at night and called him to the room just to use the bathroom a few times. 

Of course, Tord wouldn't spill anything to me because of his fucking stubborn behaviour, so it wasn't worth thinking about at the time. With a sigh, I looked up at him, my thoughts finally focusing on the device now permanently strapped to my head. 

"Alright."


	29. Sleep

Everything was so much clearer than before. At least, everything I could see. Details stood out more, colours were more prominent than what I had been used to, yet it wasn't such a big change to turn my whole world around. 

Unfortunately, the opposite had occurred in my head. Thoughts were foggy, memories mashing together and simply confusing me at the worst of times. Everything was so strange, so different from how things were. Tord was acting strangely, catering to my needs, yet barely getting close to me anymore. The whole reason I was in the base was to help him relax, yet he seemed more stressed than ever. Not that he would tell me, though. 

After countless nights of staying up, missing the warmth beside me in my bed while my thoughts raced, I finally decided to shut my brain off, focusing on figuring everything out. 

I shuffled the bed sheets around, being able to see quite well through the darkness. The programs Tord had installed into my headset were honestly quite useful, one of which being the night vision. To my delight, I was able to turn it off, as seeing everything clearly through the dark while trying to sleep was having a negative effect. 

A deep breath filling the room, I tossed and turned in bed, turning off my night vision for the fifth time. Darkness around me, somehow it made me even less eager to fall asleep. 

'Hello, Thomas. Miss me?' 

The sight of Jason's twisted smile flashed in my head, my eyes shooting wide open as panic flooded my system. This had been going on since I'd gotten my headset, flashbacks of a certain blonde-haired man appearing in my mind. While I was basically blind, my thoughts didn't have time to settle. I was constantly thinking about my eyes, fearing if I'd see again, scared of the device Tord had ordered to be made for me. I could only focus on present time, though when my eyes began working with the visor, things changed once again. 

I could only think of the past. Past fears, past experiences, past words that had been spoken to me. Faces, twisted faces with creepy smiles. Eyes wide, yet lifted in a joyful way. It had taken me a week to stop breaking down and hugging my pillow, because although I made it out alive and well, I wasn't strong. Far from it. I used to believe I was, constantly going up against Tord as if I could beat him in a fight. The sad truth had come out after Jason's damaging actions. 

I needed Tord.   
As pathetic as that sounded, I needed to feel safe again. Never in my life did I think I would be in an army base, fucking the leader of it all, yet crying in my bed every night because of something that had happened weeks ago.   
Yet, it was that something that made the biggest impact. 

Minutes turning to hours, I finally turned my lamp on beside me, looking at the clock to read the time. 2 in the morning. A soft groan leaving my lips, my mind hadn't stopped racing all night. 

"Eyes, how much sleep did I get tonight?" 

I'd set my voice command in the headset to respond to 'Eyes', as nothing else seemed to suit them quite right. 

'You have gotten 0 hours of sleep in total'

An annoyed sigh slipping my lips, I decided to get out of bed, my lights turning off before I walked out of my room. Strolling down the hall, I followed the blue stripe until it collided with the red one, walking along it until I reached Tord's bedroom door. My hand lingering, hesitant to wake the hot headed man behind the door, I spent a few seconds waiting until I knocked. 

Seconds passing, the sight of the door slowly creaking open revealed Tord looking completely exhausted and out of it. 

"Thomas? What are you doing here?" 

Rubbing my arm slightly, I looked to the side with my lips pressed to a thin line. 

"I can't sleep." 

Raising a brow, Tord leaned slightly more against the door, giving me a strange expression. 

"Why are you telling me that?" 

Honestly, that line slightly ticked me off. Shouldn't it be obvious? Or was he just waiting for me to stay it?  
Goddamn motherfucker. 

"I don't know, maybe I was kidnapped and blinded and that's prying at my mind every night." 

Not even a change in his expression. Tord looked at me with a face that screamed 'Are you fucking kidding me right now'. It annoyed the hell out of me, to the point where I forced myself into his room, pushing past him and walking to his bed. A few seconds later, the sound of the door closing was heard, Tord walking up beside me and sitting on the sheets. 

We didn't speak a single word to each other, my eyes focused on the corner of the room for an agonizing minute. I wasn't sure if I should talk or stay quiet. When Tord spoke, I could feel some relief washing over me. 

"Sorry.." 

Of course, an apology from Tord wasn't expected. Why would he say sorry?

"For what?" 

Letting out a light sigh, Tord ripped his gaze away from his hands, looking into my eyes with a soft expression. He scooted closer, my brow raising in confusion. He was unusually quiet, acting quite weirdly, if I do say so myself. 

"Sorry I take you for granted. Sometimes I forget that you're not just another soldier and that you didn't choose to come here. Well, you did, but you get what I mean." 

Slightly widening my eyes behind my headset, I hadn't expected Tord to say such a thing.

"Do you know why I joined you? I feel like you're just saying that to sound understanding." 

Tord rubbed the back of his neck, eye contact lost again as he stared at my hands. Strange, how he focused on them rather than looking anywhere else. 

"I kinda assumed it was to get away from everything. When I left, I still kept track of what you were up to sometimes- not that I was stalking you! I-I was just.. wanting to make sure you weren't getting into trouble." 

A teasing smirk pulling at the corner of my lips, I found it adorable how Tord tried covering that last part up. He almost seemed embarrassed to admit it; a trait rare to see in Tord. 

"I know you used to go out every night. To the bar, to clubs, basically strictly places known to get you drunk off your ass and laid for the night.   
That was clear when you always left with another man.." 

My turn to feel embarrassed. I wasn't proud of my past choices, but that didn't mean I could forget about them. Tord was stating facts, as much as I didn't want to hear them, they were true. 

"Honestly, I didn't know how to feel then. Not having you with me left a bigger impact than I had anticipated, which, considering our relationship, was honestly really confusing. I don't know what I'm trying to say, Thomas."

A still silence, my heart coming to mind as I hadn't noticed it was beating slightly faster than usual. 

"Just..  
I'm sorry for making you leave Edd and Matt. I know you had the choice to stay, and I know how much you love them. I'm sorry I led you to being kidnapped and blinded. I'm sorry I couldn't kill that son of a bitch sooner." 

Before Tord could keep rambling on, I placed my finger on his lips, meeting his gaze as he stopped talking. A soft smile playing on my face, I lightly shook my head. 

"Tord, shut up. You didn't force me to leave Edd and Matt. I needed a change from everything, and you came at the perfect time to provide that for me. Stop blaming yourself for my mistakes." 

His mouth staying closed, his expression unreadable. He seemed slightly hurt, though I couldn't imagine why. Not like I would let him explain, though. After a while, he let out a breath through his nose, nodding ever so lightly. I took my finger away, feeling much better about my night. 

"There's still something you haven't said sorry for, though." 

Him now raising a brow, Tord sat in a more comfortable manner on the mattress. 

"What's that?" 

"The stupid plan with the big robot. Seriously, I'm so glad you dropped that whole thing. If you'd actually gone through with it, who knows what Edd and Matt would've done. Hell, maybe they would've started a rebellion against you or something. 

Plus, I'd probably never talk to you again. Choosing between the world and your world should be an obvious answer. I'm glad you chose the right one." 

Laughing a bit at the memory of Tord showing me his plans, I'd have expected Tord to join me, though I was met with silence. A flash of guilt in his eye, Tord tried to muster up a smile. 

"Yeah." 

His bland, expressionless answer left me feeling a bit bleak, curiosity pulling at my mind. 

"What's wrong?" 

Perking up slightly, Tord looked at me with slight surprise, shaking his head faintly as he spoke. 

"Nothing! Sorry, my mind's kinda set on a few things. Mostly work. I've been having a lot of stress about so many things and..   
Yeah, sorry." 

Worries slightly bubbling away, it was pretty obvious he was annoyed about something in his job. I hadn't been there to take notes for his meetings for so long, and we hadn't been intimate since the time I tied myself up. He probably missed me teasing him under the table. 

"Well, taking care of stress is what I'm here for, isn't that right?" 

It took a moment for Tord to catch my drift, though when he did, his face seemed to poof red. Letting out a light giggle, I couldn't help but find his embarrassed expression adorable. A glare shot my way, Tord hummed a little. 

"Is that really a good idea..? It's 2am, shouldn't we sleep?" 

My face dropped, rolling my eyes, which I'm guessing he could see because of the headset. 

"Tord, remember why I came here to begin with? I can't sleep. And either way, if you're less stressed in the morning, it'll make your day much easier to get through." 

Staying silent for a bit, Tord didn't seem to be coming to any conclusions. I huffed, taking it upon myself to crawl onto his lap, smirking at his surprised and flustered face. 

"You need some help with stress relief. Let me help you, Tordy." 

At this point, I didn't care if Tord wasn't into having sex. I was already rocking my hips back and forth on his lap, my hands on Tord's bare chest. It didn't take long for two hands to latch onto my lower waist, holding me in position while slightly slipping down with every movement I made. Soon enough, Tord was moving with me, time hardly going by before I felt something poke my ass. 

"Ooh, seems like someone finally came around~" 

Seeing Tord roll his eyes, I let out a small chuckle, yelping a little once I felt the hem of my boxers slip down. 

"Yeah, yeah. We both know you fall asleep quicker after a session. I just don't want you whining in my ear for the whole night." 

I let out a light scoff, though chuckled as I helped Tord undress me. Once I was completely naked, my fingers tugged at his boxers, giving Tord a look of lust as I did so. It seemed to make him less patient, slipping his boxers off quickly and pulling me back onto his lap. 

For a second, it seemed as though he wanted to kiss me, our lips lingering close together. My heart stopped fluttering when he went down to my neck, nipping at some spots while trailing his mouth closely over my skin. 

"Do you want prep?" 

Getting lost in my own world, I shook my head softly, not wanting to waste time for us to get intimate. Tord hummed faintly, pulling back from my neck to position me over his member. I held onto him, catching his eye as he stopped to talk to me. 

"Are you sure?" 

If I had any patience left, maybe I would've said no, but my mind was set on one thing.  
The same thing it's been set on for years, unfortunately. 

Before I could slam my ass down on Tord's shaft, I felt one hand leave my hip. Tord reached over to grab a bottle of lube, squirting some on his fingers while I held myself up. An annoyed huff filling the room, I really didn't want to waste any more time. 

The cold touch of liquid covered my hole, a squelching sound being heard when Tord lubed up his dick. 

"I'm not hurting you like last time." 

Wiping his hands on the bed sheets, Tord placed them back on my hips, looking me in the eyes again. He didn't need to say anything to tell me it was ok to go down. 

I was a little too impatient and needy, sitting down on Tord's dick like a throne and without a second thought. Until, of course, the burning pain in my asshole from not being stretched out made me hiss. I stopped moving downwards, being about halfway, and tried my best to adjust to the stupid decision I had made. Tord rubbed my thighs, asking with concern in his voice if I was alright, to which I simply nodded with clenched eyes behind my visor. 

Tightening and loosening around Tord's member, my body slowly lowered itself down to the base, staying still to adjust for a while. The soothing rubs on my thighs calmed me down slightly, a small smile creeping onto my lips when Tord moved his hands a little further back again. 

"You know.. I haven't been sleeping well, either." 

Opening my eyes, a hum leaving my lips as I looked at Tord. Strange time to bring up a past conversation, but ok.

"I haven't slept all night. Just stayed awake.. thinking about everything that's happened between us. I guess I don't want to keep making you feel like an object. I didn't want to make the first move because it would seem like I'm taking advantage of you or someth-" 

I cut Tord off by quickly lifting myself up, pushing my lower half down on his again and repeating the action. Hearing him talk about this was getting on my nerves. The fact that he didn't understand what I wanted like he used to just annoyed me. Tord let out a few gasps whenever I bounced, a glare on my face as I looked at him. 

"You're n-ot the onl-y one w-ho n-eeds sex, Tord. M-ay-be I like i-t when you t-ouch me! Mayb-e it makes m-e feel be-tter. A-and I can le-t out my fr-ustra-tion with i-t. E-ver thought of th-at?!" 

Tord didn't seem to be able to reply, his upper body laying on the mattress as he moved his arms with my hips. I ignored the pain in my lower half while I bounced, not caring how fast I was going. Not caring if I sped up, barely containing myself from slamming my ass down fast enough to rip Tord's dick off. 

"May-be I mi-ss this!" 

A few long moans slipping my lips, my pace quickened. I could already feel myself getting close, slightly embarrassed at how I could hardly last more than a few minutes. 

"Ma-ybe I miss y-ou!" 

With a scream-like moan, I came on my stomach, tears building behind my headset. My body was on fire, tingling and suddenly overly sensitive, but I didn't slow down. Pleasure swarmed over me, but it was gone as soon as it came. I looked down again once I sped up, seeing Tord bite his lip with a cherry red face. Eyes closed, he seemed to be pushing himself, hands still moving with my body. 

Time seemed to speed up, what had been twelve minutes seemed like two to me. Tord was nearing his orgasm, just as I had come to be close to a second one. Tord came with a low groan, panting heavily while his seed shot up inside of me. The warm, sticky feeling pushed me over the edge, cum spraying over Tord's chest, as well as mine again. 

After riding his orgasm out, Tord eventually came to a stop, both of us heaving with flushed bodies. I collapsed on top of his chest, feeling the uncomfortable liquid squish between us, but I honestly couldn't give less of a fuck about that. 

Minutes passing, I found myself finally calming down, a smile on my face as Tord placed his arms around my waist. He pulled me closely, nuzzling his nose into my hair, making me giggle. 

"I missed you too, Tom."

Meeting his gaze, Tord and I shared a warm smile. We didn't need to speak, and my mind was cleared of any thoughts other than sleep. 

Eventually, Tord pulled out of me, my weak body flopping right beside him. Exhausted and barely awake anymore, I could feel a blanket cover my body, Tord's arms wrapping softly around my torso as well as a light kiss being planted on my cheek. 

"Good night, Tommy." 

Tord snuggled into my neck, a soft hum being all I could muster as I let the warmth embrace me.


	30. Stupid

I felt weird when I woke up. I was warm, laying on my side, with the blanket slightly revealing my shoulder. Though, there was another warmth from behind me, light breaths hitting the back of my neck in a rhythm. Face heating up slightly, I tried my best to turn around without shuffling too much, just to confirm my suspicions..

And how fucking ecstatic I was when I found out they were true. 

A big, dopey smile crept onto my lips as I saw Tord sleeping mere centimeters beside me, his arm over my waist and his face blissfully relaxed. His hair was a mess, the morning sun barely reaching his well toned chest. He hadn't looked this well rested in a while, the bags under his eyes pretty much gone by then. 

This had only happened a few times before, waking up in the same bed as Tord. It was pretty rare, simply for the reason of him always getting up earlier than me or kicking me out right after sex. My eyes leading to the clock, I read the time to be 7 in the morning. My blood ran cold when I realized how late it was, Tord's alarm apparently having never gone off. 

Frowning slightly, I really didn't want to wake Tord up from this wonderful morning. His bare chest so close to mine, breath hitting my skin, it was an amazing feeling to be with him. 

Over the past few days, my feelings had been getting less clear after every interaction with Tord. He'd do something stupid, almost fall asleep in meetings, stub his toe on his desk; all things I would usually roll my eyes at, yet now all I can do is giggle. Whenever I caught his gaze, my heart felt like it would stop for a second. I felt so self conscious around him, something I'd never been around him before. 

Maybe because he showed me kindness like I hadn't known before, or maybe it was because he killed the son of a bitch who hurt me, but I grew a much more positive outlook towards the man. His sleeping face looked so beautiful to me, his chest rising and falling without a hint of a sound. It'd been too long since I felt peaceful. Too long since I'd woken up with someone by my side. An eternity since I'd woken up beside Tord. I loved it.   
I loved.. being with Tord. He made me feel a way no one else ever had. 

Closing my eyes, I wanted to stay with Tord's warmth, rather than wake him up for another long day of work. I snuggled closer to the other, my head less than an inch away from his chest. He didn't move, probably still in a deep slumber. After hearing he hadn't slept well recently either, I for one was grateful that he'd slept through his alarm. 

A loud beep sounding in the room, Patryk's voice called from Tord's walkie-talkie by the bed. 

"Red Leader, you were scheduled for a meeting at 6:30am. If you threw your clock at the wall, I swear I'm going to come in there and wake you up myself every morning." 

I wanted to snort, though I thought it would be better to simply pretend I was asleep when Tord woke up. He jolted at the beep, pulling away from me slightly when he heard his father talk. Not wanting to be blamed for letting Tord sleep in, I kept my eyes shut, listening in to Tord's response. 

"I'm awake, I'm awake. Must've forgotten to set the alarm last night." 

A heavy sigh sounding through, Patryk spoke with a slightly disappointed tone, yet one that still held understanding. 

"Just get dressed and get down here." 

Before Tord could respond, Patryk spoke again, this time with a slightly changed tone. 

"Oh, and Tom wasn't at breakfast this morning, either. Any idea why?" 

Teasing. His voice was laced with smugness and a teasing grin. I could hear it. Tord slightly shuffled in bed, pausing for a little before speaking to his father again. 

"Yeah, he's here with me." 

If they were open, I would've rolled my eyes at the excited squealing Patryk let out. Tord's parents already thought we were dating, why would this be a surprise if we were, anyway? 

"Alright, I suppose you get a pass for that reason. I bet he kept you up all night, didn't he~?" 

"Bye, dad. See you later. Don't call again today." 

Placing the device down on the nightstand, Tord let out a slight grumble mixed with a sigh. He stayed quiet for a while, my eyes being difficult to keep closed for so long. I was curious as to why he was staying still, though I wasn't about to look at Tord and ask him. 

After a moment, Tord eventually shuffled close to me again, his warmth heating my body up, as well as my cheeks. Feeling a soft kiss planted on my forehead, I had to keep down the urge to smile. Tord rubbed his finger against my cheek, speaking with a soft, caring tone. 

"Wake up, Thomas." 

I didn't want to move, Tord's actions being too sweet to pass up. After a few seconds of staying still, Tord chuckled lightly, leaning down to my ear so that his breath bounced off of it. 

"You know, when you sleep, your screen turns off until you wake up. Right now, I can see two pretty, green eyes staying closed." 

Taking a moment to understand what Tord meant, I mentally slapped myself for getting caught. Frowning, I opened my eyes, looking at Tord with a slight glare. He responded by chuckling, sitting upright in the bed again while looking at me with a smirk. 

"You could've kept going.." 

Tord let out a small aww, grabbing his boxers and slipping them on in bed. 

"Ooh, did you want me to keep rubbing your cheek like a little baby?" 

Pouting at his line, I defiantly sat up in bed, crossing my arms and turning my head to the side. 

"I'm not a stupid baby! And if my eyes were showing, why did you rub my cheek and stuff to begin with?" 

My question wasn't answered, a sigh of amusement being the only thing Tord let out before getting up. 

"We should get ready for work." 

With that, Tord left the room, walking into the bathroom with a smirk. That left me alone in the bedroom, immediately missing the warmth and gentleness of Tord's voice with me. He spoke so softly, caringly, even. Why couldn't he always speak to me like that? Or give me kisses on my forehead? Or wake up with me in the same bed? If he did that every morning, I'd be the happiest man alive. But he didn't. This was probably just because he forgot to set his alarm. 

Sighing, I got out of bed, slipping my boxers on and waiting for Tord to finish showering. Usually, I'd feel free to slip into the shower with him, let his hands roam my body and get steamy together, but this time I just felt like showering alone. 

A few minutes later, Tord came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and over his neck. He looked devilishly handsome, I tried my best not to pay any attention to that. 

"You can go in now. I'll be in my office, but I want you to go eat something first." 

That line made me raise a brow, speaking up while getting my uniform out. 

"Won't you be eating?" 

There was no way in hell I'd let Tord work all day on an empty stomach. I may be there to let him use me for stress relief, but that didn't mean I had no power over him. 

"There's too much work to catch up on that I missed this morning. I'll eat in my office, but I want you to have a nice meal for breakfast. You probably need it after last night." 

A blush dusting over my puffed up cheeks, I turned my back to Tord again, walking to the bathroom with my clothes. 

"Fuck you, asshole." 

Tord's laugh rung in my ears before I went into the room, closing the door on him. My shower wasn't too long, as I found the steam and heat around me always made my mind wander. For some strange reason, I didn't feel like letting my thoughts get wild like usual, not wanting to imagine Tord touching me or anything like that. We'd already gotten together last night. Mornings were supposed to be relaxing, instead. 

Once out of the shower and fully dressed, I noticed Tord had already left the room, a soft hum passing my lips. I followed his request, going to the cafeteria, where I sat with Paul and Patryk at the table. The couple smiled at me, greeting me with questions regarding how well their son was in bed. Their words made me flustered, though I put up with them due to not having anywhere else to sit. 

"He was great, alright?"

"Better than usual?"

"I- I don't know! He's always great!" 

"Ah, so he needs to up his game."

"Can we stop talking about your son's sex life please?!" 

The couple laughed together, my face probably as red as a tomato. They eventually simmered down, a couple of soft chuckles still slipping their mouths. 

"Alright, alright. Let's talk about you. How've you been doing lately? I mean with adjusting to your new eyesight and lifestyle and.. everything." 

I finished chewing my food, giving me a bit of time to think about my answer. The truth was, I wasn't entirely sure myself. Granted, the headset gave me a much clearer and improved field of vision, but it just didn't feel right to me. It made everything seem like a computer simulation rather than real life. But there were some perks, such as night vision and voice command. 

"It's been hard getting used to, but I think it'll be alright." 

In all honesty, I didn't feel like talking, either. There was an underlying feeling in my gut, something telling me I shouldn't get comfy. I remembered the feeling from when Jason and I went to the clearing, though I hardly paid any mind to it. I just assumed it was because I was stressed out about Tord at the time. 

Pushing my food away, Patryk raised a brow in my direction, humming at me lightly. 

"Everything alright, Thomas? You've barely touched your food." 

Eye to eye, a soft grumble leaving my throat. I sat up and huffed, looking at the table as I spoke. 

"I guess I'm just not hungry." 

A knowing hum leaving his lips, Patryk nodded with a solemn look. 

"I guess he must've told you, huh. It's understandable.. I'd feel off if I was in your position, too." 

Raising my brow, I placed my hands on the table, leaning in to the two soldiers. I had no idea what they were talking about, but they did make me aware that my gut feeling was right. Something was off, and I was being kept out of it all.   
I had a feeling that something had to do with a stupid decision Tord made. 

"He told me what?" 

Patryk instantly froze as I asked, Paul looking between him and me with a nervous expression. Tension seemed to build around us, neither of the two soldiers saying a word for too long. 

"Tord didn't tell you what's happening in two weeks..?" 

I narrowed my eyes at the two soldiers, standing up slightly while leaning my weight on the table. 

"What's happening in two weeks." 

It was clear by my tone that I wasn't asking. Though, it was clear by Patryk's nervous expression that he wasn't going to tell me. I took matters into my own hands, deciding to put the stupid thing on my face to use. 

"Eyes, what does the schedule look like in two weeks from today?" 

I got my answer in less than a second, fury boiling inside of me once I found out. 

'Schedule for April 13th, Giant robot retrieval' 

My blood ran cold as I balled my hands into fists, leaving the table without another word. Patryk and Paul called out for me, though I didn't stop speedily walking to Tord's office. Soldiers passing by went out of my way upon seeing me, their faces slightly shocked or surprised. My guess was the headset must've shown blood red eyes. 

Not bothering to ask for permission or knocking, I swung the door open, the force used making it hit the wall with a thud. Tord was sitting behind his desk, pen in hand, looking up at me with a crooked smile. 

"T-om! Did you have a nice meal?" 

He sounded nervous. Good. His parents had probably radioed to warn him about my arrival. I stomped up to him, slamming my fists on his table as I screamed at him. 

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU." 

Breath fast and heavy, I could hear my racing heartbeat fill my ears. I sucked in the tears that wanted to escape, focusing on how goddamn angry I was at the idiot before me. 

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE WITH THAT FUCKING IDEA! WASN'T WHAT HAPPENED TO ME ENOUGH TO GET RID OF YOur fucking plan.." 

My voice broke as I screamed, Tord's expression turning from panicked to blank and emotionless. He waited for me to stop talking, opening his mouth and speaking sternly. 

"What happened to you should be proof enough that we need the robot. With it, I'll be able to destroy anyone who tries to hurt us or the Red Army ever again." 

He stood up, slowly walking towards me, his eyes never straying from mine. 

"Can't you see, Tom? The Red Army needs the robot. And I need to be the one to get it. I'll get it, come back, and we can sleep peacefully knowing there isn't another threat like Jason." 

My head shook wildly, his words seeping into my head, but I didn't let them get to me. I couldn't let Tord hurt my friends again. Edd and Matt were too innocent to be caught up in this. They didn't deserve the lies and deceit that Tord would offer without their knowledge. I couldn't let it happen. I couldn't..

"N-no, Tord. If y-ou try this, I'll st-op you. I won't l-et you do this." 

With that, I left the room, heading to my bedroom and closing the door. I was sure Tord stayed behind, as I couldn't hear his footsteps following me. Tears slowly slid down my cheeks as I kept my back against the door, this all seeming way too familiar. I felt stuck in a loop. Tord telling me his plan, me running away, crying, disappointed, betrayed. The only difference being that I wasn't running into the arms of Jason again. Guess that's a bonus. 

It took minutes for me to calm down, my heartbeat no longer ringing in my ears. I'd closed my eyes for a bit, until I finally slowed down, my vision showing me my bleak, lifeless bedroom. Everything looked and felt off. The walls weren't the right shade of blue. The bed wasn't facing the right direction. The window let in too much light. 

With everything going on, recovering from Jason's attack and training for the Red Army, I hadn't once sat down and looked around my room. Tord must've tried hard to make it look at least a little similar to my old one, but it didn't work. I felt so homesick. I missed Edd and Matt, I missed getting shitfaced and laughing my ass off with Eric, I missed making out with Tord without a care in the world. Nothing seemed right anymore. Nothing had been right since I left my home. I don't belong in a fucking army, in some stupid room that was just a downgraded copy of my old one. 

Through the soulless contents of the quiet room, one colourful thing stood out to me. The picture on my dresser, the gift my friends had given me before I left. I walked up to it slowly, hands reaching out to brush against the frame. Our happy smiles seemed so distant, my smile being one I hadn't used in too long. 

Matt's mirror was placed facing down beside the picture. I picked it up, the reflection showing a man I barely recognized. The green dots I called eyes stared back at me, cheeks littered with tears, hair a mess while my skin seemed more pink than usual. It hadn't even been so long since I left Edd and Matt, and I could hardly stand to look at myself in the mirror. If I wouldn't leave, who would I become? 

I wasn't going to find out. Edd and Matt needed me, I knew that much. If Tord was going to go through with his plan, so was I. 

Pulling out the duffel bag from under my bed, I began packing everything I'd brought with to the Red Army inside of it. Never once did I get a bad feeling about my choice.


	31. You

"Stay away from me, Tord." 

Bag slung over my shoulders, I speed-walked in the direction of the hangers. Tord was right on my tail, though I tried my best to ignore him while I walked. 

"Thomas, you're being ridiculous!" 

My eye twitched at that, though I didn't respond. Only speeding a little up to get away from the other, even if I knew it wouldn't work. 

"I won't let any planes you're on take off, Tom." 

A growl leaving my mouth, I turned around to be face to face with Tord, making him stop and almost run into me. 

"If you're going through with this, so am I. I'm going back to Edd and Matt, and if you're as serious about this as I am, I'll see you there in two weeks. But unless you want me to let everyone here know how much of an asshole you are, let me go." 

Soldiers had turned their attention towards us, trying to act busy while getting caught up in the drama between us. I would've rolled my eyes if my attention was on them, though all I cared to see was the contemplative expression on Tord's face. 

"Thomas, please don't make this harder than it has to be. You know we need that robot now more than ever." 

It took so much willpower to stop myself from slapping him, taking a sharp inhale with clenched eyes before I spoke. 

"Ever since you came back for me, I thought you changed. You seemed to care. You kissed and took care of me when I needed it, just when the mood was right. You were so open with me, like you've never been before. And when you touched me, I thought I was lost in heaven." 

That got a lot more attention than before, soldiers barely even trying to hide how they were eavesdropping on everything I said. Good. They should know the truth about Red Leader's mystery secretary. How I got this position without doing anything.   
He did everything, after all. 

"With Edd and Matt, you were always distant. Kicking me out of bed as soon as you've had your fun. And, you know, that really sucked! That made me feel like shit, like I was just a toy you were using every now and then. Not like I can blame you, though. That's just how our relationship was.   
But after your attack on Jason's fucking army, you stayed with me. You actually cared about my well being. Hell, we even woke up in the same bed this morning!" 

Tord's face kept getting red, embarrassed by my words, by the eyes around us, mostly directed at him. Paul and Patryk had joined us, surprised and slightly disappointed to find out that we weren't actually together. 

"I thought you changed. And with that thought in mind, my perspective changed, too." 

I paused for a bit, collecting myself before I continued. 

"When I was alone in the Grey Army, I missed you. The only thing that got me through was the thought that you'd be there with me. That you'd hold me closely, kiss my lips with your soft ones, make love to me at night. You were all I thought about. You were all I cared about. And now I see I was such a fool, because you're not doing anything for other people. You only care about yourself! You only used me! And I don't know why you even bothered to take care of me when I was blind." 

Tears spilling down my cheeks, my voice wavered as I spoke, but I pushed through to keep sounding confident in my words... Until I became quiet, a sentence lingering on my tongue, too afraid to spit it out. Tord took a step towards me, though I held up my hand, turning away from him a little. I forced myself to look him once more in the eyes, speaking in the most clear tone I could muster. 

"I fell in love with you..  
But now I don't even know who you are." 

No one moved, no one spoke. Not even Tord, who stood two feet away from me, eyes wide with an expression of shame and shock. Whether he had real or fake tears in his eyes didn't matter, I didn't even bother looking at them any longer. 

A shaky inhale, I turned to face Paul and Patryk, remembering them telling me about their positions as pilots for cargo planes. 

"Would you two please fly me to England? I'm ready to leave as soon as possible." 

They glanced at their son, though softly nodded, leading me in the direction of the hangers. Tord didn't move at all, his soldiers awkwardly backing away from the tension surrounding us. 

Boarding the plane didn't take much time, Paul and Patryk leaving for a bit to clear things up for take off. Maybe also to have a small talk with their son, but I didn't care to look back and check. Not half an hour later, the hanger doors were opening, my seatbelt strapping me in as we lifted into the air. This was nothing like the plane Tord and I took to get here. This was more for importing and exporting goods rather than some luxury, first class trip. It didn't matter, though. The point was, I was going to England. 

Once the plane was leveled and we were flying smoothly, Paul turned the autopilot on, both men looking at me with an expression that made it clear they would like to talk. No doubt to discuss what had happened before we left. Patryk cleared his throat, speaking in an awkward tone without even trying to ease into the subject. Pretty hard thing to do, so why not skip it. 

"So, Thomas...  
You and Tord weren't dating?" 

Letting a sigh pass my lips, I shook my head lightly to answer, knowing both men were frowning without even looking at them. It was understandable. Paul and Patryk were so excited when they thought we were together. I'm sure any parent would feel the same about their kid finally dating. 

"No, we weren't. We just had sex sometimes to relieve stress and stuff." 

Awkward silence filled the room, the tension around us being almost suffocating. Paul and Patryk seemed to not know what to say, though after a few moments that seemed far too long, I spoke up for them. 

"I know we lied to you, and I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen... But I can't keep lying anymore. You should feel really proud of your son, of course. He's achieved a lot. He's running an entire army! And, even though it took a lot of time, he finally came around and started being a pretty good partner.   
He's still a giant idiot, though. You should hit him on the head for that or something." 

Patryk gave me a slightly sad smile, rubbing his nape a little. 

"He's always been that way. Too ambitious to see what really matters." 

I slumped back in my seat, humming at his words. No one spoke again, not that I minded. I was still trying to process everything, myself. Paul eventually went back to the controls, Patryk deciding to make some small talk with his husband. 

The flight from Norway to London wasn't very long, but it gave me just enough time to let my mind settle down, eventually coming back to reality. Everything hit me all at once. I was going back to my old friends, away from Tord, finally getting rid of the constant drama that seemed to happen more and more every day. Finally, being away from almost everyone, being alone instead of on my knees in front of Tord or some messed up freak. 

Alone.   
Finally alone. 

"We're about to land." 

Alone in my thoughts, at least.   
I strapped myself into my seat tightly, feeling as the plane began its descent. I clenched my eyes shut, my fingers digging into the armrests. I'd forgotten how much I hated flying, the sight of cities and clouds underneath the plane being something I wished I hadn't seen. 

My breath became ragged as the plane shook. Despite Paul and Patryk looking like they knew what they were doing, it didn't help that I was left alone in the back of a swinging plane. Chest feeling tight, no amount of deep breathing could help me. 

"Tom! You alright back there?" 

Patryk called out from his seat, my answer being a hum I could barely get out through biting my lip. As the plane seemed to jump a little, I hadn't realized how quickly we'd landed. Before I knew it, the plane was on the ground, making its way around the tracks while I stayed in my seat, ripping the fabric of the armrests. 

"You're safe, Tom. No need to be afraid." 

It took a minute for me to understand Paul's words, breathing slowing down, just as my heart rate did. I was eventually able to open my eyes, seeing the two men standing a bit away from me, smiling crookedly. The sight outside of the window was a slightly cloudy day, the plane on the concrete runway. A smile seemed to crawl on my lips when I realized I'd made it, three words making me let out a laugh in disbelief. 

"Welcome to England." 

The doors opened, Red Army soldiers coming in to greet Paul and Patryk, making sure everything was in place. There had been a few supplies on the plane before we left, boxes being carried out by the soldiers while I simply grabbed my bag and put it on. 

"Now that you're here, what are you planning to do?" 

I turned around to see Patryk with a expressionless face, his voice spoken in a blank tone. It was then that I realized, I hadn't explained my actions to them, nor had I thought about how to get to Edd and Matt. 

"I need to go to my old home. It's a bit far, but I'm going to get there somehow." 

Patryk hummed lightly, getting off the plane with me following closely behind. Paul joined his side, all three of us walking together to enter a large building full of other soldiers. 

"We'll get you there. Just tell us where you need to go." 

We walked all the way to the entrance, fresh air hitting my face again as we stepped outside. A red car was parked, the license plate reading 'NØR5K1'. Pretty obviously the same car Tord had used when he left a year ago. The plate still made me chuckle inside, before letting a slightly sad aura seep in again. 

"Just starting heading north. I'll tell you as we drive." 

Just as presumed, the car ride was full of anticipation and tension. Everything seemed to be going in reverse, no longer driving away from Edd and Matt and to the army. Like my life was going backwards. 

"Why are you going back, again?" 

Paul sat in the passenger seat, Patryk staying quiet during the ride, listening a light, jazzy song on the radio. A shrug, my eyes scanning the area around us as I answered. 

"I just know I have to go back. I don't feel safe with Tord anymore, and I've been away from home for too long." 

We continued driving in silence for most of the time, Paul and Patryk sometimes talking a bit about the music that was playing. The smell of smoke hitting my nose, I scowled at Paul as he lit a cigarette. At least he rolled the window down, but the stench didn't leave. It reminded me of Tord, and how many times I've wanted to rip his cigar out of his hand and stomp on it. One time I almost did, though he took my wrist and pulled me away. I remembered how he kissed me, asking me in a deep tone to simply let him smoke that fucking stick. Of course, I gave in and let him light it up, gaining a peck on the lips in return. 

I was weak to his charms. Tord made me weak. But, if I'm being honest with myself, part of me fucking loved that. 

"That's the house!" 

I perked up as I saw my old home with Edd and Matt in view, Patryk stopped the car before getting within 10 meters of it. My heart started beating quicker, seeing the house in almost perfect condition. Nothing seemed to change. Nothing seemed darker. Even with my improved vision that picked up every detail, the house was exactly as it was when I left. Cozy and welcoming.   
Home.   
It was home. 

Taking a deep breath, I didn't want to waste another second. I picked up the strap of my bag, opening the door, too eager to go back to my friends.   
But I stopped myself. 

Before I left, I placed my hands on the shoulders of Tord's parents, giving them warm smiles full of genuine gratitude. 

"I'm sorry about all this, and that you had do had to take me to another country so suddenly..   
But thank you so much for everything. Even the training, the support, the stupid questions you asked me at breakfast every morning.. I'll miss you two." 

Paul and Patryk's lips curled up into smiles, both men hugging me from their car seats for a bit before pulling back. 

"Of course, Thomas. You can come to us anytime you need to." 

Patryk gave me a bright smile, despite it being slightly mixed with a little sadness in his eyes. Paul gave me a firm smirk, ruffling my hair a bit. 

"You know, if something does happen between you and Tord.. We'd be proud to have you as our son in law." 

A soft blush settling on my cheeks, I gave them both another warm hug and a smile, thanking them again before stepping out of the car. I waved them off as they drove away, the license plate out of sight, as it had been with Tord. 

Taking in a quick breath, I turned my attention to my old house, walking the short distance up to it. My hand lingered slightly away from the oak door, questioning if this was really such a good idea.   
I mentally slapped myself before finally knocking on the door, waiting for a bit to hear footsteps coming from the inside.


	32. Lies

The door opened, my virtual eyes landing on a brown haired man wearing a green hoodie. I froze slightly, staying still as Edd widened his eyes, seemingly shocked out of his mind. I didn't know what to do. It hadn't even been that long since I'd left, but seeing my friend after a few weeks of being apart made me realize how much I missed seeing his old, cola-stained hoodie and sparkling eyes.

"H-ey, Edd.." 

"T-Tom? Is that you?" 

His brows raised, I realized he must've been confused about my headset. I chuckled slightly, nodding a bit at my friend. 

"Yeah, I'll tell you about the eye thing later-"

"TOM!!" 

I was pulled into a suffocating bear hug, my lungs being squeezed by my friend, his face stuffed into my chest. I couldn't even get a word in as I was attacked with a billion questions, all shouted at me with tears of joy. 

"HOW HAVE YOU BEEN? WHERE'D YOU GO? WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S BEEN SO LONG!"

Edd broke down in my arms, crying with a large smile on his face. I snapped out of my frozen state, immediately hugging my best friend back, loving the warm hug he had enveloped me in. 

"Edd? What's with all the commotion?" 

As I hugged Edd back tightly, Matt appeared at the door, a mirror in his hands, which was dropped the moment he looked at me. I tried waving at him, Edd's tight squeeze making that a bit difficult. In a flash, Matt had joined the hug, instantly cutting off whatever air supply I had left while I tried hugging my friends back. 

"G-GuYS! I caN'T bREaTHe-!" 

Edd and Matt soon pulled away from the hug, letting out a small 'whoops', while still loosely holding onto my shoulders. 

"Sorry, Tom! We're just so happy to see you!" 

Smiling brightly, Matt and Edd pulled me inside, taking my bag and placing it by the wall. They brought me to the couch before I could get a word in edgewise, the entire situation making me crack up. My friends really knew how to freak someone out yet make them feel welcome at the same time. 

"I missed you guys so much." 

Speaking with a chuckle, I finally relaxed a bit as we all sat on the couches, my friends letting out an aww and coming closer to give me a loose hug. 

"We missed you, too! But what are you doing back? We thought you were living with your boyfriend now or something." 

Tilting my head to the side, I remembered what I had told Edd and Matt before I left. 'I moved away with my criminal boyfriend who I was in love with.'   
Right..

"Yeah, well that 'boyfriend' really fucked shit up, so I thought I should just come back home to cool off." 

An expression of concern, Edd asked Matt to get me a drink while he took my hand. 

"What did he do..?" 

Question asked with hesitance, I let out a soft sigh and slumped back, Matt coming back into the room and handing me a cup of tea. I thanked him, taking a sip of the warm beverage before setting it down on the table. 

"It's a long and complicated story. To be honest, I'm not even sure if it's alright to tell you guys. You'll probably think badly of him or something.." 

I took a moment to think about what I had just said, debating in my mind if it was right to let them know of Tord's plans. He was willing to destroy his relationship with our friends, so was it right to tell Edd and Matt about what he was planning? Was it worth it if they ever met again? Not likely, but it was a possibility. 

"Hey, it's alright if you don't want to tell us. We both have a million questions, but you just got here and you're obviously pretty worn out." 

My gaze shifted from Edd to the floor, taking the cup of tea in my hands again, but not drinking it. I just felt the warmth seep through my fingers, eyes fixed on the liquid inside. Staying silent, I let my mind go blank, unsure of what to say or do.   
Eventually, I settled on not thinking at all, letting the world around me go quiet as I spoke. 

"I lied to you two. I've been lying for a long time. Mostly because I was worried what you'll think or do when you hear the truth. Maybe I was worried for nothing, but I still kept lying to you." 

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the confused expressions on my friends' faces. I didn't let my expression or posture change, still being slightly tensed up yet appearing relaxed. 

"What do you mean you've been lying, Tom?" 

A small silence settled in, my thoughts barely able to sort themselves out as I tried deciding if I should tell them or not. Eventually giving up the fight, I looked back up at Edd and Matt, pressing my lips into a thin line. 

"I can tell you everything. I want to tell you everything. Tell you about where I went after I left, who I went with, how many lies I've told, not just to you, but to myself. It's a lot, but I want to be sure you two are ready to hear it all. Maybe now isn't the best time.." 

Matt placed a hand on my shoulder, my attention directed at him. He gave a warm smile, taking the cup from my hands and setting it back on the table. Strange.. Usually Edd was the one to turn me to face him. Seems like Matt wanted to be a part of that, too. 

"Tom, it's alright if you don't want to talk about this. Edd and I are thrilled to have you back. Unless, of course, you think it's best to tell us everything now. We have a lot of time, but we always will, so you don't have to force your thoughts out to us." 

Edd came closer and placed his hand on my shoulder, giving me a soft nod to show his approval. A light smile tugged at my lips as I pulled my friends in for another hug, all three of us chuckling like idiots. It felt so good to be home again. Hugging Edd and Matt tightly, my worries seemed to melt away, even if it was just for a minute. It was bliss. 

Of course, after they pulled away, my thoughts seeped back into my head, Tord's stupid face flashing in my mind again. It was clear I was bottling things up a bit, not really having anyone to openly talk to about my dilemma. Should I tell Edd and Matt and turn them against Tord, or get them out of the house when he comes back so they don't know about the robot? 

"Tom? You're spacing out again.." 

Humming, I looked back at Edd's concerned expression, letting out a sigh. 

"Right. Sorry, I'm just.." 

My words trailed off, eventually realizing that none of this mattered anyway. Explaining myself in the present for thinking about explaining myself from the past. My brain hurt enough, this was just icing on the cake. 

After the hug broke up, we stayed silent again. Matt piped in, asking if we should just relax together and give me time to think about what I wanted to say, but I shook my head.   
I had to tell them, even if it hurt. 

"Tord and I are friends with benefits." 

Edd practically choked on pure air, coughing his lungs out and hitting his back, while Matt stayed completely still, eyes open wide with shock. I handed my cup of tea to Edd, watching as he drank it all in under ten seconds. He panted heavily when he finished, setting the cup on the table with enough force to almost make it shatter. 

"WHAT?!" 

Staying still for a moment, I scolded myself for being so direct with my words. I took in a light breath while closing my eyes, sitting back and saying whatever came to mind. 

"A few years ago, Tord and I slept together for the first time. I was pretty buzzed, Tord was pretty sexy, I'm not gonna go into detail. For some reason, we both thought it was a good idea to have sex again after that. And again, and again, and again, until it turned into a pretty normal thing for us. As soon as you guys left the house, we'd rip our clothes off and slide under the covers..

Heh, it was honestly pretty exciting. The fear of getting caught only made me feel more alive." 

I kept my eyes shut, not allowing myself to see the possibly confused and disgusted faces of my friends. They probably thought I was a dirty slut. To be honest, I deserved that. 

"You guys remember when he left, right? I was pretty devastated, even if I didn't want to admit it. We always made it seem like we hated each other's guts back then. Maybe we were lying about that. Honestly, it did annoy me that he'd always kick me out of bed after sex. That's all that mattered to us, though. Sex." 

I swallowed, remembering some nights where I was kicked out as soon as Tord pulled out of me. It hurt to just be used like that, but then again, we weren't anything more than sex partners to each other. There was no reason to stay in bed when we finished. Though, for some reason, that always hurt to admit to myself. 

"As you can imagine, when Tord left, I was feeling pretty shit. He helped with my.. frustration.. as well as keeping my drinking in check. Without him, I constantly went out to bars and clubs. My main goal was to just get wasted and sleep around with whoever looked at me-"

"Tom, that's incredibly stupid and dangerous. Do you know how many sick people could take advantage of you?! Were you even thinking about that?!" 

Edd cut into my story and started ranting about things an overprotective parent would say, making me open my eyes just to roll them. 

"Edd! I wasn't thinking, that's the point! I didn't care about anything! When Tord left, I always felt alone and horny, it wasn't a good mix." 

I snapped at my friend, watching as he puffed his chest out and kept quiet. I flopped back down on the couch, sliding a hand through my hair with an aggravated huff. Taking a few moments to calm down, I eventually let my eyes settle on the view outside the window, continuing my story. 

"One night, I met a man named Jason at the bar. We fucked, it was shit, he left in the morning. There's more to him, but I'll get to that later. When I came home, you were pissed at me, Edd. You demanded that I got a job, stopped drinking and going out, blah, blah. I did, I started working at the bar with Eric. You were happy, which was why I did that. 

But I wasn't happy, Edd." 

My eyes wandered over to my green wearing friend, looking at the forlorn expression in his chocolate brown eyes. 

"I wasn't happy going to work every day, serving drinks and cleaning tables, only to come home to you always being mad at me for something. I know you probably think I'm lazy, and you're right. I was. But I was just so fucking upset about everything. Mostly about losing Tord..   
He meant more to me than just sex and fake fights." 

Rubbing my arm slightly, I would've gone more into detail about how Tord made me feel over time, but I didn't want to open myself up that much. My friends deserved to know where I was first. 

"Tord came back a year after he left. He caught me at work and explained where he was. I'm going to give you guys a quick rundown of everything that happened, and I want you to hear me out completely, alright?" 

Edd and Matt nodded stiffly, I gulped slightly, knowing both of my friends would ask more questions this way and would keep us up for three days straight, but it was the easiest way to explain things. 

"Tord's the leader of an army called the Red Army. He asked me to be his fake secretary so I could help him release stress by letting him fuck me whenever he wanted. I missed him, I missed having sex with him, so I agreed and left to go to the army. I had one week of training which wasn't too bad, ran into Jason, the guy at the club that I fucked. Everything was fine until a certain Commie told me a stupid plan that involved you two and breaking your hearts. I told him I didn't approve of it, so I ran away from him and went to Jason, who I told everything to. Turns out, he was the leader of another army who was fighting the Red Army, so he kidnapped me like a douchebag." 

I paused for a bit to catch my breath, Edd opening his mouth to speak, though I just held a finger up to him and continued. 

"He strapped this headset thing to my face which pretty much tortured me whenever I did something like try to escape or flip off Jason. I had to eat naked in front of the entire army. Jason got some info about the Red Army out of me by invading my mind and showing memories of Tord and me fucking. Tord saved me, and I went pretty much blind, so he took care of me and I started falling for him. His scientists made another headset, the one I'm wearing, that's designed specifically to help me see again. I thought everything was cool until Tord revealed he was still going to go through with the plan to come back here in two weeks, steal a giant robot he built a year ago without saying goodbye, and fly into the sky without raising suspicion about a big ass flying toy. I told him I loved him before leaving his sorry ass and coming back to you two a few hours later, and here I am. 

So, what happened to you guys while I was gone?"

A silence swept over us once I finished, Edd seeming frozen while Matt looked to the side, rubbing his neck slightly. He spoke up in a slightly hushed tone, momentarily breaking the silence. 

"We.. got another cat named Starr.." 

Edd got off the couch after a moment, letting out a long exhale while rubbing his temples. 

"Forgive me, Tom, this is a lot to take in.." 

I nodded in understanding, keeping quiet while Edd looked like his brain was dying. Matt stayed silent as well, picking up a ginger cat that I'd never seen before and petting it with a stoic expression. 

"I think you coming back is enough drama for today, wouldn't you say? I mean, of course there are still a billion things I want answers to, but obviously that isn't a good idea right now." 

Edd faked a smile, letting it fall as he let out a sigh. It was clear he was trying hard to figure this all out, and honestly, I was pretty grateful he was doing so. 

I went up to my friend, pulling him in for a comforting hug while rubbing circles into his back. 

"Sorry for blurting things out.. I'll tell you everything in detail when things have cooled down.   
Sorry.. for lying.. and for turning your world upside down in half an hour." 

Edd chuckled lazily, hugging me back weakly in a warm embrace. 

"It's fine, Tom. You've clearly had it a lot worse. I'm just happy you're back." 

A dopey smile crawling onto my lips, I tightened the hug a little before letting go, meeting Edd's slightly teary eyes as he held the same smile. 

"Hey, guys? What do you say we turn on the telly and eat chips for the rest of the day?" 

Matt looked up at us, now petting the new cat and a very happy Ringo at the same time. Edd and I shared another smile, sitting back down on the couch and nodding at our friend. 

"Sounds great, Matt. Just like old times."

Throughout the rest of the day, even though we weren't talking to each other, I felt loved by my friends again. Of course, I had to ignore Edd's slight smirk and stupid questions about Tord and me, but it still felt like I was accepted again. I was finally back home, a place I never wanted to leave again. 

Underlying thoughts and worries about Tord were pushed down as we laughed at the TV, spending our afternoon being lazy and having fun; two things I'd missed more than seeing Tord's annoying face again.


	33. Wind

One week, six days. Every night nearing the return of Tord spent sleepless with worry. Would he even show up? Was he just going to take his stupid robot and leave like he planned to? Was he even going to talk to us? Face me? Say hi and pretend to be Edd and Matt's friend?

A sigh slipping my lips, I got out of my bed, eyes narrowed sleepily but unable to close completely. I thought giving the headset a command to make me sleep would work, but this one wasn't designed to do that. All I got in response from my eyes was 'Unregistered Command, Please Repeat', which started getting annoying after the third or fourth time. 

I made my way out of the dim bedroom once I realized trying to force myself asleep wasn't working. My mind just kept racing, replaying things from the past week. How Edd and Matt always asked me some questions about everything since I'd been gone. How we'd play video games and make fun of each other when the other two lost. When we went out to eat somewhere, the waiter asking if I was some kind of cyborg here to take his job. 

My time back home with my friends was fun. I really missed spending my nights with them.  
Of course, that made the thought of Tord creep back in. What if he came back just to take me away or something? Maybe he's changed. Become someone worse. Someone who doesn't care about morality. He's got an entire army on his side-

Feeling the slightly cold floor of the kitchen under my feet brought me back to reality. I hadn't realized I'd walked all the way here, everything in my head clouding my eyes. Taking a bit to remember why I was there, I eventually went to the fridge, taking out the milk to heat it up in a small pot. 

A yawn or two slipping my lips, for the first time that night, I found myself actually paying attention to my surroundings. Watching the milk in the pot, checking it every few seconds to know when it was heated up. Once it was warm, I poured the milk into a mug with a picture of Ringo on it, sprinkling some cinnamon and honey in it, before cleaning up and sitting on the couch. 

Taking a sip, I looked out at the darkness through the window. It was so quiet, being here by myself. A small gust of wind blew past the house, the sounds familiar to a wailing ghost. It was oddly calming, my eyes finally shutting, though my mind not turning off. Instead, I listened to the sounds from outside, smiling softly as I did so.

I never got to hear the wind in the base. My room was too deep in the building, the walls and windows completely soundproof. It just made me feel all the more relaxed, knowing I was finally home again where I belonged. 

"Can't sleep?" 

Edd's voice slightly startling me, I opened my eyes to find my friend standing next to the couch, a can of Cola in his hands and a smile on his face. I gave him a slightly weak chuckle, nodding a bit as I scooted over to make room for him. 

"Yeah, it's been like this for a few days. How about you?" 

He shrugged, taking a seat beside me. 

"Eh, just stayed up animating something." 

He swirled his Cola around a little, trying to look at the liquid through the hole before speaking again, his eyes never leaving the drink.

"But something's been bothering you, hasn't it?" 

Looking up to face me, Edd wore a concerned expression, his lips pressed into a thin line. 

"You've been distracted lately. It always seems like something's on your mind that worries you." 

Placing a hand on my shoulder, Edd rubbed his thumb up and down slightly in a comforting manner. 

"What's wrong, Tom?" 

My eyes fixated on the liquid in my own mug, I took a sip and sighed, keeping my gaze on the mug in my hands. 

"Tomorrow's the day that Tord's supposed to take his stupid robot back."

Edd's thumb stopped moving, the action making me turn my head to him in curiosity. His face held an unreadable expression, as if a shadow was cast over his eyes with his brows lightly furrowing. 

"Tomorrow, huh?"

His tone less cheery, voice obviously a bit strained. It made me worry for the other, Edd taking his hand from my shoulder and holding his drink. We sat in silence for a bit, my thoughts being distracted by the somber sigh Edd let out. 

A pathetic chuckle, Edd looked down, his eyes never leaving the can of Cola in his hands. 

"It's kinda funny. Tord left surrounded by friends. Now he'll come back being alone." 

My eyes drooping a bit, it was clear Edd's thoughts weren't much brighter than mine. Betrayal was written on his face. Pain, hurt, it was all there. I knew he'd be down about this, finding out a dear friend didn't even care about your feelings at all if they could hurt you for their benefit. 

I knew that feeling all too well. 

"To be honest, part of me kinda understands him." 

My face turning to one of confusion, Edd still didn't change his expression. Well, apart from owning a sad smile that shakily tugged at the corners of his lips. 

"It's been a long time since we've seen him, he's been preoccupied with lots of other things. Running an army, fighting that army with the dude who kidnapped you.. He hasn't really had a chance to think about me or Matt for a while. At least, I'm assuming he didn't. 

Maybe he just forgot what it's like to have friends. I mean, did he have any in the base?" 

Slightly surprised by Edd's question, I took a moment to think about it, answering with uncertainty. 

"Uhm, n-o? Not that I know of. Apart from me and his parents, he didn't really spend time with anyone for fun.." 

Of course not, everyone was afraid of him. The soldiers looked up to him as a leader, not an equal friend. They were there to win a war, not make memories and let loose. Tord had to set an example and always be uptight. Paul, Patryk and I were the only people he could relax around, as we three knew his true personality and who he really was.   
Not some formal bastard who was always working.   
A man who actually had feelings, even if they were buried deep, deep down, hard for anyone to reach. But they were still there. 

"That's probably why. You and Tord were friends with benefits, that isn't the same as just friends in general. And his parents.. it's hard to befriend the people who've raised you. They're always above you, after all. 

But with Matt and me, it's just about having fun. Tord hasn't had that in a long time..  
I'd imagine he's forgotten that feeling. He's stopped thinking about other people. His main concern is now about the other armies and people he has to take care of.   
He's forgotten how to have fun." 

I let Edd's words sink in, brows still furrowed while I tried understanding what he was saying. 

"I guess.. but that still doesn't excuse the fact that what's he's doing is wrong. He's just coming back here, pretty much ignoring the years we've all spent together having fun and getting close, and using a giant weapon to take over the world. It's inhumane and unfair. It's just so unfair." 

My head lulling back to hit the top of the couch, I closed my eyes while listening to a soft breeze wash past the house again. I hated feeling so empty; something that usually happened when I wasn't around that son of a bitch. He made me love him, and I hated it. 

My hand held softly by Edd, he looked off to the side, his face slightly stuffed into his hoodie. He kept quiet, obviously lost in thought, much like I was. I held it back softly, the two of us sinking deeper into the couch, both kept awake by our overactive minds. 

"You've had an impact on him, though." 

A hum, questioning what the other meant. Edd chuckled lightly, looking at me with a soft expression. 

"He wouldn't have come back if he didn't care about you. And he wouldn't have saved you from that Jeremy guy or whoever he was." 

Tilting my head to the side, I kind of understood what Edd was talking about, but was unclear of the context. He came after me, probably because I was the best guy he could find to fuck. That was all I thought of it, though Edd continued speaking. 

"He obviously cares about you, Tom. A lot, from the stories you told Matt and me. He took care of you, gave the order for your eyes to be fixed, did a lot to make you feel better. I wasn't as close to Tord as you were, obviously, but even I can see there's more to it all than sex." 

He sipped his Cola, his smile turning into a bit of a smirk. 

"I'm thinking he's a bit more attached to you than he thinks he is." 

Taking a sup from my mug, I let Edd's words seep into my mind, started to realize what he was saying. 

"You left him because he was doing something you didn't find alright. Your last words to him were that he's not the man you want him to be. Coming from someone he deeply cares for, maybe that could be enough to make him realize his mistake..

I'm not saying I know that's what happened. I'm just saying.. it's possible.   
You leaving him alone again could change him, Tom. If he cares about you, he'll change." 

A slightly tighter squeeze on my hand before it was let go, Edd collected himself before getting off the couch. He ruffled my hair up a bit, getting an annoyed grumble from me. He chuckled softly, walking over to the hallway to go to bed. 

"Who knows, Tom. Maybe he's willing to win you back. Try getting some sleep, alright?" 

Soft footsteps leading away from me, a muffled sound of a door closing down the hall. I was alone again, eyes eventually leading to the mug of warm milk in my hands. Minutes passed, hardly any wind blowing past the house anymore, making me sigh and get off the couch. The silence was killing me. 

Taking my mug from the table, I finished it as I walked to the kitchen, eventually washing it in the sink and putting it away to dry. I headed back to my room, hand lingering on the doorhandle while Edd's words kept replaying in my head. 

Maybe.. he was right.   
Tord had grown closer to me over time, eventually snuggling with me, kissing me, overall being much warmer and open. Was that my doing? Did I have any impact on that, or did Tord just change out of pity or feeling like a bad person? 

I had no idea what was going through Tord's mind, every smile meant a different thing. Some meant lust, others meant joy, some I couldn't even decipher. I didn't know everything about Tord. We were just sex buddies. 

Why would he care so much about a fuck toy? 

Just someone he grew up with, spent years getting to know, fucking at least once a week, cheering him up when he was feeling down. Even through that, he still wanted to hurt his other friends and kept the plan up, even though I was against it. 

Maybe he didn't care enough to listen to my pleads. I wanted him to stop, I was even kidnapped because of his stupid plan, but he didn't listen.   
So, maybe I didn't have an impact on him... 

My brain hurt. I'd had enough of staying up, second guessing everything that went through my mind. The warm milk was finally taking effect, my door opening as he walked in with a yawn. 

Flopping down on my bed, I closed my eyes, eventually letting myself fall asleep. Guess my questions would be answered tomorrow.


	34. Home

A nice, quiet breakfast. Cereal boxes spread on the table, milk and bowls accompanying them. Edd munched on his Eddsworld Cereal puffs and read the newspaper while Matt poured milk into his bowl before adding cornflakes, making me cringe and look away in disgust. 

I stared down at my food, lazily taking a spoonful of mushy corn products into my mouth, my gaze directed back on the window. It was 10am, still no sign of Tord. His schedule was still locked into my headset, no times showing for when he was planning to arrive. 

Without looking up from his newspaper, Edd patted my head with his free hand, sometimes lightly slapping my face. 

"Uh, Edd? Why are you hitting me?" 

He shrugged, slapping my head a little harder than before, making me let out a small grumble. 

"To distract you. Stop looking out of the window, he'll come when or if he comes." 

Finally taking his hand back, Edd ate another spoonful of his breakfast, his words lingering in my brain for a bit before I shook my head. Another small grumble and a few words muttered under my breath, I simply took my eyes off the window, finishing up my food before doing the dishes. 

Scrubbing the plates, my stupid brain went back to thinking about Tord. Was he hurt by what I said two weeks ago? What did he do while I was gone? Did he just shrug it off and find that blonde bitch to fuck, or did he actually feel too bad to find someone else? Was he going to go through with his plan? What would happen if he did? Would he come back, even if he wouldn't go through with it? What would he even do? Why the fuck was I thinking about this so much?!

I threw the plate at the sink while letting out a yell in frustration, surprised to find it all still in one piece, not that I paid much attention to that. Huffing, I stomped out of the kitchen, getting a few concerned looks from my friends. Ruffling my hair, I threw myself on the couch, taking a pillow and hitting my face against it while I yelled.

"WHY. CAN'T. MY. BRAIN. JUST. STOP. WORKING."

Ending it with a scream of the damned, I flopped face-first on the couch, groaning lightly. Matt walked out of the kitchen with his cereal in hand, taking a spoonful in his mouth while talking to me. 

"Tom? Are you possessed again?" 

Turning around to face Matt, I gave him a fake laugh as he ate while wearing a confused expression. Letting out a sigh, words slipped from my mouth in a monotonous voice. 

"Tord's scheduled to come back today and take his big, stupid robot." 

Matt raised a brow, walking over to me placing his bowl beside me on the table. 

"Well, I for one would be quite thrilled to see him again. He's been gone for a long time, so we'd have a lot to talk about! Maybe he's tried some new products for his hair! I always told him he should find a shampoo that made his strands shine. They're nice and thick, perfect for a brand I've been telling him to use-"

"It's not like that, Matt. He wouldn't stay to chat." 

I cut off Matt's rambling once his irritating voice got the best of me. Matt was fun to have around, but when the topic didn't interest anyone but him, it could become quite unbearable. 

His head slightly tilting to the side, Matt opened his mouth to speak, but a knock on the door cut him off. That knock made me sit up instantly, my heart beginning to race as my chest tightened. Eyes wide, I looked towards the door, unsure if who I thought was behind it was really there. 

A moment of stillness passing, another few knocks rang through the room, Edd coming from the kitchen to see Matt and me look at him. My face displaying panic as he walked closer to me, Edd's hand landing on my head to give it a small pat. 

"You should check the door, Tom." 

My lip quivering, I nodded, every step closer to the door seeming to make time move slower. Shakily wrapping my fingers around the handle, I took a deep breath, twisting it to open the door. 

Sunlight flowing into my vision, I was momentarily blinded, the only thing standing out being a figure in front of me. Slightly taller than I was, hair put up in two cowlicks, a red hoodie covering his torso, fingers fiddling with its cuffs.   
Tord. 

My eyes adjusting to the light, I saw Tord's head hanging slightly low, his eyes on me with a culpable expression. Lips pressing into a thin line, I had played this scene millions of times over in my head. Wondering what I should say, what I should do, what his reactions would be.  
My days of planning all went down the drain when I was really in front of him. I'd forgotten everything I wanted to yell in his face. 

Deciding not to let my repressed longing for him show, I folded my arms with a glare, leaning on the door slightly. 

"Looks like you really showed up for your stupid toy. Well, now you're here. Grab what you came for and leave. You've got five minutes." 

No longer playing with his hoodie sleeve, Tord gave me his full attention, a bit surprised by my assertive tone. Once I'd finished speaking, he chuckled weakly, a small frown playing on his lips. 

"That.. will be quite hard to do." 

Rolling my eyes, I went along with his little script, honestly just wanting him to get to grabbing his robot and leaving our lives again. Déjà vu.

"Why, because you can't dismantle your oversized plaything in five minutes?" 

A stiff shake of the head, Tord looked serious as his eyes stared into mine, walking closer to me ever so slowly. 

"No, Tom. Because I came back for you." 

Taking a moment to understand what Tord meant, I let out an exaggerated laugh, fakely smiling at the end of it. 

"Nice one! It's really cute how you do the stern face like you're telling the truth. If I didn't know better, I would've beli-" 

Tord walked in before I could finish my sentence, holding my shoulders while standing just in front of the opened door. His eyes deeply boring into mine, I found myself speechless while his accent filled my ears. 

"I'm being serious, Tom. I've hardly gotten any sleep since you left. Every night I just keep thinking about what you said and how I felt. I've been too distracted to get any work done. You've been the only thing on my mind, day in, day out, and now that you're here I just want to hold you and never let go." 

Slightly panting after his outburst, I had been taken by complete surprise, his fingers slightly digging into my arms as his brows furrowed. No words came to mind for me to say, only a small whimper leaving my throat after a few silent moments. 

"T-Tord, you're hurting my arms.." 

His expression letting up, he took his hands off, mumbling a small apology as he gave me a bit of space. After taking a moment to collect my thoughts, I let out a light breath, barely able to look into the eyes of the man I'd accidentally fallen in love with. Even through my anger I could still feel my heart longing to have him hold me in his arms again, caressing my skin while peppering loving kisses over it. 

But first thing's first. This asshole needed to explain himself. 

"Alright, Tord. I'll let you say everything you've been practicing on your way here, then I'll speak." 

He nodded slightly, gaze flickering over to Edd and Matt who were watching from the couch. They looked away sadly, Tord's eyes showing a hint of pain when they did so. Looking back at me, Tord began talking. 

"When I first left, I didn't know what I was doing, ok? I just wanted power over the world, and leading an army gives me a rush that made me feel like the king of everything. And for some time, that feeling stayed with me. But then it faded.. I felt like something was missing, if you know what I mean." 

I rolled my eyes, knowing how cliche this all sounded. But hey, if it's cliche, it just means it works. 

"After a while, I started thinking back to when I was with you. Somehow, you made me feel.. even better than when I was ruling an army. I can't explain it - it felt like every day was something new with you. I felt free, I felt excited, more determined to follow my goals with you by my side.   
So, I came back for you. Of course, having sex with you was something I'd missed... That's all I told you, though." 

Cheeks dusting a light pink, I averted my eyes from the other's, feeling Edd and Matt's stares on the back of my head. I was definitely getting teased about this sometime. Tord didn't seem affected, though. He continued on with his speech. 

"Before Jason kidnapped you, I didn't accept these feelings. I kept my distance from you, because even though I was always smiling around you, deep down, I was scared. Being near you made my heart race, your smile made me feel weak to my knees! And God, in bed, you made me feel more alive than when I was fighting in the middle of a war!" 

Clearing my throat forcefully, Tord raised a brow, looking over at Edd and Matt after I tilted my head in their direction. They were clearly holding back laughter, snickering quietly behind their hands. A small, playful smirk on Tord's lips, he took a moment to brush it off before going back to talking to me. 

"A-nyway.. I never wanted to give in to what I was feeling back then, mostly because I didn't even know what I was feeling. I never wanted to get too close to you, because when I did, my heart almost ripped out of my chest. Whenever you wanted to cuddle or kiss me, I was too afraid to let that happen, so I tried keeping my distance from that. Now I know you were probably.. wanting to explore those feelings, instead. I'm sorry I pushed you away, Thomas." 

Eyes opened a little more, I had never considered Tord's reasoning behind his past actions. All the times he told me he 'only wanted to kiss a lover', was he trying to say he was too scared to make me his lover? I didn't bother dwelling on his words for too long. 

"So, when Jason took you away.. I didn't have you anymore. I didn't have you again. I had you, then in the blink of an eye, I didn't. I didn't have someone who made my heart race, or who made me laugh everytime he made a snide remark. Everything just felt so.. lonely. I felt incomplete again, Tom! Again!  
Thank God my team did a background check on you and the missing soldier. As soon as we found out where you were, I planned an attack in a heartbeat." 

His left arm going up to rub the other, he seemed to be stuck in his mind for a moment. A sigh cutting through the small pause, he spoke with a sheepish tone. 

"When I got you back, though.. I started giving in to my feelings. I didn't see the need to hold back from kissing you, or holding you, or giving you every bit of attention I could. You were hurt, I did what I thought was best for you, because really, you've gone through enough.   
But then.. heh.. I lost you again. The third time now, and the third time because of something stupid I did." 

His pathetically weak laugh sent a small chill down my spine, a frown pulling at his lips slightly. I tried to shake the strange feeling away, keeping down any intention of forgiving him and hugging him until he's unable to breathe.  
Not this time. 

"You were right, Thomas. Choosing between the world and my world should be an obvious answer. With you gone again, my world was crumbling apart around me piece by piece. You were gone again. Again!  
AGAIN!  
Because of me!  
You went back to your old life, because life with me was getting too stupid to bear! And I understand that!" 

His voice raised, he started taking steps towards me as he spoke, pushing me more and more into the corner of the room. 

"I was such an idiot! A fool! To lose you a third time, I felt like I was going insane! Again, for the fucking plan I made with a weapon! One I can rebuild with a bit of time.   
When you went back home, I kept thinking. And thinking, and thinking, and thinking, and- cursing myself for doing this to you! To us! Because I finally fucking realized, after years of pushing down thoughts and feelings, after telling you I didn't want to let you in enough to kiss you, that I was pushing away the one thing that I love!!  
I love you, Thomas!   
I fucking love you!" 

My back pushed up against the wall, Tord loomed over me, panting heavily after letting out such a long and powerful outburst. My heart was pounding, sweat covering my forehead while Tord kept himself up by holding an arm on the wall beside me. His breath bouncing off my skin, taking endlessly long to slow down. Eventually coming out as choked sobs, Tord brought his free hand up to his eyes, covering them as he tried not to let any tears out. He failed, one long drop sliding down his face and falling onto the cold ground. 

Silence surrounding us, only the sound of Tord desperately trying to keep his sobs in were heard. At first, shock went through my body, fear of what Tord was going to do, surprise by how much I hadn't known about his thoughts.   
But when I saw the man I'd grown up with, strong and brave as he's always been, crying and confessing his love to me that he'd been keeping in for so, so long...  
I smiled. 

Hands trembling slightly, slowly reaching up to cup the cheeks of the man I'd fallen for. His hand lowered, I wiped the tears that had escaped his eyes away, my lips curling up softly to give Tord a loving smile as I leaned in to plant a soft kiss on his cheek. His eyes meeting mine, Tord seemed frozen, pain and sadness seeming to overtake his expression. Letting out a hushed chuckle, my lips brushed over his, though didn't dare kiss those belonging to the other. My tone gentle and caring, I spoke in a quiet voice, words coming straight from my yearning heart. 

"I'm in love with you, Tord." 

My arms snaking around his neck, I hugged him caringly as he eventually broke down, gently embracing me around my waist. His head stuffed into my neck, my eyes closed with happiness as he softly cried into my hoodie. 

"I'm so sorry. I-I'm so, so sorry. I'm s-orr-y." 

Simply hushing him, I let my fingers card through his hair, my lips peppering soft kisses over his head. 

"I know, Tord. But I'm not the one you need to apologize to." 

Feeling him nod in my neck, I lovingly nuzzled my cheek against his hair, smiling peacefully as he slowly calmed down once again. 

For a few blissful moments, everything seemed to disappear as Tord and I hugged. Our past, our worries, even time seemed to no longer exist as I let the feeling of love overtake me. Years had gone by, years of secrets, lies, denial. All for this one moment, where Tord pulled back from my neck, and let our lips meet. A beautiful kiss, passion and love making my heart swell like never before. 

Only when I opened my eyes was I brought back to reality, the kiss gently broken as I stared into Tord's eyes with a lovesick expression. I knew he was thinking the same as I was, our feelings shared and our hearts beating in sync. 

"Should we leave you two alone, or..?" 

Chuckling lightly, I looked back to my friends on the couch, their faces covered with heartwarming smiles while they looked at us. I'd assumed Edd would've been enraged at Tord, cursing at him and banning him from ever coming close to any of us again.   
Instead, he looked happy. He had a shit eating grin on his face with teasing intentions, but he looked happy. 

Tord smiled at our friends, shaking his head lightly before letting go of my hips and slowly walking over to the couch. Once there, he let out a light breath, sitting down with his body turned towards our friends. I sauntered over behind the couch, watching everything while leaning against the wall. Tord began speaking, his voice mixed with hesitance and guilt. 

"E-dd and Matt.. I'm sure you already know what my intentions were." 

His eyes glancing to the side, head hanging a bit low, Tord held himself together bit by bit. Edd, however, crossed his arms and nodded with a hum, Matt tilting his head to the side as they both waited for Tord to continue. 

"Before Tom left, I thought I was doing the right thing. A-t least, for my army. I'd been told my plan was.. very stupid. Not just by Tom, but by my parents, too. I didn't listen, because I really thought it was the only way to win the war..  
Keep Tom safe." 

Glancing up at me, Tord's eyes slightly lifted at the sight of my approving nod, speaking with a bit more confidence. 

"B-ut I've noticed - well, realized is a better word.. that Tom was doing everything he could to protect you two. Just as I thought I was trying to protect him.  
But here, he doesn't need to be afraid of an attack, or being kidnapped, killed, going blind, the list goes on." 

A roll of the eyes, Tord was probably unaware of how dramatic he was making my time in the Red Army out to be. Apart from the Grey Army incident, the worst part of being in Tord's base was getting up at unholy hours. 

"Anyway, I know I'm just talking about Tom all the time instead of you guys. To be honest, I've been away for so long. So long, that I don't even feel like your friend anymore. Which is understandable..  
I haven't been a very good one to begin with." 

A moment taken to collect his thoughts, Tord took a small breath in, looking Edd and Matt in the eyes with an honest gaze. 

"But I'm sorry for the way I've treated you, even without your knowledge. I'm sorry for ever thinking that destroying whatever crumbles left of this friendship for power was the right choice to make. I'm sorry for taking Tom away from you, for bringing you into this whirlwind of drama and chaos.   
I'm not seeking forgiveness from either of you, and I'm positive it'll take a long time. Especially to be friends.. like we used to be.   
All I want is to be given a chance to correct my mistakes. Figure out where I went wrong, start to build some kind of bond between the three of us again. 

I know it'll take time, and effort, and putting up with a lot of remarks about distrust and honesty. But Edd, Matt.. j-ust being here again makes me realize.."

His voice quivering a bit, Tord pushed it down in order to get his words out. He fumbled around with his fingers, acting a bit sheepish, as a child making new friends would behave. 

"..I miss you guys." 

A pitiful chuckle leaving his lips, he let out a light sound of surprise when he was tackled down by Edd and Matt on the couch. All three of them laughing through tears, Tord tried his best to hug them back. I went up to the back of the couch, leaning my hands on the edge while staring down at my friends with a fond smile. 

Edd was the first to speak after the laughing had died down, all three men hugging each other with affectionate smiles. 

"We missed you too, Tord.   
And as for forgiving you, it'll take a while. Being friends again will take a lot of effort on your part, as well as you taking very good care of Tom." 

He whispered something I couldn't quite understand, though the words 'Tom' and 'stab you' stood out. I simply brushed it off, knowing Edd was probably just being overprotective. 

"But.. it's not impossible for us to be friends again." 

Edd sitting up once again, Matt following. The ginger giggled softly, patting Tord's hair with a goofy grin. 

"Welcome home, Todd!" 

Rolling his eyes with a laugh, Tord just let Matt do what he felt like doing, knowing he'd have to put up with this for a while.   
I walked up to the front of the couch, sitting down beside Tord, and letting my arms reach over his shoulders from behind. He looked back, giving me a comfortable smile as he snuggled into my warmth. 

"How long are you planning to stay?" 

Tord went quiet for a bit, speaking up with a bit of hesitance in his voice. 

"Well.. whether I stay here or not isn't really up to me. But as for staying in town, I'm planning on doing that indefinitely." 

My heart stopping for a second as I took a moment to realize what Tord meant. 

"Tord.. are you going back to the Red Army?" 

A moment of silence, a shake of the head as a response. 

"I left. It was clear to me, the moment you said you'd fallen in love with me, that I was going wherever you would be. And if that place is with Edd and Matt, so be it. I'll get a job working in a cafe and take you out on romantic dinner dates." 

Awestruck, I had trouble processing what all of this meant. 

"Wh-at about the robot? Are.. are you just going to leave it here? Or is this all just another trick to steal it and leave?!" 

It was possible - wasn't it? Tord's been an asshole before. Was he playing with my heart again? Was he going to choose the army over me as well this time? 

Tord's head turning quickly to look at me, concern laced in his voice and sympathy expressed on his face. 

"No, no, Tom! I was thinking of just sending the blueprints to my parents for them to make something out of. A-nd for the robot here, I'd most likely dismantle it and get rid of the metal or use it for some other inventions.   
But Thomas, I'm not lying when I say I love you. And that is something I'm not willing to trade for the world." 

His hands finding their way to cup my cheeks lovingly, it took a moment for me to let go of what I was accusing Tord of, eventually giving him a light smile and a nod to show I understood. 

"Alright." 

We shared the soft smile for a moment before I leaned in to kiss him. I gave him a teasing peck before pulling away and standing up, leaving Tord feeling a bit unsatisfied.   
He'll need to get used to that feeling for the next few months. 

"Uh, what now? It's getting pretty awkward to watch you two get all lovey dovey around us." 

Chuckling lightly, I had to agree with Edd on this one. 

"I say, we spend a bit of time catching up and watching the 'Insane Zombie Pirates from Hell' movies in one sitting." 

All three of my friends agreed, Matt going over to set up the movie while I sat next to Tord on the couch. He leaned close to my ear, speaking with a low and husky voice. 

"By the way, Thomas. It's been far too long since I've been close to you. If you're up for it, I'd love to express my love for you in another way tonight." 

My cheeks heating up, I slightly glared at him with a widespread blush, puffing my cheeks childishly. 

"We'll see, asshole. Just because I love you doesn't mean we're still all about sex." 

Whispering with a hint of a hiss in my voice, Tord chuckled lightly, rubbing my cheek with a caring smile. 

"Oh, Tommy. It wouldn't be having sex this time." 

A brow raised, I looked at him with a suspicious glint in my robotic eyes. 

"It'll be making love." 

Matt stood up abruptly with a wide smile, my mind unable to process Tord's sentence properly at the time. 

"Alright, gang! Let's watch the movie!"


	35. Benefits

Love. I felt love. For the very first time in my life, I felt the intense emotion in its purest form. Tord's hands running down my bare body, breaths mixing together as our lips barely dusted against each other. 

The gap between us closed, Tord's lips melting against mine as we struggled to keep the kiss without breaking for air. Though, when we broke it, I received the most lovesick look I'd ever been given. Tord's cheeks dusted pink, pupils dilated, a warm, dopey smile on his face. It made my heart beat out of my chest, a breathy gasp escaping my mouth as Tord peppered kisses over my neck, leading to my chest. 

His hands feeling up and down my sides, they eventually landed on my thighs, squeezing them gently enough to earn a small whimper from me. Smirking against my skin, that man always knew how to get what he wanted. 

My legs propped up, knees bent, Tord pulled away from my neck. Leaning in once more for a slightly longer kiss, it ending with lust building inside both of us. Tord sat in between my legs, his hands holding my thighs gently, rubbing them with his thumbs. 

"Are you ready, Thomas?" 

That question had never been asked before. There was never a need to, our only reasons for intimacy in the past being lust. This time, for the very first time, it was about pure, sweet, genuine love. Was I ready for it? 

"A-bs-olutely." 

A little embarrassed of my stutter, I was nervous, strangely enough. I'd never shown my sensitive side before, always trying my best not to get hurt by anyone. I finally let my guard down this time. Tord had proven to me he was honest. He loved me. He'd shown that over the past two months he'd been back home. 

Nodding, an understanding smile present on his face, Tord reached for the bottle of lube left out on the nightstand. An awkward moment of silence passing, the only sound being Tord squirting the liquid over his lower half, more being added to his fingers. I waited, my heartbeat pounding in my ears out of nervousness. 

It was so strange, being vulnerable like this, despite having done this a million times. But I just couldn't help the feeling, Tord somehow made me question my own thoughts at times. Those times where I'd felt beaten, my self confidence dropping immensely, drinking my problems away. Tord could change that around with a simply hug, kissing me softly and whispering the most beautiful words into my ear. 

I love him, and finally, I could say that without holding back. 

Letting out a yelp, I felt a cold, wet finger enter me, my lip being furiously bitten to avoid letting out more sounds. Tord chuckled softly, squeezing another finger into me. I adjusted a bit before nodded at him to begin stretching me out, not wanting to wait for too long. It had been a while since we'd been intimate, after all. Edd and Matt wouldn't leave the house at all since Tord came back. This was the first time they went out for a party. 

"Are you alright, min kjære?" 

Looking up at him dizzily, I nodded with a smile, feeling warm when Tord gave me one, too. A few soft moans escaping my lips, I felt little to no pain as Tord stretched me out. It only felt like seconds had gone by when it was over, as I'd gotten too lost in my own world of comfort. 

His fingers leaving me, my breath hitched when I felt Tord's tip press against my entrance. He hovered over me, my eyes unable to break away from his as we stayed silent and still for a moment. 

The space between our faces no longer there, Tord's lips locking with mine in a kiss. Starting out slow, turning rough and heated within seconds. My arms lacing around his neck, I gave a breathy moan as Tord began pushing in, my nails slightly digging into his back as he did so. 

It felt amazing, his dick pushing in until it reached the base. I let out a sigh of relief, spending time adjusting and enjoying the soft kisses Tord kept peppering over my skin. I felt blissful, although some pain was in the foreground of my thoughts, I couldn't help but smile. 

Once he started moving, it was like Heaven and Earth collided between us, kisses and moans shared with each other. He was slow, passionate, my body trembling with every thrust into me. Lip bruised and bitten, nails digging into his skin as I begged him to go faster. 

He sped up, still keeping the passion and love with every thrust, feelings of care and warmth overtaking the lust we'd always felt before. Teeth and lips leaving marks on my skin, I only thought of them as him leaving imprints of his love on me. 

No pain, no need to wait for pleasure to come. I felt amazing, sparks being sent through my body nonstop. A gasp filling the room as he thrusted against my prostate, eyes clenching behind my headset as he continuously hit it. Tears welling up and sliding down my cheeks, a smile wouldn't leave my lips the entire time. 

Faster, rougher, more kisses left over my skin. Tord's face buried in the crook of my neck, both of us gasping, moaning, skin ripped open by nails and teeth. 

"F-fuck, I love yo-u so m-uch, To-m!" 

His thrusts speeding up, as fast as possible, my eyes rolled back into my skull, back arching as I moaned with a mixed in scream. My body was on fire, cum shooting from my dick and onto my chest before I even realized it. 

"I-I LO-VE YOU, T-TOO!" 

Friction in my lower half, my lip was bruised and bloody from my biting, the metallic taste lingering on my tongue while Tord kept pounding into me. A few more thrusts before he came inside of me, the feeling making me throw my head back with a muffled moan as I bit my tongue. Riding out his orgasm, Tord thrusted a few more times before coming to a stop, panting heavily as he was still half inside me. 

He basically flopped on top of me, not minding the sticky solution I'd spilled over my chest. Tord kept panting, holding my shoulders as our hearts pounding in sync. Tears glazed over my eyes, my body covered in a warm blush. 

Neither of us spoke as we both calmed down, taking minutes to finally let our breaths settle down to a normal pace. I finally opened my eyes fully, looking down to see Tord still laying on my chest. He looked exhausted, though wore a lovesick smile on his lips. I'd never seen that face after sex before.  
I liked it. 

Running my fingers through his hair, he looked up, smirking a bit before leaning in to plant a kiss on my lips. Tord pulled away first, peppering a few more pecks over my cheeks and neck, making me giggle lightly. After each kiss came a compliment, words like 'beautiful', 'perfect', even 'I love you' being whispered into my ear. 

"T-ord, I'm already sweating from having sex. Don't overheat my body even more." 

Chuckling, Tord pulled away, sitting up to the side a bit to look at me with a sparkle in his eyes. 

"I can't help it, Thomas! I finally have you, after so long. So many sleepless nights spent, thinking about the weird feeling in my chest and trying to figure out what it was.." 

He looked down slightly, smile going down to a soft, genuine one. One of warmth, love. His hand wrapping around mine, Tord brought it up to his lips, pecking it gently. 

"I finally know, Tommy!" 

I sat up to be level with him, my head tilting to the side as he continued. 

"It's love, Tom! Love! And now I get to feel it every day with you." 

A blush covering my face, I crossed my arms, punching his lightly while looking away flustered. He laughed, asking what he did to deserve that, my tongue stuck out at him as a response.

"Stop it with the cheesy crap! You're making this seem like a cliché romcom!" 

Suddenly leaning in and catching my mouth in a lip lock, Tord made me melt almost immediately, our arms lacing around each other without a moment to spare. We'd been deprived of touch for too long, never getting enough of it. 

We pulled back, sharing a light smile and a chuckle. A relaxed sigh leaving Tord's lips, he seemed pleased with the world, as I was.   
A comfortable aura settling around us, Tord wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me onto his lap. I didn't try getting away, knowing Tord just wanted to cuddle. And finally, after so many years of being kicked out of bed, I was able to cuddle him back. 

Calming silence around us, I simply relaxed in Tord's hold, my eyes fluttering shut with a warm smile. Tord slowly ran his fingers through my hair, his rhythmic heart beat making me feel safe. 

"Tom.." 

A soft hum to show I'm listening, Tord spoke with a gentle tone in his voice. 

"The Grey Army is still out there." 

That line piqued my interest, eyes opening to look at nothing in particular. 

"Ok..? I-I mean, yeah.. They'll just get a new leader.   
Why are you thinking about this right after sex?" 

I could feel Tord shaking his head, his hands soon resting on my lower back. 

"Don't worry, Tom. My mind's still on you.   
But.. I've been meaning to tell you. My parents reached out to me about a week ago, asking about the robot.   
Wouldn't it make sense to just give them the robot? That way we don't have to deal with it anymore, and the Red Army has the upper hand in case the Grey Army makes a comeback. Without me, they need some time to pull themselves back together again.." 

Letting out a sigh, my lips pressed into a thin line, eyes slightly narrowed. It was true, the giant robot was still under the house, having stayed there due to Tord hardly going down to dismantle it. He was too busy with the three of us, which I was honestly grateful for. 

"W-ell, Tord..   
What if someone gets a hold of it? What if there's another spy in the Red Army? What if.." 

My words trailing off, unaware that my hands had clenched to fists while I spoke. Thoughts of Jason came to mind, the short but horrible time in the Grey Army base reminding me of how dangerous an enemy spy can be.   
Jason.. the way he lulled me into a false sense of security. How could I let him get so close to me like that? What was I thinking?! Is he even really dead? Was he even the real Jason? What if there are others? What if they're still in the Red Army base, waiting for the robot to be delivered, only to use it to kill every soldier before coming for us-

Tord was quick to calm me down, pulling me into a tight hug and shushing me. 

"T-om, please calm down! I-It's ok, I won't do it if you're unsure." 

Arms slowly reaching around Tord's neck, we hugged each other tightly, Tord's embrace pulling my thoughts from Jason away bit by bit. Lips close to my ear, Tord whispered gently into it, rubbing my sides slightly to comfort me. 

"I'm here, Tommy. I won't ever let anyone hurt you again. I love you so much, Tom. So, so much." 

A few light sobs escaping my lips, we hugged each other for a moment, before letting go, pulling back to look each other in the eyes. 

Tord's thumb wiping away some stray tears I hadn't realized were spilling, he let his lips dance along my cheeks, eventually landing on my own to plant a loving kiss on them. 

I melted at the touch, thoughts and fears simmering down as all I could concentrate on was the way Tord kissed me. His hands rubbing my skin, so soft, so gentle. Warmth, comfort being what I felt, yet so much more.  
All from a kiss; one that lasted mere seconds before Tord slowly pulled away. Our faces still close together, eyes half lidded with light smiles on our lips. 

"I'll scrap the robot, Tommy. I'll just give my parents the blueprints but make sure only people they trust catch wind of it. They'll have top notch security. They're my parents, I should know, since they baby proofed the whole house so much I could barely move."

A chuckle given, I could only imagine a baby Tord wrapped in a blanket burrito while the floors and walls were covered in bubble wrap. The thought only made me aww. Tord's face seemed to brighten up at my smile, much as mine did. 

"We should probably get some rest, right? I think Edd wanted to drive halfway across the country for a Cola sale he saw." 

Rolling my eyes, a sigh left my lips. 

"Yeah. Not like we wanna miss that, huh."

I flopped down completely, snuggling under the covers, soon joined by Tord. His arms wrapping around my waist, we cuddled closer to each other. A lovesick smile stuck on my face, it only grew when Tord kissed my cheek from behind, spooning me with his hand lovingly around my waist. 

"Good night, min kjære." 

A hum, a kiss on his hand, and a tighter snuggle. 

"Good night, Commie." 

Sleeping blissfully in the bed we share, I can't help but be nothing short of happy. No longer hiding our feelings, we're finally lovers.

Benefits included.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a pleasant life ouo


End file.
